let's talk about my 15 favourite films of 2018 (so far)

2018 was something of a film renaissance for me. This could come down to a few things: a) I restarted my Letterboxd account after three years forgetting about the site, which helped keep me accountable for what I was watching; b) I moved cities and suddenly had triple the access to films (Academy Cinemas in Auckland CBD is a blessing); or c) I started working in film distribution in August, which gave me even more access to (free) films and has taught me a lot about the fact that you really have to see a film in the first weekend because cinemas have to churn through the content quickly (unless you're Bohemian Rhapsody, which after eight weeks is still getting the pick of the plum session times). A bonus reason could be that I'm no longer studying film, so I feel like I can watch a film without thinking about semiotics and hidden meanings and Aristotelean rhetoric. That's bliss.

I've gone back to my classic Hollywood roots, I've watched all of the versions of A Star is Born, I've watched two too many trashy Netflix Christmas films...it has been a wildly unpredictable year as to what I liked and what I thought I would like. Weirdly, I've only given one film from 2018 a 5/5 rating (which'll obviously be number one on this list), but there's been plenty of films I wanna scream from the rooftops about.

As per, I haven't nearly seen enough (due to my own laziness or the fact that NZ won't get most 2018 films until 2020) but I kinda like this list because it isn't what I expected it to be. Nevertheless, these films deserve a little shoutout!

15. SUSPIRIA (dir. Luca Guadagnino)

I'll be the first to tell you that I wasn't completely sold with this film as a whole (I wasn't entirely sure about the Doctor's storyline) but I'm not sure that any film rocked me to my core this year the way that this one did. Guadagnino's approach to horror is intoxicating in the way that you absolutely do not want to be intoxicated, and it is glorious. Plus, as my Instagram bio says, 'i just want the best for dakota johnson's career' - this is it, chief.

14. JULIET, NAKED (dir. Jesse Peretz)

Possibly the most light-hearted film I saw at the film festival, this was the perfect antidote to a cold, rainy winter night. I love Rose Byrne as a comedic actress, and this film is yet another showcase of her talents. While it is quite a simple love story, I loved what the film had to say about mega-fans and how their idols don't necessarily live up to what they want them to be. I can see that I'll be rewatching this charmer a lot in the future.

13. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE (dir. Lynne Ramsay)

I feel like I don't really need to tell you how good this film is, because you'll already know that. Lynne Ramsay knows her way around a camera and a good story. This is an expertly crafted thriller by way of existential drama, with a strong central performance from unlikely hero Joaquin Phoenix. Was definitely worth the neck ache I got from sitting in the front row of a sold out session!

12. PRIVATE LIFE (dir. Tamara Jenkins)

Private Life was unexpectedly unlike anything that I've seen before - a very honest, yet fully fleshed out narrative about a couple's struggle to have a baby. The characters in this film are its greatest asset, as you genuinely believe the situation that they're in because of the way their anxieties are pulled into it.

11. A QUIET PLACE (dir. John Krasinki)

I'm quietly lol'n about the backlash this film is now privy to, but was there a better experience to have at the cinema this year? I don't think so. A ballsy move to make a film that relies on silence in 2018 - yet, I didn't hear a peep out of the audience during the entire film. That's rare.

10. CRAZY RICH ASIANS (dir. Jon M. Chu)

This was the only film I saw more than once in theatres this year. What can I say, your girl loves her romantic comedies with instant-rewatch-appeal, and this film is perfect for that. It is funny, it is dramatic, it made me cry a few times, and Henry Golding is...ugh, I can't with that man. If you need me, I'll be holed up on my couch rewatching this 20 times a month.

9. THE FAVOURITE (dir. Yorgos Lanthimos)

I only watched this a week ago, but the more time I've had to mull it over, the more I love it - I can envision it being a lot higher in another iteration of this list. It is probably the funniest movie I've seen all year, with vintage Lanthimos staging and a fascinating dynamic between three actresses on the top of their game - Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone. The thing I weirdly loved the most was that the men in this film are so secondary to the women, and the film has fun with that.

8. AMERICAN ANIMALS (dir. Bart Layton)

This was one of the most consistently entertaining films I saw this year. It was also a genius approach to retelling a story of people who made some poor decisions, playing with perception and form to make you both revile and root for the guys at the centre of the film.

7. MCQUEEN (dir. Ian Bonhôte and Peter Ettedgui)

Alexander McQueen had a life plagued with tragedy, which could have easily been sensationalised in a documentary focused on the drama that shaped him. McQueen, instead, uses Alexander's unique fashion designs as the driving force of this film, and weaves the key points of his life into the fabric of the film. What results is a moving, full celebration of a fashion maestro who had an incredible ability to put his life into his art.

6. WILDLIFE (dir. Paul Dano)

For some reason, I'm particularly drawn to films about failing marriages, and Wildlife does it exceptionally well. The failing marriage is that of Carey Mulligan and Jake Gyllenhaal's characters, but it is seen entirely through the perspective of their 14 year old son who is old enough to understand, but still naive enough to not fully grasp the rift between his parents. Mulligan absolutely commands this film as a difficult, impulsive woman longing for her youth.

5. SORRY TO BOTHER YOU (dir. Boots Riley)

It took a hot minute to get this showing in NZ (I bought tickets six weeks in advance for the first screening at the end of November), but it was worth the wait. This film is alive. I couldn't even explain it if I tried, as it is went to some very unexpected places while still possibly being better than I expected it to be (I had high expectations). Also, where can we sign up Lakeith Stanfield to be in everything?

4. A STAR IS BORN (dir. Bradley Cooper)

This was possibly my most anticipated film for the year, with the original 1937 film being the first film that ever made me cry - I needed a good, emotional film at this point of the year. Despite knowing exactly what was around the corner, A Star is Born still hit those emotional high notes, mostly due to a couple of stellar performances from Bradley Cooper (who I have believed in all these years and he is delivering) and Lady Gaga.

3. ROMA (dir. Alfonso Cuaron)

Every man and his dog has been hyping this movie up and I'm not about to ignite the Netflix vs. big screen experience debate but this movie. I didn't expect it to absolutely wreck me in the way it did. This is an immersive film in every sense of the world - you become embroiled in Cleo's world, which makes the final act all the more of a rollercoaster.

2. WIDOWS (dir. Steve McQueen)

A movie directed by Steve McQueen with a script he co-wrote with Gillian Flynn with a cast like that? I was sold well before the movie even hit theatres. Even though my expectations were high, I didn't expect to spend the final act with my jaw dropped. This is an expertly made, extremely well-performed (FYC Elizabeth Debicki thank you very much), tensely crafted thriller that almost doesn't let up. It's like five movies in one.

1. LEAVE NO TRACE (dir. Debra Granik)

I was fortunate enough to see Leave No Trace with a sell-out crowd at Auckland's Civic Theatre, followed by a Q&A with Debra Granik and actress Thomasin Harcourt McKenzie. I knew from the moment the film ended that I had just seen the best movie of the year. Granik's commitment to capturing the life of people on the edges of society has never been more eloquent and rich than it is here. This is a film that doesn't offer any easy answers and lets its characters go through the motions, trying to assimilate to a normal life at different paces. Leave No Trace is a striking, complex work of art that truly doesn't get the love it deserves.

So what do we think? Any recommendations for films I should catch up on? What films have you been screaming from the rooftops about?!

my favourite job was at a dvd store

I worked in two DVD stores while I was in high school and university. I'm 22, so arguably on the fringe of not being able to say 'I grew up going to the DVD store', but I'm somehow a veteran of a business very much from the yesteryear. Growing up was coloured with trailer loop discs, monthly pamphlets, the death of VHS, being angry that the DVD library only stretched so far, and seeing the business literally disintegrate before my eyes.

It is a little strange to know that just three years ago, I was spending my spare nights and Saturday mornings allowing people to take home (potentially scratched) DVDs while watching the same trailers loop around every 45 minutes. With the way things in the world are now, the whole DVD store model was never built to last - never mind the fact that when you rented out videos you had to rewind the tapes yourself. Unimaginable.

Now, when I say that my favourite job was at a DVD store, there isn't really a lot of competition - I've not had the best run with employment since both of the DVD stores I worked at closed down. I did, however, learn a lot about myself while spray and wiping discs and trying not to judge people who actually rented stuff from the R18 section.

The most inconsequential lessons first:

• If someone has racked up over $40 of late fees, you're probably never going to see that DVD again
• Bruce Willis and 50 Cent had a fairly fruitful straight-to-DVD career
• The NZ distributed copy of the movie Stolen Lives (which stars a young Jessica Chastain) spells Jon Hamm's name as 'John Hammm'
• The solution that is used in scratch removal machines (that business must have also gone down quickly) will dry your hands out like nothing else, gagging just at the thought of it
• People usually hate the movies you like and aren't afraid to tell you about it and you'll judge them based on their rental history anyway (but anything starring The Rock or literally anyone else from the Fast and Furious franchise is sure to be a bonafide hit)
• There's actually quite a few ways you can display DVDs on a shelf. My favourite is to showcase one and then stack the DVDs horizontally with the spines out. This works because a) it seems to be the least messy when customers touch it, b) you can quickly scan through the movies, and c) I could aggressively display The Prestige as being the main pick for a thriller starting with P

The more useful and applicable lessons:

• It kinda sucks when other employees don't care about the product as much as you do, but I genuinely think the people who are working in the few DVD stores that are left really actually care otherwise they wouldn't still be there
• Working sole charge shifts until 10pm actually really sucks, especially when you're a girl who needs to catch a bus at that time in a really iffy suburb (but you do learn your street smarts and how to be over protective when it comes to security)
• Being exposed to 1000s of trailers teaches you so much that you end up doing your Honours dissertation on how movie trailers actually tell you more about the industry than the movie itself - no, just me??
• I know what it looks like when a business rapidly starts declining, and there's nothing that can be done to save it. I also know what it looks like when the franchise stops supporting the business, and all of a sudden its on its own. I've seen a lot of warning signs in the DVD store business that I've seen in a couple of other jobs I've been in - which is probably a very unique perspective to have

The most important lesson of all, though, was that actually believing in the product that is paying your wages is incredibly important. For me, anyway. It sounds so simple (especially if you've been reading this blog for a while), but it has been a long hard road for me to realise that some of the issues I've had with motivation at my other jobs weren't because I was bad at them, it was because I just couldn't bring myself to really care about the endgame. I'm definitely an all or nothing kind of girl, which could be a flaw as much as it could be a strength. I didn't really realise this too much when I embarked on my post-uni hunt for jobs and it got me in a bit of a corner, but I'll be starting a new job soon that brings me back to getting movies seen by people. Jury's out on whether it'll work out, but I have a good feeling about it, which is a start.

Really, though, had I not had a DVD store in my life, I wouldn't have known I had a passion for movies that would take some pretty bizarre forms. I attribute a lot of my successes to Blockbuster and I am happy that I have a few of those life lessons under my belt at such a young age. It is weird to think that there's a small handful of these institutions left in the country (let alone the world).

But also, the one plus side of not working in a DVD store is that my DVD collection pretty much stopped growing three years ago. Which definitely came in handy when I moved 3/4 of the way up the country. Even though my collection took up a good 1/5 of our carload. How on earth did I have the money to buy all of them and can I have it back please?

Sometimes you want to watch a film but you don't feel like streaming, or watching one you own, or purchasing one, or borrowing one from a friend, or finding one on cable, or driving down to the theater, or illegally downloading one, and that's where we come in.

— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) December 12, 2017

a note on the past few years of not being here

Woo...where to even begin with this.

Hello hello, it is me - occasional tweeter, semi-aesthetic film Instagrammer, and self-professed 'former film blogging child prodigy'.

I've spent my Sunday afternoon flicking through a few of my posts that I wrote on here before I abandoned it. I'm listening to Lana Del Rey's 'Born to Die' album, which was the soundtrack to everything I wrote from September 2012 until the end of that year - I like to think that was the heyday of my blogging years, where I had so many lofty ambitions for what I could do with my passion for film and when taking a week away from the blog was akin to taking annual leave from an actual job. I'm feeling a little sad, a touch mad at myself for giving up on all of this...especially, when I was told in the aforementioned heyday of this blog that I would one day lose my passion for film and writing at some point in my life. Anyone who knows me will know that I'm unusually stubborn - if I get told that my life will go in one direction, I'll do anything in my power to steer it in the other direction.

I did, however, lose my passion for film and writing somewhere along the way. And that's why I abandoned all of this.

It has been almost four years since I wrote my last post, an unusually strong review of the film Predestination, which features that performance by Sarah Snook that I will always and forever contest as one of the best performances of this decade. In those last four years, I graduated with two degrees in media and communication. I got a scholarship to study for a semester in Finland, which changed my life in the most unexpected ways. I've travelled to over 15 other countries, where I started a new passion: travel, but more specifically, travelling to Sweden. I've become obsessed with high end makeup - when I was last on this blog, I used to only wear poorly colour matched and blended foundation, but now I spend a large chunk of my morning routine blending a smokey eye. I moved 3/4 of the way up the country after I graduated to give myself better job opportunities, but they took a little while to come (more on that later, maybe). On the more serious side, I was diagnosed with a myriad of issues with my reproductive system - mild endometriosis, PCOS and PMDD - which left me grappling with an uncertain future for my fertility when I was only 19. My long ignored mental health issues also became increasingly difficult to deal with. I started having frequent and severe panic attacks when I was 21 (although the anxiety has certainly been there since I was a child, but we just put it down to me being shy and an overthinker). For the past year and a half, I've dealt with some fairly bad bouts of depression - that's something I wish I could explain, but it isn't exactly in the past and there's no simple answer for it.

And hey, all of these life changes can be expected. Even if I tried, I couldn't be the same 17 year old girl from a small town with big dreams that I was in 2012. Things became difficult/crazy/strange/different for me - as they do for everyone - and suddenly, I couldn't sit down and write about movies. In fact, I couldn't sit down and let myself write anything that wasn't a university paper for just about four years. I wanted it to be perfect, I wanted to have the hottest take on something, I wanted to understand a film better than anyone else did. But I wasn't capable of that, so I'd stop myself before I even tried to write about XYZ film. And then when I started struggling more with my brain, I could put on a film and absolutely not take anything in. That felt horrible, because it wasn't something I was deciding to do myself - I had no control over it. There was a period of time last year where I became extremely ill, which I'm told was potentially because I was having a nervous breakdown of some kind. In that time, I couldn't go to the cinema without feeling so anxious I was extremely nauseous. Great, I thought. One of my happiest of places was being taken away by the fact that my brain and my body didn't want to play ball. The first film I was able to see in cinema again was The Disaster Artist. I initially felt so nauseous I was about to leave, but the film made me laugh so much, and then made me so hopeful, that for a moment I felt like everything was going to be normal again. In terms of me and my movies, of course.

So it has been a little strange to read through some of the stuff I previously wrote and be like 'damn, I was actually a good writer'. I never thought much of what I was doing on this blog while I was doing it. I just enjoyed having a space where I could talk about the things that mattered to me, and people who dug that would be around to push the conversation. I didn't really worry about my writing having a 'point', I was just genuinely happy to be able to share my own connection with certain films. The moment when I became too hard on myself about this little passion project seemed to signify that I had completely lost the part of myself that was dedicated to this site, and it was never going to return.

I don't think I ever truly lost that part of myself. It was just buried under a tonne of self-loathing, sadness, illness, finding new things to be passionate about, trying to find myself (which has been very difficult for me to learn that this is an on-going process and not something that can be done by reading a few Tumblr quotes), and, well, life. So, maybe, if I try this out a little more, we can see how it goes. We can see if I can stop stopping myself from doing things just because I think that they aren't the most perfect, hottest takes on something.

I've been explaining this site a lot recently for some reason, and I'm always asked why I stopped, and then I'm told that I should get back into it. If only it were that easy, I tell them. Well, I just wrote this waffle in about 45 minutes. The whole 'Born to Die' album has just ended. I know this isn't going to be the thing that everyone wants to read. But it is here, etched on my little speck of the internet that has content that spans for almost nine years. And I'm going to work on that being enough for me.

Predestination Definitely Isn't the Film You Think It Is

Chances are you haven't seen - or maybe even heard of - Predestination. I'm not entirely sure when its planned release date is for wider markets, nor am I sure why it was released in New Zealand in mid-September, smack bang in the middle of an extreme dry spell at the multiplex. If you want a quick debrief on the film: its touted as a time-travel thriller directed by the Spierig Brothers (who last directed the equally underseen 2010 vampire flick Daybreakers) and stars man of the moment Ethan Hawke and breakout star Sarah Snook. I suggest watching the trailer so it becomes a little clearer as to why this movie is a little different and surprising, as it is the complete opposite to what they're selling.

It isn't a new phenomenon to have the trailer ramp up the intensity of the action to draw in the masses, nor is it new to have a trailer totally misrepresent a movie. What happens when a movie is totally unsellable, though? Because that's what Predestination is - something that can't be easily packaged into an appealing marketing ploy. Yes, it's a time travel thriller. But it has more in common with Philomena than Looper. So take that as you will.

For a relatively short 90 minute running time, the film spends the first hour explaining the story of someone who isn't Ethan Hawke - even though he is marketed as the main star of the film (again, not unusual for marketing to play up a star who has been around since the 90s, but you'd be surprised about how long it takes for his character to become anything important). Instead, we focus on the 'Unmarried Mother', played by Sarah Snook, who's story takes centre stage in the film and surprisingly isn't about time travel at all. The last half an hour finally gets to the time travel stuff you were wondering about originally, and all of a sudden the film transcends into a Looper-like, spirally thriller that eventuates into something that is a little predictable. You could say that the element of time travel - or just time itself (similar to what Interstellar did) - does gel together both of the different plots/different films and kind of makes it into something that undoes the cynicism the film begins with. It has been a little while since I saw it, but all I can remember saying about the film directly after walking out of the theatre was that it was 'a big ideas film.' Most of them centre around the character of the Unmarried Mother, some of them play with time, along with an element of revenge that is used to propel the plot. You could say that the film punches above its weight in its short running time, but it also manages to feel a lot longer than the 90 minutes. That's not to say that it is boring, it is just so unexpectedly strange.

The problem with the film isn't that it was marketed to be something that it wasn't. It certainly isn't that the film is completely unsellable from a marketing point of view. I just think this film is an interesting experiment on audience expectations. Time travel films usually always end up the same - and yes, this film does wind up being the same by the end - and Predestination throws a new element (or character) into the mix brings her centre stage. It probably wouldn't have worked had it not been for the masterful performance by Sarah Snook, who crafts such an intricately multi-faceted character with ease. Looking for that apparently elusive 'well-written female character'? Look no further than this, and be amazed by the stellar work by Snook. It's a performance so other-worldly that it doesn't feel like it belongs in a supposed simple film about time travel. Looking back on it, this highlighted again how I felt about the strangeness of this film. It is so unique, only to fall back into something so predictable. It is so close to being something great before it does a 180-degree flip into the same paradoxical loop of time travel tropes. I'd say that Predestination is an interesting experiment in genre-bending. It mostly works. But its willingness to easily fall into normal audience expectations after completely shattering them was a little disappointing.

So yes - I'm not exactly sure of how to easily sum up Predestination for an Ethan Hawke fan or someone looking for Looper 2.0 or anyone who wants to see some classic stylish gun-toting. In fact, I'm not sure of how I could sum up Predestination for anyone. Which I guess means that Predestination was pretty successful considering most films these days can be summed up by a simple sentence.

I Saw Interstellar, I am a Nolan Fan, It Is Not Perfect (and that's okay)

Of course, if you've been around these parts for a little while, you'll know that I've been a pretty huge Christopher Nolan fan since 2010. It has reached some pretty fanatical heights (why yes I do own two copies of Memento, a copy of the Inception shooting script and bought a special collectors edition of The Dark Knight Rises that came with little figurines), I may call him God from time to time and I do get exceptionally excited whenever I hear his name mentioned. So of course, once I heard he was doing a film with my favourite person ever Jessica Chastain, along with my other favourites Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway, I was very excited. Levels of excitement included being a countdown for the film from April 6th, using procrastination time to watch the trailers over and over again and possibly just about amputating my boyfriend's hand whenever the trailer came on before the movies we saw at the cinemas.

You'd be expecting me to hightail into this movie with the "Nolan is God, he can do know wrong, #Nolanfangirl" attitude.

Thing is, Interstellar is not perfect. And that's okay.

I have a feeling there'll be a lot of talk about Interstellar over the next few days, so I'll keep this a little brief. I'd have to give this another watch to fully absorb it, particularly in the Xtremescreen format instead of just the normal cinema viewing (damn you, exams). But yes, everything you've heard about the technological achievements of this film are true - this film is probably one of the greatest visual experiences I have ever had. Nolan's new teaming with cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (the guy behind the incredible cinematography of Let the Right One In, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and Her) has produced some pretty incredible results, giving this film this weird blend of independent sensibilities - think Memento-era Nolan, with the polished pride of something like Inception. The visual effects work on the space scenes, along with the real locations used to represent the other planets are all absolutely perfect.

In terms of being compared to Nolan's other work - and of course, I'll have to give it another watch considering I've seen each of his films at least three times, with The Dark Knight being viewed over 25 times - I wouldn't say that this is one of his best. It lacks the completed narrative of Memento (and to be honest, I would take a lot for that film to be topped for me), the general magic of The Dark Knight and the cleanness of Inception. I'd currently place it somewhere in between The Prestige and The Dark Knight Rises if I were ranking his films, but since it is a little too early to tell, here's what I will say: Interstellar is in no way like any of his other films. Yet, in saying that, it isn't like he is departing from the style of anything he's previously done - it just doesn't neatly fit with the rest of his trajectory. Or any cinematic trajectory for that matter. The thing that stands out most about Interstellar is that it shows incomparable ambition that is precisely the reason why I love film so much.

Let's just take a second to appreciate how damn ambitious Interstellar is and for that reason alone it should be counted as one of the greats. Every single frame is dripping with ambition. Nolan has brought out everything in full force, and where we think that he'll step back in fear of going too far, he chooses to go further. He goes much further with this film than what is generally 'required' by a film, and maybe that won't be to everyone's taste but I was utterly in awe of what he was doing. The emotional strain of this film is absolutely beautiful, mostly due to the wonderful performances by Matthew McConaughey along with Mackenzie Foy and Jessica Chastain playing Murph at different ages. Apparently the scientific stuff was pretty interesting, but even though I didn't really understand some of it, it was still broken down in such a way that it was easy to swallow.

Again, the film isn't perfect - it is hard to pinpoint reasons why, but it is so very close to being a masterpiece. The really fanatical Nolan fanboys will tell you this movie is resoundingly perfect, and they could be right. The really fanatical Nolan haters will tell you that it is overlong and silly, and they could be right too. Even though I've been hyped up for this film for months, I am hesitant to say whether it lived up to my expectations, but I don't think they ever extended beyond me being generally excited to see my favourite actress in a film by my favourite director. It is going to generate some interesting discussion by being a bit divisive - and I think that's something we're lacking a little these days with films either being "good enough", "MASTERPIECE (that we'll inevitably forget about anyway)" or "wow that sucked". Above all, I'm still floored by the ambition and courage of this movie, but it isn't perfect by any means. And you know what? I'm not even disappointed that it wasn't perfect. I'm not even disappointed that it doesn't rank high among Nolan's best. I'm not even disappointed after months of waiting, it didn't completely change my world in a way that some of Nolan's films have. I'm grateful that it reminded me of love these stupid little things called film and want to make a career out of them - Interstellar is direct proof of how much ambition can be put into them.

If you really need proof of just how much I was affected by this film, I cried quite profusely four separate times during the film, characteristically cried at the sight of Christopher Nolan's name, then cried for a full fifteen minutes after the film. I'd like to say that I've grown out of Nolan's films emotionally wrecking me, but I haven't.

Whiplash, or: How a Movie About Drumming is Possibly the Scariest Movie of 2014

There's a scene in Whiplash where Andrew (Miles Teller, gradually building up a pretty great filmography with his best work so far) tells his would-be girlfriend Nicole (Melissa Benoist) that he can't date her because he is too focused on his drumming. He refuses to not only allow himself to resent her for wanting to interrupt this focus, but also to stop her for resenting him because she'll only be second best. He reasons that he is doing this not because he wants to be "great", instead wanting to be "one of the greats."

There was something so strange about this scene. At the beginning of the film, Andrew coyly asked Nicole out after months of going to the cinema where she worked and thinking he might have a shot with her. This happens midway through the film, where Nicole could be the only really positive connection (besides his father) he has in life, and yet he chooses to pursue his dreams of being one of the greats. Usually, we'll have a love interest helping the wannabe hero on his way, but the film doesn't have time to waste on human connections. It only has time to spare to tell a story of blood, sweat and tears.

No, this isn't some action/thriller a la The Equalizer. Instead, this is a drama about a first-year student at one of the top music schools in America hoping to achieve his dreams and aspirations of being the next big thing in drumming. Stripped away of a love interest, a highly dramatised back story explaining why Andrew must achieve his dream and a tear-filled speech about how he'll overcome adversity, this film leaves us with the raw, unflinching core of achieving something great: perseverance. This portrait of perseverance is splattered with hands covered in blood and blistered and sweat dripping off cymbals, and also the dark and intimidating figure of Terence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons, who is terrifying and certainly deserves the Oscar buzz), a music instructor who will stop at nothing to achieve absolute perfection.

Whiplash is probably more terrifying and intense than your average horror fare. Who knew that a film about a guy drumming could have you coming out the other side feeling exhausted and hoping that your hands haven't spontaneously grown blisters like the ones that Andrew deals with. What you really come away with, though, is questioning what can truly make someone "one of the greats". We now live in a society where there are plenty of inspirational quotes to keep you going through life, all with the same kind of message: "just do it, don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams, you can do it no matter what." Whiplash presents a message that is somewhat the antithesis of that, showing a more discouraging side to achieving the big dream, mostly in the form of Fletcher. This is a guy who knows that musical perfection can exist out there, but this is only found by exceeding expectations. He isn't the guy that will tell you to practice until you physically can't take it any more, he's more interested in destroying you emotionally to see if you still want your dream.

The film begs the question: why would anyone keep going under the mentorship of Fletcher? He hurls chairs at Andrew while he's drumming, uses Andrew's own personal problems against him, he forces three drummers to drum non-stop for hours on end in order to find a tempo that seems unachievable. You can look at it this way: most of us would just give up and walk away, knowing that Fletcher's kind of discouragement is probably correct and maybe you're in the wrong career. Andrew sees Fletcher as a villain to conquer, perhaps as a human form of his own self-loathing. Andrew is driven to hell and back by Fletcher. Does it make him a better drummer? Maybe. Does it make him better as a person? No. Fletcher is the thing that Andrew must overcome, and is the real thing that keeps Andrew going. For that reason, the film is pretty conventional in its narrative, being a simple tale of the villain that must be overcome by the hero. Through the drumming context though, the film has a more unconventional way of telling an age old story.

Yet, the film carries a pretty heavy message. Andrew is so young and embarks on his new college life with plenty of ambition to be amazing, which I find is something that is severely lacking in people my age. This is a time when you're supposed to have lots of friends and get the girls and have fun, but Andrew is the person who ditches his one human connection for practising the drums into the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps he has a little too much of that fresh-faced optimism that people his age have, and that makes him such an easy target for Fletcher. But you have to wonder what writer/director Damien Chazelle is really trying to say about the power of being "one of the greats", particularly in the music industry, in times like these when anybody can become famous on YouTube or on any one of the many talent shows. Someone as young as Andrew isn't supposed to be great because he hasn't had a lot of experience, but with someone as discouraging as Fletcher, why would you want to get any more experience? Andrew doesn't seem to be a particularly great drummer at the beginning and is more in tune with his dreams rather than his raw talent, so will practising for hours on end help him achieve his dream or does he just lack the talent? What is it that makes someone one of the greats? Fletcher seems to think he knows, Andrew thinks that he has what it takes. The blood, sweat and tears are certainly indicative of Andrew earning his right to say "ya know what? I'm trying really hard and I'm putting in the effort to become great." And yes, we as an audience want to give him a gold star and yell at Fletcher for being too harsh on him. Because that's the society that we've become: one obsessed with rewarding people for looking the part and putting their participation flag up, instead of going beyond expectations.

I think what Chazelle is trying to say with Whiplash is that we're a society who barely allows someone to dream enough to become one of the greats, and because just being is enough. The ones who genuinely try, like Andrew, are destined to be discouraged by people like Fletcher who won't settle for enough in a society where you barely need to even be enough. He then punishes Andrew - who thinks he's enough - to the point where he longer wants to be any more than enough. Though the film doesn't stake a claim in showing how those who aim low will always succeed, it does show that those who aim high and destined to have a tougher time.

And that's what makes Whiplash possibly one of the scariest movies of 2014: why should my generation even bother having ambition or value a hard-working ethic? Why try too hard if it has little gain? Will we even be capable of producing "one of the greats"?

Pretty scary stuff.

Five Years Ago Today I Started This Blog (and now a soppy post ensues)

So here we are, at the five year anniversary of this little corner of the web. It is weird to think of this time five years ago where I would have been furiously tapping away at the big keys of my Dad's desktop PC to create my paragraph-long thinkpiece on Let the Right One In. Okay, so thinkpiece is a loose term for this very vague review. The ironic thing is, I wrote that review in my first year of high school. Just recently, I wrote an essay on the same film for my first year of university (which got an A, so apparently I'm smart). So why's this important?

Usually, I'd have some post to celebrate an anniversary with all of these thank yous and lists of movies that have meant a lot during the years. And believe me, I've thought about this five year anniversary and what I'd do for it for the last couple of years. But I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this blog has been a great way to track the way I've grown up. Through my changing movie tastes (hello not watching Hannah Montana: The Movie for 'fun') to the way my writing has developed to how my life went through all of these strange milestones. It was great for those formative high school years, figuring out all those weird questions of "who am I, what am I doing, what will I choose as my career when I can't even decide to have for breakfast this morning?"

Admittedly, this year has been a strange one where everything has changed in so many ways. Gone are the days of having to go 45 minutes to get to a cinema and instead I've been to the cinemas 37 times this year (so almost once a week). I've gone from only ever living in three different houses in my life to living in four different places in one year. I've learnt about the perils of referencing (can't we all just use one referencing style instead of jamming MLA, Harvard, APA and Chicago into one semester?!), how to put up with constant abuse from the engineers about the fact that my Arts degree 'will not get me a job', the weird feeling of being in a relationship with someone who is too good to be true. So while my blog has been the perfect thing through a whole lot of transitions, it hasn't been all that present this year as I've been making some of the biggest transitions in my life.

And believe me, it isn't like I haven't tried. I've written so many drafts for posts and just got to the point where it no longer makes sense, so I delete it. I would love to throw my hat into the rather expansive ring of thinkpieces about Gone Girl, but a) I'd just be fangirling over how perfect Rosamund Pike was and how David Fincher's direction was ON POINT, b) I'm still feeling guilty over dragging my boyfriend to see it twice and c) there's so much discussion on it, where do I even begin? I would love to tell y'all about how my life did not turn out like Before Sunrise or The Spectacular Now (actually, it kinda did...). I would love to write another post on how much I love Shame or how much I want Interstellar to be in my life right now or how much The Equalizer rubbed me up the wrong way.

Problem is, I don't. I'll always look back to posts I wrote in 2011/2012 and most likely think "damn, I was such a good writer, what happened?" Thing is, I'm not the same person I was back then. The blogging world is not the same sanctuary it was then. I used to be very clear about what I wanted this blog to be like when I wasn't so sure of what I wanted to do with my own life. I've kinda lost that now.

This makes it sound like I will finally cut the cords on this wee high school project, but that's something I don't really wish to do. Especially considering my degree is really all about writing and I'm happiest when I'm writing, this is a good little haven to come back to. It just might be that I'm ready to take a new direction and stop wishing that I could be at the same stage of blogging that I have been through the past five years. Yes, it is a great thing that I have an online record of how much I've changed throughout the years. And yes, it is a great thing that I managed to (loosely) keep up with it for five whole years. So even though this seems like I'm moving on, let's just see it as moving forward.

(allow for soppy story to ensue)

Through going to the cinemas so many times this year, it has easily become my absolute favourite thing to do. I admit to still looking up at the light coming from the projector like I used to do as a kid, loving the waft of buttery popcorn smell you get as you come up the escalator, and being so comfortable in the warmth of the glow from the screen. I've seen some bad films this year, and I've seen some great ones (behold the wonder that is Boyhood), but no matter what film it is, I always love this stuff. Especially having someone to share it with now. And something that I've found while being at university is that passion does matter and passion is the only thing that'll get you through. So of course, I'd hate to lose this little corner of the internet that allows to me to express my passion. I've been kind of awful at it in the last few months, and I may continue to be awful at it, but I'll still be here in some small way.

So finally, I'd like to thank the people who have come and gone or stayed at some stage through the past five years. It has been a great time growing up with you guys, and I look forward to sharing some more thinklings and discussions with you.

And if I don't, someone just kick me up the butt for some encouragement, huh?

19th Birthday Post - My Favourite Films About Growing Up That I Watched While Growing Up

This is a really dark birthday candle picture but I think it's pretty and there's no 19th birthday photos anyway

Hi, I know, two posts in one week...damn the world must be headed for an apocalypse or something. Rather, it is my 19th birthday tomorrow. Which is interesting because I feel absolutely no excitement for this new age because it doesn't really mean anything. It is like being 17 - that awkward gap between sweet 16 and the big 18. So when it came time for me to think about doing a birthday post, I really didn't have anything to draw on because there's no such thing as R19 movies here (although there probably would be, considering that New Zealand's rating system is just ridiculous) and I've already "grown up" since I have to pay full adult price for everything now.

Seriously, it sucks having to draw my attention away from the kids menu at restaurants because I'm an adult so I have to get steak.

In my thinking, though, I came to the realisation that even though 19 isn't a particularly special milestone age, this is the first birthday in my "new life", you could say. Gone are the days of growing up in a small town, since now I've lived in Christchurch for over six months and passed my first semester of university. I no longer have to go grocery shopping with mum but I can buy chocolate whenever I want which is honestly the best part of growing up. Oh, and did I mention that I have a cinema five minutes bus ride away, with three others within a half an hour radius? If that's not cool, then I don't know what is.

In a way, 19 is a pretty important age to be. Whereas 18 is the age where you get slapped with the label "grown up", whether you're ready or not, by the time you're 19 you've done a spectacular amount of growing up. Well, I guess that's just how I feel now since a lot has changed since I turned 18 (I say this every year, but I could probably say now that just about every aspect of my life is so different from what it was last year). In celebration of that fact, here's a whole lot of films that taught me a bit about growing up while I was growing up. Don't expect John Hughes films (don't get me wrong, they had their influence), but more a bunch of films that came out at vital times in my life and gave me a bit of perspective. And yeah, things get mushy.

An Education - Earlier this year I outlined my intense love for this film, mainly because it shows the struggles of living up to unreasonable expectations in every way possible. I've always found myself to be a little bit of a Jenny, trying my best to do things that I don't really care for, working hard but hoping that there'll be a little bit of fun around the corner, and maybe being a little too 'pretentious' for my age (now I'm grown up and living with a whole lot of engineers, I'm just known as the weird Arts degree student). Just as the title suggests, it has always been a film that I go back to get an education, whether it be about getting a "real" education or an education from "the university of life".

NZFF Mini-Reviews: Frank, Locke, Maps to the Stars, Boyhood

Good things about going to university: having a cinema about five minutes away instead of 45 minutes away. Bad things about university: everything had to be due on the week when the New Zealand International Film Festival hit town, but through some pretty intense time management skills gained last year I managed to get everything done while escaping to the cinemas on four different occasions. Which, of course, is better than having to very selectively choose one film to beg my parents to drive me over for. Still, some pretty selective choosing went on here and I ended up seeing a very interesting selection of films: Frank, Locke, Maps to the Stars and Boyhood. I won't bore you with too many more details, so here's what I thought about them here:

I must admit, it has been a little while since a film really 'clicked' for me. Not really a fault of all the films I've been watching, it has just been a little hard for me to really escape into a film. Frank was the one that changed it all, though. To be honest, I thought it was going to be a little jarring watching a film where Michael Fassbender has a giant head over his head, but it really didn't take anything way from his performance. He was so fascinating to watch, particularly in the film's final act. However, you can tell that he really let himself go when he was wearing the mask, owning his craziness which fit in perfectly with the way the film unfolds.
The film zips and zaps from one extreme to the other with dizzying speed, becoming one of the darkest comedies I've seen in quite some time. It is made of all the tropes that would make your typical band road movie, but it is also a pretty interesting look at the connection between creativity and madness. While many have called out the fact that having the film centred on plain, wannabe musician Jon (played by the charming Domhall Gleeson who should probably be in everything), I thought it was a great way of grounding the material and always keeping the film in check. It isn't just Frank who is the eccentric one - his entire band is filled up with some pretty crazy characters who don't seem to be filtered. Jon provides a lens for keeping the film centred, and also, his reliance on social media is one of the better depictions I've seen of the internet in film (not sure why, but everyone always manages to get it wrong).
Basically, I had a really good time with Frank. It was so dark in some places, so light in other places, and just generally a pretty strange film that wore its heart on its sleeve. And again: Michael Fassbender is everything. Best performance from him I've seen this side of Shame, I'd say.

Can We Take a Moment to Remember How Blue Valentine is Still Devastating?

Few spoilers in this post, but I imagine most of you should have seen it back in 2011. If you haven't, grab the tissues and come back later.

Did you know that the most fun thing you can do on a Sunday afternoon before you go to work is rewatch Blue Valentine and spend a good 20 minutes crying over it?

Didn't know that valuable information? Well I can 100% confirm that while rewatching Blue Valentine may not be the most happy experience, it is an experience nonetheless.

A little bit of context: I first watched Blue Valentine when it first came out on DVD in July 2011, when I was a tiny 15 year old enjoying the last days of illegally watching R16s. I have not been able to go back to it since. Until there came a Sunday when I thought: "I've got a couple of hours to kill, let's watch the most depressing film in my collection this side of Revolutionary Road."

Apparently I didn't really remember the magnitude of absolute earth-shattering devastation that this film brought to my world. Or I was watching it with different eyes when I was 15. But holy heck is this film depressing.

One thing that really took me by surprise this time around was the way Derek Cianfrance loves playing with his narratives. One of my favourite films from last year was his sophomore effort The Place Beyond the Pines. Here was a film that easily could have been split into three parts, yet he expanded his narrative beyond what he could have. He didn't only show the cause, but also showed the effect. I talk about this a lot more in my review of the film from last year, but to put it simply: I really admire Cianfrance's ambition. We're too often brushing simple narrative ambition under the rug for the more complex, confusing narratives drawing in a plethora of realms (however, that does make for some damn good cinema when it's done right).

Late-ish 2013 Retrospective: Top 20 Best Films

So, here it is. 2013 was a damn good year for films if I do say so myself. It was hard reducing this list down to just 20, because any one of my honourable mentions would have had a welcome place in my list. 2013 had some game-changers (in more ways than one), some rule-breakers, and some life-changers. There were plenty of films that came out that you could just tell would live on into the future. We had Alfonso Cuaron defying the restrictions of cinema, Spike Jonze defeating every other portrayal of love in cinematic history, and Leonardo DiCaprio destroying any notion that he's not a proper actor with a singular Quaalude-induced scene. What a time to be alive.

Alas, let's close the book on 2013 before we close the book on May 2014. Because there's no time like the present...

Honourable Mentions: Spring Breakers, What Maisie Knew, Pain & Gain, The Bling Ring, This is the End, Fruitvale Station, Don Jon, Rush, Dallas Buyers Club, Drinking Buddies, Inside Llewyn Davis, Philomena, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Frozen.

"Every thing you do, someone out there can see."

Here's one of these films that slips so far under the radar that it is pretty much criminal. This film should be taught in schools. Sure, it gets extremely melodramatic in some places, but the general message behind it is about the only message we've desperately needed a film to cover. Not to mention it has some fantastic performances from Andrea Riseborough, Jason Bateman, Jonah Bobo, Alexander Skarsgard and Paula Patton. Very, very impressive.

"I think anybody who falls in love is a freak. It's a crazy thing to do. It's kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity."

Just as Disconnect shows the dangers of the internet, Her shows the good things it could be capable of in the future...which is also doubled with the bad. This isn't really a film about a guy falling in love with his computer, but about love itself. As I said in my director's post, it was a damn brave film for Spike Jonze to make, and possibly one of the more realistic portrayals of love on film in recent times. Oh, and Scarlett Johansson. That's all.

Late-ish 2013 Retrospective: Top 10 Directors

Again, I don't have a huge disclaimer to put here. I know it's May, I know it's late, but hey, it is never too late to honour some pretty awesome directors, is it?

Honourable Mentions: Steven Soderbergh - Side Effects, The Coen Brothers - Inside Llewyn Davis, David Lowery - Ain't Them Bodies Saints, Abdellatif Kechiche - Blue is the Warmest Colour, Ron Howard - Rush, Lake Bell - In a World..., Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Don Jon, Ryan Coogler - Fruitvale Station, Asghar Farhadi - The Past, Richard Linklater - Before Midnight, Harmony Korine - Spring Breakers.

10. Spike Jonze - Her
Her is an incredibly brave film. Take it from one of the film's pivotal lines about love: "it's like a socially acceptable form of insanity." The way that the film ruminates on love is so beautiful, as opposed to sugar coating everything and having couples running of into sunsets and that kind of gooey stuff. Perhaps that's all because this is a film about a man having a relationship with his computer. Which is quite strange (it's quite hard to sell this movie to my friends), but Jonze does it in such a way that it feels completely natural. Not to mention, the futuristic world he creates is definitely a world that I could see actually happening, thanks to Jonze not over-saturating the film with ludicrous visions of the future. Even though the movie left me feeling extremely empty for a little while, this is a unique kind of beauty that I wish we could see more of.

9. Denis Villeneuve - Prisoners
Fun fact: throughout many lines of ancestry, it's possible that in some way I'm related to this guy (I would have even had his last name once upon a time, which would have been nice). If that somehow means that I have an ounce of his talent, that would be fantastic. Even though I haven't seen Incendies since it first came out about two and a half years ago, it is still engrained in my brain - it's so hard to shake the deliberately cold, striking way the film was made. It's the same with Prisoners, which Villeneuve could make with a bigger budget, bigger names, and the magic touch of Roger Deakins behind the camera. Prisoners is a masterful, slow burning thriller that mixes the suspense of detective work with the emotional trauma created within the families. It's a puzzle that doesn't seem willing to be solved, but it is made in such a way that I wasn't sure if I ever did want it to be solved. Villeneuve is always in control of his material. I haven't seen Enemy yet (because who knows if it will even get a release here), but how crazy is it that he managed to make those two films in the same year? And here comes my trademark saying: I want to be him.

Late-Ish 2013 Retrospective: Top 15 Male Performances

More 2013 retrospective goodness just to remind you that 2013 happened and 2013 was great! Don't really need to waste a whole lot of time explaining this, so here are my favourite male performances from last year...

Honourable Mentions: Bradley Cooper - American Hustle, Bradley Cooper - The Place Beyond the Pines, Ryan Gosling - The Place Beyond the Pines, Dane DeHaan - The Place Beyond the Pines, Joaquin Phoenix - Her, Steve Coogan - Philomena, Dane DeHaan - Kill Your Darlings, James Gandolfini - Enough Said, Miles Teller - The Spectacular Now, Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club, Hugh Jackman - Prisoners, Daniel Bruhl - Rush, Michael B. Jordan - Fruitvale Station, Michael Douglas - Behind the Candelabra, Matt Damon - Behind the Candelabra, Leonardo DiCaprio - The Great Gatsby, James Franco - Spring Breakers, Jude Law - Side Effects, Jonah Bobo - Disconnect.

15. Dwayne Johnson as Paul Doyle in Pain & Gain
Let me preface this by saying that Dwayne Johnson may be my least favourite working actor. That's probably because I can't stand the fact that every single movie he is in, whether it is a cinema release or a straight-to-DVD release, will always rent in truckloads. Sad thing is that they're all exactly the same. I surprisingly dug Pain & Gain a lot against all odds (the Johnson/Mark Wahlberg/Michael Bay factor), but I was most surprised by Johnson's performance. He was obviously taking the piss out of his usual macho beef-cake persona, and in an alternate universe, he would be the perfect buff brother of Jordan Belfort who was nowhere near as smart as him.

14. Jake Gyllenhaal as Detective Loki in Prisoners
We never really know a lot about Detective Loki. We're just offered insights into his existence. I think that's what I admire most about any film who can do it right: a script which only offers insights into a character's existence instead of an outpouring of their life, and an actor who can build that existence into something truly believable. Gyllenhaal hits all the right notes, even when the film isn't necessarily concerned with him. It's all in the scene where he eats this Thanksgiving dinner at a diner alone.

Late-Ish 2013 Retrospective: Top 15 Female Performances

If you've been following ze blog for a few years, you know that I don't deal well with watching movies from the year before until we're halfway through the next year. Hence my top lists of 2011 happening in July 2012 and my top lists of 2012 happening in August 2013. However, this year has been kinda different: I spent a lot more time watching good stuff (because I had so little time I didn't want to waste it) and I moved to a place with a cinema three months ago which meant I could catch up with a lot more. I haven't seen films like Nebraska, Saving Mr Banks or August: Osage County, but I'm pretty confident with the lists I have at the moment. So over the next few days/weeks/whenever I sit down at my laptop and actually blog for once, I'll be unleashing my top lists of 2013, beginning with my Top 15 Female Performances. Usually I don't go for 15 in the list, but there was so much goodness in 2013 that I didn't want anyone to miss out. People still missed out though. Which sucks, but hey, yay for cinema! 

Honourable mentions: Berenice Bejo - The Past, Amy Adams - Her, Amy Adams - American Hustle, Jennifer Lawrence - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Jena Malone - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Judi Dench - Philomena, Sarah Paulson - 12 Years a Slave, Carey Mulligan - Inside Llewyn Davis, Brie Larson - The Spectacular Now, Olivia Wilde - Drinking Buddies, Lake Bell - In a World..., Amanda Seyfried - Lovelace, Scarlett Johansson - Don Jon, Melonie Diaz - Fruitvale Station, Octavia Spencer - Fruitvale Station, Onata Aprile - What Maisie Knew, Greta Gerwig - Frances Ha.

15. Andrea Riseborough as Nina Dunham in Disconnect

Disconnect is one of those films that works well mostly on the basis of the solid acting from an ensemble cast that includes Jason Bateman, Paula Patton, Alexander Skarsgard and Michael Nyqvist, but no one stands out as much as Andrea Riseborough. I've long been a fan of Andrea's work since her brief role in the oft-forgotten Never Let Me Go, and she's pulled in some great work since in otherwise dull films like W.E. and Shadow Dancer. In Disconnect, though, she plays the part of an over-ambitious news reporter terrifyingly well, with the role fitting into her oeuvre perfectly - does she have one of the most underrated filmographies ever? She literally walks into this film and lights up the screen, even as her character goes through some pretty dark stuff. And yet, even as it becomes apparent that perhaps her character's storyline isn't the most exciting in the multi-stranded plot, she makes the plot last until the very end. Seriously, someone needs to line her and Rosamund Pike up and get them some great roles.

14. Sally Hawkins as Ginger in Blue Jasmine

Another ever-dependable performer, and definitely someone who turns a relatively thin role into a layered, beautiful performance. Blue Jasmine works on the merits of its pairing of Cate Blanchett and Sally Hawkins, who compliment each other in a way that I couldn't imagine any other actresses doing a better job of. Ginger is fiery, flighty, the exact opposite to Jasmine, and Sally is able to nail every single thing about the character that makes her different from Jasmine.

10 Years of Mean Girls

No, I didn't see Mean Girls 10 years ago when it first came out. I do remember it popping up in all of the little pre-tween magazines that I used to hoard, but I never saw it until it popped up on TV one day in 2007. I recorded it off the TV on one of those gigantic fossils we used to call videotapes. Unfortunately, the first three minutes cut out of my recording, so I never saw those first three minutes until I bought it on DVD a year later. Yet, I didn't need those three minutes. Mean Girls was, and forever will be, my favourite high school comedy of all time. Hell, probably even my favourite comedy of all time. Why?

Because 7 years since I first saw it, I'm pretty positive there hasn't been a day go by that I haven't quoted it in some way. Like seriously, there is a quote for every life situation:

When someone does well with something: "You go, Glen Coco!"

When someone asks someone else why they're white: "Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."

When you're a mother: "I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom."

When it's raining: "There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!"

When you don't want to go out with someone: "I can't go out *fake coughs* I'm sick."

When someone annoys you: "Boo, you whore."

Possible valedictory speech: "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me...but I can't help it that I'm so popular."

When needing to do a rap: "Yo yo yo all you sucker MC's ain't got nothing on me! From my grades, to my lines you can't touch Kevin G! I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor! The G's silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!"

Literally the entire script is quotable. The entire thing.