Come Down with a Case of “Cage Rage” (Guest Post)

Just yesterday, our dearest Nicolas Cage turned 50. I've done my fair share of Cage Raging over the years (he is my favourite cinematic topic after Leonardo DiCaprio) and come to think of it, why didn't I automatically feel the need to write an ode to him on his milestone? Luckily, Spencer Blohm sent me an email and said he had something in the pipeline to celebrate 50 years of the Cage. So here it is: a healthy dosage of Cage Rage...

You don’t have to be a movie buff, or really pay attention to movies at all to know that Nicolas Cage is an intense actor. His intensity is always there, whether he is sleeping, sitting, standing, talking, or silent. This intensity, when injected into his acting, can result in some fantastically powerful scenes, and also some complete train wrecks. This type of intensity has even earned its own name: Cage Rage.

Well, Nic turned 50 on January 7th, and what better way to honor this man who simply exudes energy than by covering some of his most famous Cage Rage roles - some of which have earned him accolades (like Leaving Las Vegas) and some which have resulted in ridicule (The Wicker Man).




The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

            In this film, Cage plays Lieutenant Terence McDonagh, who, as you can guess from the title, is a bad lieutenant. He isn’t just bad at his job, he’s generally an all-around bad person. He is a drug-dealing, crack-smoking, coke-snorting, pill-popping, lying, cheating, and stealing level of bad person. When he isn’t busy at his day job, he’s moonlighting as a drug dealer, one who conveniently sells the very drugs that are intended to be used as evidence. There truly isn’t any person who McDonagh won’t betray or any line he will not cross. It doesn’t take a genius to guess that Nic Cage playing a crack smoking, crooked cop is going to result in some serious Cage Rage. Check out the clip above for some of the strangest scenes of the film.

Nic November: Wild at Heart and The Wicker Man

Well, here we are at the end of an interesting month of devouring a whole bunch of Nicolas Cage movies. I can't really say I'm thinking that he is now a great actor, but this experience has definitely opened my eyes to his...wide array of talents. Especially this week, as I left Wild at Heart and The Wicker Man until last.

The Hairstyle: The Carefree 90s Punk-Rock/Boy Band Cross-Over

One of the main reasons why I added Wild at Heart to the list - and why I left it until last - was because it is a David Lynch film. And I thought that Lynch + Nicolas = more craziness than you could imagine. And I was right. Wild at Heart is one of the strangest movies I've ever seen, even though I suppose it is more sane and easy to follow than some of Lynch's other stuff. To be honest, there's just a whole lot of sex. Like...a lot. Honestly, it was just the basis for the entire film. There was a story of Sailor (Cage) and his 20 year old girlfriend Lula (Laura Dern) getting chased down by a gang that Lula's mother (Diane Ladd) assembled because she doesn't approve of Sailor. The gang itself is pretty crazy, mainly because it involves Willem Dafoe being crazy. But at any rate, this is just an interesting take on a road trip movie melded with a love story.

Nic November: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans and Face/Off

First of all, my apologies. I've been away from the blog for the past few days to focus on studying, and now those exams are all over. I did put a status up on Facebook, but because they've brought in those retarded new things so only 10% of my 'likers' can see my stuff pop up on their newsfeed, I doubt anyone saw it. Yay Facebook. Alas, Nic November is a day later, but I think Nicolas Cage films are just what I need to empty my brain out of all the biology stuff I've taught myself in the past three days. Now, aside from my Drama exam which won't take a lot of effort, I can run around the streets shouting out that "I'm a vampire!", reciting the alphabet in a very angry way and generally yelling and tearing stuff down. People underestimate the awesomeness in which Vampire's Kiss has bestowed upon people who no longer have to remember a whole lot of foreign terms.

Alas, we ain't talking about Vampire's Kiss here. We're talking about one of Nic's 'last good roles' in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans and one of everyone's favourite 90s action films Face/Off. Which I apparently should have seen ages ago. Oops.

The Hairstyle: The Carefree Wind Sweeping

So anyway, I suppose that The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans was the last real meaty Cage Rage role. Seeking Justice, Trespass and Stolen all kind of melded into one, no-one remembers that Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance exists, Drive Angry, Season of the Witch and The Sorcerer's Apprentice were all fairly muted and apart from the "now SWIIIIIIITCH, to KRYPTONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!" scene in Kick-Ass, there wasn't a lot of Cage Rage to be had over the poorly chosen places to put emphasis on his words. So yes, Werner Herzog's non-remake Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans it is.

Nic November: Ghost Rider and Adaptation

Here we are, back with some Nicolas Cage movies. I think I've already come to realise that the majority of his films aren't that bad - but then again, I am mixing the good with the bad: last week with Gone in 60 Seconds and the considerably better Lord of War, and this week with the awful Ghost Rider and the brilliant Adaptation. We can still have faith in good old Nicolas!

The Hairstyle: Get Me in a Boy Band/The Intense Ginger

I think that Nic should stay away from films that have him spending prolonged amounts of time in/on a vehicle. Gone in 60 Seconds was terrible. Ghost Rider was even worse. Basically, Nic is Johnny Blaze, a stunt man who likes to ride his motorcycle in dangerous ways and everyone resents him for it but he does it anyway. Oh, and he sold his soul to the devil. Mhm.

Nic November: Gone in 60 Seconds and Lord of War

Just in case you didn't get the message in my last "Dipping My Toes" post, November will be dedicated to the work of everyone's favourite actor, Nicolas Cage. Throughout the month, I will be subjecting myself willingly watching eight Nicolas Cage movies, so I can figure out whether I love him or I hate him. Starting off the month I have 2000's Gone in 60 Seconds and 2005's Lord of War. Brace yourself, this is going to be an interesting month...

Also, while we're at it, this month I'll be giving all of the Nic November movies their own specialised ratings. They're called the "Cage Rage" scales, which I used a long time ago, but am bringing back for this. You'll see them below, but the more on the Cage Rage scale, the more raged it is. It isn't a reflection on how good the movie is, just how crazy Cage is.

The Hairstyle: Yes, Peroxide Makes Me Look More Badass.

Gone in 60 Seconds is exactly the kind of movie that they play thousands of times on TV, pretending like it is a "Premiere Movie" when in reality, it has been a "Premiere Movie" the first 13 times they played it on a Saturday night. But that doesn't matter, because it is so forgettable that people will go on thinking that it is a "Premiere Movie" until the Friends reruns stop being aired at 6.30pm every weeknight.

My Movie Biography: 2010 - The Year of Christopher Nolan

(2006, 2007, 2008, 2009) 2010 was such a messed up year. I'm not sure why, but I'm pretty sure I changed my personality about 5000 times, and everyone else changed 5000 times, too. After that year, I kinda swore not to let much bother me, and just take everything a little less seriously. It seems to be working out so far. Anyway, 2010 as it was in movies:

• I went on my first actual plane ride! I went down to Christchurch, which as you know, was left devastated by two earthquakes which occurred late in 2010 and early in 2011. It was my absolute favourite place in New Zealand, mainly because of this DVD store they had there called "Alice in Videoland". Seriously, that place was magical. There were like, all of these themed room for the DVDs. Like, the horror/sci-fi room was all dark and scary. They had so many classic DVDs. The whole place was seriously like another world...kinda like how I imagine heaven. Plus, I'm pretty sure they had every DVD known to man. Yes, there's a huge difference between that DVD store and our DVD store. Unfortunately, it was damaged during the earthquake, but earlier this year it relocated and opened with an arthouse cinema. I'm definitely going down there as soon as I can afford it.
• I saw Avatar. I'm sure that was supposed to be one of those life-changing things, but it really wasn't. I'm no Avatar hater, but I'm pretty sure I was more excited over this special Avatar cup I got at the cinemas. Sadly, that cup has disappeared. 
• Say what you want about The Hurt Locker, but Kathryn Bigelow winning that Oscar for Best Director actually changed my life. Up until that moment, I had always wanted to be an actress. But when Kathryn Bigelow won that award, I realised how few female directors there were. And I thought, "why do something everyone else is doing? Let's be a director!" I still hold on to that stupid dream now, but don't expect me to be the next Bigelow.
• I did happen to win an Oscar that year. Okay, not a real one. I was a part of our school production and I won an "Oscar" for being the best performer in our group. Is this foreshadowing? 

Another Gem from the 'Nic Cage Has Bills to Pay' Franchise

Film: Trespass
Year: 2011
Director: Joel Schumacher
Written by: Karl Gajdusek
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Nicole Kidman, Ben Mendelsohn, Cam Gigandet, Jordana Spiro, Liana Liberato, Dash Mihok, Emily Meade. 
Running time: 86 min. 

Maybe we treat Nicolas Cage unfairly. Maybe, in some better world, his attempts at rebooting his career are actually good. Or maybe, Nicolas Cage is just messing with us and he's inventing a new form of comedy: where he tries too hard with so little. I think there is something that we can take away from the past few years of his career: he is a more is more kind of guy, and unfortunately that doesn't work when you are an Oscar winning actor. His recent effort, Trespass, is possibly his worst film to date. And that doesn't even have that much to do with him. His 'more is more' technique seemed to rub off on everyone else in the movie: everyone screamed at the top of their lungs even though no-one could hear them, the villains were so over-the-top they were measly caricatures, and then there was Jordana Spiro...but we'll get to her later. I don't know whether anyone was trying to compete with Nic to get the 'most over-the-top' award or something, but everyone managed to annoy me more than Nic's worse films and Cam Gigandet's entire filmography combined. It is the longest 86 minutes I've ever had to sit through in my life.

"You can never, never ask me to stop drinking."

Film: Leaving Las Vegas
Year: 1995
Writter/Director: Mike Figgis
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands, Richard Lewis, Steven Weber, Kim Adams, Emily Procter, Valeria Golino.
Running time: 111 min.

Believe it or not, Nicolas Cage used to star in good movies, and he used to be a good actor. Before he had been reduced to the world of witch seasoning, driving angry and riding ghosts, he starred in a little, low budget film called Leaving Las Vegas, which he won an Oscar for. He played Ben Sanderson, a man recently divorced from his wife and has found little reason to live as his job has tanked. So he goes to Las Vegas to drink himself to death. While he's on his suicide mission, he meets prostitute Sera (Elisabeth Shue), and the two spend some time together. The basis of their relationship is that Ben shall never ask Sera to give up her prostitution and Sera shall never ask Ben to give up his drinking. This, of course, makes their relationship doomed, as both of them are living such dangerous lives and damaging themselves to the point of no return.

Nicolas Un-Caged: Season of the Witch (2011)

Welcome to another edition of the sporadic new feature, 'Nicolas Un-Caged', where I, Stevee Taylor, a person who is very cool towards actor Nicolas Cage, tackle some Nicolas Cage movies. At the end of the review, I give Nicolas Cage a rating between 1 and 5 Nicolas Cage's, based on how crazy Nicolas Cage is in a Nicolas Cage movie. Did I use the name Nicolas Cage enough in that passage? Nicolas Cage.

All I remember about Season of the Witch was that it was once rated 1% on Rotten Tomatoes. Now, to me, you can't get much worse than being rated 1%. Because it means that, like, one person liked your movie. One lonely critic liked your movie. Which is more sad than nobody liking your movie, for some reason. So with it's star-power being reduced to Nicolas Cage and a slew of awful reviews, this movie was released in America, only scoring back around 60% of it's budget during it's release there. June comes around, and this movie pops up on DVD. I thought "no one has heard of it, so it won't be that popular." Boy, was I wrong. At work this past weekend, there were only two movies which people were demanding: True Grit (well done, Dannevirke) and Season of the Witch. Response coming back from the two was positive too. I can see why True Grit is so well-liked, because at least that is actually entertaining, but Season of the Witch? I just didn't see it.

I'm sure the popularity that this movie got this weekend didn't come down to Nicolas Cage being the top star, but because it is marketed as a medieval actioner. But really, this is a medieval borefest. This film is set in the times when the Black Plague was ravaging the land, and when witches were believed to be the cause of all of this. Old Nic, who plays Behmen here, embarks on a bit of a road trip with his buddy Felson (Ron Perlman) as they take a girl accused of being a witch (Claire Foy) from A to B. We go on a arduous journey across perilous terrain with them and we discover the truth about this supposed witch, along with finding the true courage which these fine men have.

It all sounds very majestic, but really, this is one cheap movie. The scenery is nice enough, even though it seems as if the camera made it look 100 times more dull. That doesn't do wonders for the story either. Believe me, I tried to stay with this movie. But you know how hard it is to stay with a movie that moves at the pace of a snail, takes itself far too seriously and doesn't even have the decency to give us a laugh or two to tide us over. I will admit, this movie isn't nearly as bad as it's 7% rating on Rotten Tomatoes makes it out to be. But yes, it is bad. The action sequences, which are few and far between, are less than exciting. I mean, when you first meet Behmen and Felson in a montage of their fictional fights, you do think that this might be a fun journey, because they look they might be a couple of jokesters. Between Nic wearing his serious face and Ron Perlman occasionally trying to lighten things up, the two never really gel, so we miss a couple of funny buddies that this movie needed.

The worst thing about Season of the Witch, though, is the fact that Nic isn't even remotely crazy in this movie. He never says anything that makes us question his sanity. He doesn't even make any weird screaming noises. Which is a great shame, because when you have a bad movie, something always makes you laugh. When you have Nicolas Cage in a bad movie, you expect to be rolling on the floor with laughter. But no, Season of the Witch is surprisingly tame. Which makes me wonder why Nic actually starred in this nonsense. Even though he may have turned into the worst actor in the world, he is above this B-grade horror schlock. He should know by now that we all enjoy him being slightly off his knocker, not sleep-walking through a movie with his one and only serious face on the whole time. One more movie like this, Nic, and you've lost your entire fanbase. I guess his hair did look impressive, though.

THE VERDICT: It's the kind of movie that should have gone straight-to-DVD everywhere, or better yet, been kept on the shelf. Season of the Witch is definitely not the most exciting movie, and Nic Cage isn't anything to laugh about, either.

What I got:

Nic Cage Crazy Scale:

Nicolas Un-Caged: Vampire's Kiss (1988)

If you've been around this blog for a long time, then you would probably know that I enjoy making fun of old Nicolas Cage now and again. But I've been unfair. I haven't seen that many of his movies. So, from now until the end of this blogs life, every Nicolas Cage movie I watch (and I will try to watch as many of them as possible), will get the title 'Nicolas Un-Caged'. Because he really is un-caged, in just about every role he takes. To go with this new sporadic feature, will be a 'Nic Cage Crazy Scale', which goes from one Nic to five Nic's. Everything else will be as normal. In this edition, I go to the tippety-top of Nic Cage crazies, and take a look at Vampire's Kiss.

I first heard about Vampire's Kiss through the brilliant "Nic Cage Loses His Shit" video, where the film is prominently featured as he runs down the street yelling "I'M A VAMPIRE! I'M A VAMPIRE!", yells the alphabet like it's the end of the world, and wandering through the city with a piece of wood going "oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh". So I was curious - what does this all mean? It looked pretty crazy from the clips used in that marvellous video. I guess I was expecting a very straightforward showcase of just how crazy the Cage is. But no. I got quite a confusing psychological dark comedy with a lead actor who just went all out in his role.

From the get-go, Peter Loew (Cage), a yuppie literary agent, is a little bit on edge. He has been known to get ticked off when things do not go his way, and he spends a lot of time explaining his life to a therapist (Elizabeth Ashley). After he finishes work he spends his nights at several clubs, and one night he meets Rachel (Jennifer Beals), who he takes home. But it turns out that Rachel appears to have fangs and begins feeding on our dear Peter. From this day forward, Peter is convinced that he is a vampire: he fails to see his reflection in the mirror, he wears sunglasses to 'avoid the light', and he sets up a vampire cave where he and his sexy vampire girlfriend Rachel live. We see Peter basically go off his nut in every way possible, but is he really a vampire, or is he just insane?

Now, this actually has a very good premise, and with the amount of remakes out there at the moment, this should really be the highest priority. However, this is really one of a kind. Saturated with cheesiness, this flick has everything I hate about (most) 80's movies: painful sexual encounters, an odd music video vibe, a really bad script...it's no masterpiece. Then again, Vampire's Kiss isn't the worst movie ever, like I expected it to be. As I said, the premise is good - and the way they go about it, for the most part, is just about as good. There is a lot of ambiguity about the film, leaving a bit of confusion in it's wake, but unltimately, that confusion leads to a very nice psychological thriller, of sorts. I guess you could say this movie is a somewhat disturbing portrait of a man unhinged. Sure, it's a bit far-fetched, but the madness that Peter assigns to himself is quite shocking to watch. Especially when he eats that cockroach...

This movie is dominated by Nicolas Cage's performance, in all of it's over the top glory, which pretty much takes any chance of this film being taken seriously away. I could never quite believe that his craziness was actually a form of mental illness. And yes, it is hard to sympathise with such a man. He really is more crazy than any human should be. One has to applaud Nic, though, because it does take a lot of courage to become this unhinged on screen. However, his performance does break this film. It could have been a smart thriller about a man questioning his sanity, but instead it just became...proof that an actor shouldn't be left to let himself go so much. This was obviously a project for Nic to let out all of his problems through being a man who thinks he is a vampire. Unfortunately, Nic had a lot of problems.

THE VERDICT: In the end, Vampire's Kiss can be easily be described as a bad film. But underneath that nutso performance from Nicolas Cage is quite a smart little story, and a very entertaining watch.

What I got:

The Nic Cage Crazy Scale:

DVD--The Sorcerer's Apprentice

or: CAGE RAGE!

One word to sum it up: Dire.

You know what's worse than having Nicolas Cage in a movie? Having Nicolas Cage playing a thousand year old sorcerer. Especially when he has a hairstyle that resembles Brad Pitt's beard. I feel kind of sorry for the guy: he hasn't been decent in a decent movie in years; he got out-acted by a 12 year-old girl in Kick-Ass; and his latest, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, was stupidly released on the same weekend as Inception in America. Of course, it flopped. While The Cage and I don't have a very good relationship, there are still enough merits in The Sorcerer's Apprentice for him to be proud of.

Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) is a master sorcerer in modern-day Manhattan trying to defend the city from his arch-nemesis, Maxim Horvath (Alfred Molina). Balthazar can't do it alone, so he recruits Dave Stutler (Jay Baruchel), a seemingly average guy who demonstrates hidden potential, as his reluctant protégé. The sorcerer gives his unwilling accomplice a crash course in the art and science of magic, and together, these unlikely partners work to stop the forces of darkness. It'll take all the courage Dave can muster to survive his training, save the city and get the girl as he becomes the sorcerer's apprentice.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice is a full length adaption of a segment in the 1940 classic Disney film Fantasia. Like most remakes, this film can't quite capture the magic, so to speak, and falls into the sad territory of failed Disney live action films. As if we hadn't seen enough CGI 'enhanced' fantasy flicks over the past years. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice adopts the same old plot, with the same old formulaic script. The only thing that stands between it being totally deflated is the occasional laugh, the always funny Cage Rage and some awesome effects. That should be enough to keep the whole family entertained...even if the older ones may find themselves wearily checking the time every few minutes. It's clear that this movie doesn't have a target audience, as it's innuendoes but immature story don't mix too well together. At least there is something for everyone, and there are moments which shine bright.

Jay Baruchel, who is perhaps best known for being Kirk in the raunchy rom-com She's Out of My League, takes the lead role in this one. I wouldn't say he was the best choice for the role, but I also wouldn't go as far as saying that he was awful, like everyone else thinks. I find him really funny, and he adds the certain pizzazz that this movie needs most. Nicolas Cage is, well...Nicolas Cage. He says some things with a little too much passion ("I CAN READ MINDS!" Yeah, great dude), or HE puts emphasis ON all THE wrong WORDS. He's bearable, which is always a good thing. Alfred Molina (An Education) is, as always, spectacular as the villain. Aussie actress Teresa Palmer is cute as the love interest, and serves as the most clichéd part of the film...which somehow works. If it's a family movie you're after, then The Sorcerer's Apprentice is perfectly adequate. However, those who seek for magic in this film will surely be disappointed.



THE VERDICT: Not as fun as a family movie should be, but it isn't terrible. The CGI isn't spellbinding, nor is the storytelling, just give it a little less thought and it will be an enjoyable film.

5/10

Top 10 worst Nicolas Cage movie posters.

Here I am again, taking a stab at Nicolas Cage. Yeah yeah, I don't like him as an actor. But he's damn entertaining!
On a random search, I looked up 'Nicolas Cage movies', and found some truly awful posters for his movies. Well, they're awful and funny. Here we go...

10.

Well...this one makes a statement. Not only does it cleverly make Nic out of bullets, it makes his face look more drowsy and long than is humanly possible. Unfortunately, it's like someone hit the snooze button in my brain and told me it was okay to sleep through the duration of this movie.

9.

Okay, so this January, I won't be ready to 'raise some hell'. This just looks like a darker and grittier version of The Sorcerer's Apprentice poster. With the added surprise of a woman in Nic's reflection! Hey...I always knew he was a girl deep down inside.

8.

Gosh...Nic's face must be magnetic or something. I mean, look at it. He's managed to drag along a burning city, Jessica Biel and Julianne Moore. He is a man on a mission.

7.

Cheer up Nic...everyone ends up as the victim of a giant bird overhead. The problem is when that giant bird drops a spoon with his lunch. Then you know someone up there hates you.

6.

HE GLOWS! Wow, you learn something new every day. Is it just me, or do these poster makers really like having Nic's head coming out of nowhere like he's some seedy paedophile? Just saying.

5.

Things wrong with this poster:
-The fire burning him.
-The bullets in the 'window'.
-The leather jacket.
-The hair.
-The inexplicable placement of his arm.
-His expression.
-The inexplicable placement of his other arm inside of his jacket.
-Nicolas Cage in an action movie.

4.

God. I can't even. What is he wearing? I know it was the 80's and all. But you used this to advertise the movie?! You 80's children were seriously demented.

3.

Hmmm...how do I explain this one? There's the demonic child as the centrepiece of the poster...serving as Nic's...nose? I can't tell which part is even his face. Wow, this poster is more confusing than the fact that they would even think of remaking this film.

2.

Geez Louise...put that puppy away Nic! And what's with the dodgy opening of the jacket? One more thing...I know it's at the front and all, but why is his hand so goddamn big?!

1.

I know there was already a poster from Bangkok Dangerous, and there could have easily been more. Seriously. There are enough posters of his head. This one, is, by far, the worst. His face is completely expressionless, as per usual, but it doesn't give us any hint as to what this movie might contain. If that's an attempt to make him look like a badass, I'd definitely give this a miss.

Do you know any other actors who seem to get some really bad posters? Let me know and I can do more posts like this one!

Things I love about Kick-Ass...

Damon: Have you thought a little more about what you might like for your birthday?
Mindy: Can I get a puppy?
Damon: You want a dog?
Mindy: Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one! And a Bratz movie star makeover Sasha.
Damon: *amazed, confused look*
Mindy: I'm just fucking with you Daddy. Look, I'd love a Benchmade model 42 butterfly knife.
Damon: Oh child...you always knock me for a loop!
^if this scene doesn't make you fall in love with the movie, then I'm not sure what does.

I know quite a bit about Kick-Ass. Why? Because I have watched four times in the past week (well, I practically watched in once a day for four days). Trust me, even though most of the people I know hate this movie (no idea why), I find it insanely addictive. Must be time to roll out one of the Cinematic Paradox favourites: 'Things I love about...' (it's become a regular feature, in case you hadn't realized).


Realistic superheroes...so to speak.


Okay, so maybe Hit-Girl isn't exactly 'realistic'. I mean, the girl is about eleven years old, and can kick serious ass. I know she didn't go to school or anything, but if I ever met a girl who could do half of what she does in this movie, then I would be...shocked. Utterly shocked. On the subject of Hit-Girl, I still don't get why people get so angry about the fact that Chloe Grace Moretz spends most of this movie using *oh my goodness* profane language. Swear words are just another part of the English language, love them or hate them, and it's not like any little kids would be watching this movie. If they were, I would seriously have to question the mental state of their parents. And anyway, Hit-Girl mutilated at least ten people in this movie...isn't that worse than swearing??


Dave Lizewski, played by my latest guy crush Aaron Johnson, is a very believable super hero. He starts all the madness, only with a pre-concieved idea from his childhood and a dream that he may be able to fight crime. Sure, he has the advantage of being made out metal and having 'fucked up nerve endings', but he can't really 'kick ass' like all the other superheroes. Aaron Johnson does a great job of playing a loveable nerd, not unlike Jesse Eisenberg, and clearly needs some more roles. The guy is a hero.


As for the other two, Big Daddy and Red Mist, well, the former is definitely trained but not the sort of hero one would expect, and the latter isn't a hero at all. I think I may have liked Nic Cage in this movie, but the way he spoke when he was being Big Daddy sure did piss me off. Christopher Mintz-Plasse was equally great as the kind of misunderstood child. Look at it this way: Chris D'Amico is like Harvey Dent. Harvey lost Rachel, he went nutso. Chris lost his dad, and he looked well on the way to becoming a nut job. "You either die a hero, or live long enough too see yourself become a villain" definitely applies to Chris D'Amico.



Mark Strong


Mark Strong gets his own little section because I really respect this guy. He is in what seems like every single movie that comes out, yet still hasn't gained the accolades he deserves. His performance as the evil guy Frank D'Amico is a far cry from his previous days in films like Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. He just oozes with this tough guy exterior and totally has fun with the archetypal villain character. Who didn't wanna kill him? And the line he has: "Mummy, I wanna Kick-Ass party. Dumb little fucks." stays in my mind for some reason. Maybe because I wouldn't mind a Kick-Ass party.

Superhero spoof movie...is it?


I'm not talking those stupid spoof movies like Vampires Suck and that kind of crap. This movie very quietly takes the piss out of other superhero movies, or it has taken something from one and used it. Like, I'm pretty sure in one scene, you can here a piece of music that was used in The Dark Knight. The movie is all about being a superhero without superpowers or money, just a bit of naivety, and therefore it takes the superhero genre and turns it on it's side. Which I thought was pretty clever. And I got it all because I am a self confessed superhero movie geek...which I'm told is strange for a 15 year old girl.

The soundtrack...
...is totally rocking my world at the moment. So I'll just share some tunes from the movie which I really like.

This track, incidentally, was also on the soundtrack of 28 Days Later...which I am yet to review. There's another track in the movie, which is also composed by John Murphy, which was used in Sunshine, another movie directed by Danny Boyle.

Lastly, Matthew Vaughn's direction
He started with Layer Cake, which was a pretty standard British gangster flick which wasn't too memorable. Then he directed some schmaltzy fantasy flick Stardust, which wasn't really that great. I can hardly believe that Kick-Ass is by the same person. He's really studied what other action directors have done, and has added his own thing into there. I mean, watching this, I could definitely see similarities in his work to works of Quentin Tarantino and Christopher Nolan. He knows how to set up an action sequence, slow mo in all the right places, capture emotions and keeps a good comic book feel to it. Matthew Vaughn is clearly at home making action and comic book movies. Let's see more of these as opposed to fantasy slice-and-dice (ahem, Stardust).

^ Beautifully set up scene, probably made all the better because of the music.

Five things I love about Kick-Ass. I am going to try not to watch it again for a week...which I can tell will be pretty hard. Can't wait for Kick-Ass 2: Balls to the Wall in 2012!

The Evolution of Nicolas Cage's Hair and It's Influence/Influences

There are some things in this world which are unbelievable...in the weirdest little way. These things seem to change with a click of the fingers, and they change in the most amazing ways. Welcome to the eighth wonder of the world: Nicolas Cage's hair.
Through the years it has gone through the most amazing transformations, and it would seem that it has it's similarities with others...some similarities which are, well, interesting. Get ready for my guide on Nicolas Cage's hair...

'The Electrocuted Bieber Flick'

There is Nicolas Cage back in 1983, starring in the movie Valley Girl. You can see the 'cool guy' persona he exudes through an ultra-hip hairstyle. As you can see, this hairstyle has a very Justin Bieber look about it, but it has a bit more body. He's kinda messed it up a bit, and personally I think he looks a bit like he has just been electrocuted by a hair straightener. Not unlike Red-Mist in Kick-Ass, a film which Cage recently starred in.

'The Stallone Mullet'

Why so sad, Nic? Miss out on a part in The Expendables? Hey, don't be too sad...you were there. Stallone kinda took your mullet that you rocked in the 1987 movie Moonstruck, where you probably had better hair then your co-star Cher. Maybe there will be a sequel to The Expendables and you could take over Sly's part?

'The R-Pattz Tousled Do'
I wonder if Robert Pattinson actually took inspiration from Nicolas Cage's hairstyle in the 1987 Coen Bros. classic Raising Arizona? You can see where Nic is going with this one...no brush, no fuss. Now you can see why R-Pattz chose this hairstyle...seeing as he ain't a huge fan of the bathtub.

'The Romantic Movie Look'
Nic had to do his best to make a good impression in a romantic comedy, and he did it with a hairstyle that reminds me a lot of Tom Cruise. He went well against form in 1994 to star in fluff-and-sugar-galore It Could Happen to You. I could really see Nic and Tom in an ad together, which says this: Scientology...It Could Happen to You. Cue scientologists with some romantic haircuts.

'Serious Movie Fuzz'

In 1995, Cage starred in Leaving Las Vegas, where he played an alcoholic and won an Oscar for it. I'm sure the last thing he'd be worrying about was his hair, but I can't help but be reminded of a really itchy sweater when looking at his hair. His poor, poor head.

'The Pixie Cut'
It looks like a Pixie Cut, most commonly seen on young actresses (Alyssa Millano pictured), but Nic has added his manly touch to it for his movie Face/Off. He's trimmed it right back, taking new meaning to 'keeping hair out of his face', and has obviously succeeded in making his head look longer then it rightfully is. I really feel like asking him "Why the long face?"

'The Long and the Careless'
What was he thinking? The long locks really don't suit him. And I'm afraid that this isn't the last time we see his hair at abnormal lengths. All of this for Con Air? I could actually picture him and Mickey Rourke as best friends.

'The Cool Guy'
With this hairstyle, Nic could for once be known as a cool guy with cool hair. Sure, there ain't much of it there, but it's normal, right? If only he kept this hairstyle. In fact, if only Keanu Reeves could have kept that hairstyle. Oh yeah, Nic was playing an angel here in 1998 film City of Angels with Meg Ryan, so I guess that's what excuses any of the other wacky hairstyles.

'Blonde's Have More Fun'
Nic hits the bottle and goes blonde for 2000 movie Gone in 60 Seconds which he co-starred in with Angelina Jolie. I couldn't help but think he looked uncannily like Alexander Skarsgard, who plays Eric Northman in True Blood. Just not as buff. Or pale. But maybe, one day, Nic could do a flashback in the show as Eric's Dad? You heard it here first...

'Warm and Fuzzy'
For Adaption. Nic took on a rather interesting hairstyle...a ginger Action Man hairstyle, to be exact. Look how fuzzy it is. I wonder what is growing in that forest...

'Lettin' it Loose'
Lord of War saw Cage take on a surprisingly normal hairstyle, which just hangs there...but doesn't look out of place or anything. To be honest, he looks like a young Mel Gibson with that 'do. Let's just hope that he doesn't act like an old Mel Gibson.

'ATTACKED!'
Many people ask why Cage would even think of starring in a remake of 1970's classic The Wicker Man. I haven't seen the film, but I can tell that it doesn't look like the best movie ever. And when I saw this picture, I just couldn't help but think that the expression on his face looks like he is being attacked by Lady Gaga's Grammy Awards dress. It's not a hairstyle...but his accessories sure have him scared.

'Moustachio'
Aside from the hair on his head, Nic sometimes transforms his facial hair, this time for 2006 film World Trade Center. It's a serious movie, which tackles serious matters, but that moustache is hard to take seriously when it looks curiously like that of Borat. Maybe Sacha Baron Cohen has made a new character...the hair obsessed alpha male who goes by the name of Nicolas Cage. You never know.

'The Bad-ass Action Hero'
Why did I compare his hairstyle in Ghost Rider to that of Audrey Hepburn's? Because it looks like Nic has stolen her hairstyle. Even though he's going for a real bad-ass action go to guy, he opts for a 'classic' look. Let's just hope he doesn't steal any other classic actresses hair-do's in the near future.

'The Mullet is Back...With a Vengance'
Who actually saw Bangkok Dangerous? At Blockbuster we had to put people who rented the movie in the draw to win a mounted poster of Bangkok Dangerous. The amount of people who turned that opportunity down was priceless. I really don't envy the person who has that in their room right now. The movie saw Nic return with a mullet, but this time, it wasn't so Stallone, it was just a shorter version of John Lennon's 'do.

'The Wind-Swept Look'
Ignore his amazing facials (here in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans) and look at his hair. I think you may agree that it looks gone with the wind. Just like Zac Efron's hair...but maybe not with as much gel? By the looks of things, we know that it must be time for Nic to do a full-on Disney musical, yes?

'The Hobo'
Once I saw his appearance in The Sorcerer's Apprentice, I instantly thought his hair was made out of Brad Pitt's beard. I really hope Nic goes for this look again, because I really hate that thing that hangs of Brad Pitt's chin for no particular reason at all. Mind you, if Nic walked down the street with hair like that, I'm pretty sure people would be giving him money...I mean, it doesn't look mainstream actor like, does it?

'The Old Guy'
I actually like Nic in Kick-Ass, mainly because I insanely love the movie. I found him to be quite sweet. His hairstyle suits his character (well maybe not the Big Daddy part, but...), but I wouldn't recommend that Nic go around with a receding hairline and a little mo. He might just get mistaken for Ron Burgundy.

'That? I don't even wanna talk about that.'

What has he done? Please, Nicolas Cage, I am begging you to never try and be Matthew McConaughey. Even you are better than him. The blonde just doesn't suit you. And blonde mullet's never suit anyone. Please. Get rid of that hairstyle!

Those are most of Nic Cage's hairstyles....I hope you have gathered some inspiration and you are heading down to the hairdressers with this blog post to get yourself a Nic Cage haircut. You know you want to.

But what could possibly be next on Nic Cage's list of possible hairdo's? A bowl cut...perhaps.