My Movie Biography: Where It's At Now in 2012

(2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011) Well, we're heading into the home stretch now. Tomorrow is the big day. Just to let you know, you will probably have trouble visiting the site for a while. Don't worry, (fingers crossed) everything goes fine and I'll be back up and running this time tomorrow. Hope to see you there!  Anyway, 2012 in my movie biography...

• By some small coincidence, all of the movies I got at one time from Fatso were by Roman Polanski. So I started off the year with Chinatown, Repulsion and Rosemary's Baby. That was...fun.
• I saw The Muppets and The Adventures of Tintin on the same day. I felt so awkward being this 16 year old all alone in cinemas filled with children. Funnily enough, I preferred Tintin a lot more, but now The Muppets is pretty much my go-to movie when I want to feel better about life.
• I finally got out of NZ! My father and I went to Melbourne, Australia for a week and that was exciting. I was pretty excited for the plane trip, because Drive was playing on the plane and I hadn't seen it because it was an R18. I did really like it when I saw it, but I completely forgot about the fact that it was censored, so I was left wondering what was so R18 about it. Then I looked it up on the internet and apparently there were 70 swearwords in it, but I hadn't heard any of them. When I got the film on DVD, I finally embraced it and it became my second favourite movie of 2011. While I was in Melbourne I bought a crapload of movies because they had everything that I'd been looking for. And there's like, five JB Hi-Fi's in the city, so I was in heaven. Also heavenly was the Pancake Parlour, but that's another story. I also went to the cinemas a fair bit because I wanted to escape the heat. I only really wanted to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, because I thought it was going to be an R18 in NZ and it was only an MA15+ in Australia. I was so excited to be all rebellious. Then I got back to NZ and I found out that it was only an R16. Which was somewhat disappointing. I also saw The Descendants and Hugo just because I could. I really miss Melbourne. It was such a nice place. One day I hope to go back.
• While I wasn't as excited for the Oscars as much as I was last year (I blame the fact that I hadn't watched many of the movies), I still thought it was a good idea to wake up at 3am and watch the Oscar nominations for fun. It wasn't all that fun until I saw that Rooney Mara got nominated, in which case I let out this weird squeal that woke up everyone in the house. I stayed up until at least 4.30am ranting with people on Facebook about them. Which probably wasn't the best idea, because once the morning hit we were going to Palmerston North to watch War Horse. It didn't affect the experience. I still spent the entire film crying my eyes out. And when I say the "entire film", I mean the entire bloody thing. As soon as I saw that horse I was in tears.

Lame Trailer Clichés: Dramatic Scenes Involving Glasses

Okay, I don't have glasses, but I've always thought that if you needed glasses it may be better if you keep them on while you look at something amazing. Because then, you know, you may be able to see what is so amazing. But not in movies, no. A sign of something being a deeply dramatic moment is shown by the character taking off their glasses to take off the amazing sight they're about to behold. If my idea of having glasses is right, that sight may be a little blurred. To heighten the drama, these scenes are planted into the trailer, just to make things extra exciting. For example:

We see just how buff little old Steve Rogers has become in Captain America...

Okay, I know they're only sunglasses, but Howard Stark is threatening his eyes with the bright radiance coming off Cap's pecs...

This guy has the right idea, though. He thought he might take off his glasses too, but then he though "nah, I actually wanna see my handiwork". Smart guy...

AAN: Oscar Predictions - the 'Bests' and Visuals

Welcome to part two of my official Oscar predictions, the big one that this 2012 series of Annual Awards Nerdism has come down to. Tonight, I'll be looking at the 'Bests' (Best Animated Feature Film of the Year, Best Foreign Language Film of the Year, Best Documentary - Features) and the Visuals (Best Achievement in Cinematography, Best Achievement in Editing, Best Achievement in Visual Effects). NOTE: I'm not going to attempt the awards for the Shorts because I'll end up looking like a fool.
PAST PREDICTIONS: Sound and Design

Just in case you can't remember what Fassy, Loki and Owen are used for in the prediction process, here's a quick reminder:
Happy Fassy - Who I want to win. Doesn't mean that they will win, though.
Lowkey Loki - Who I think will win. The only prediction of mine that really matters.
Overwhelmed Owen - The longshot. If this wins, it will be stranger than the Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Best Picture nomination.

The 'Bests' Awards

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

A Cat in Paris / Chico and Rita / Kung Fu Panda 2 / Puss in Boots / Rango

I've already talked out my feelings about this category, so go here for more. We all know that Rango is going to win, though.

Evil Shall with Evil be Expelled.

Film: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Year: 2011
Director: David Fincher
Written by: Steve Zallian
Starring: Rooney Mara, Daniel Craig, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgård, Robin Wright, Joely Richardson, Yorick van Wageningen, Goran Visnjic, Steven Berkoff, Geraldine James. 
Running time: 158 min.
This is out in New Zealand cinemas on January 26th.

It is a tough life being a remake. Moreso if it is a Hollywood remake. There are the endless comparisons to the original. Then there are the differences between the two: if it is too different, people hate it; if it is shot for shot, people also hate it. And if Hollywood remakes a foreign film, then the makers get slammed for encouraging the lazy people who can’t be bothered reading subtitles. Yes, usually remakes don’t fare too well, but there is the occasional exception. David Fincher’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is one such example of that. However, there is an exception to that exception: Fincher has made it very clear that his version isn’t a remake of the 2009 Swedish hit. Instead, it is an adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s wildly popular posthumous novel. A novel which has sold more copies than The Very Hungry Caterpillar. When you put things into perspective, a lot of people would like to adapt this book, but I’m glad that Fincher was the one to do it.

Stevee's Best and Worst Posters of 2011...

Well, it's December (how, I do not know), so it's the time of the year when everyone rolls out their 'best of' lists for the year. While I might make a top ten films list (though it would be better if I did one at the end of next year), I'm going to look at all of the promotional stuff that I can see with the click of the fingers. Now, I'm quite the expert on movie posters, so I'll take a look at the five worst and ten best posters of 2011 films.

Here are the top five worst posters from 2011:

5. Main St - I already talked enough about this poster in this post. I still haven't seen this movie (I kinda plan to, just to see what went wrong), but here's some wishful thinking: it might be better than whoever photoshopped this hideous Coronation Street-esque poster.

4. The Darkest Hour - Sure, this isn't a horribly bad poster compared to some other ones. When it was one of the featured trailers on my IMDB app, the poster was so bad that I stopped using the app for a while until they changed it. Working at a DVD store, I see a whole lot of Z-grade straight-to-DVD disaster films, and this one - which is actually going to cinemas - looks exactly like one of those. I mean, just look at the lame lightning ripping through the city. And the awful colouring of the tagline. And that tagline being bigger than the title. It just makes it look really awful.

3. X-Men: First Class - The large majority of the X-Men: First Class posters were the victims of someone who got a bit too excited about photoshop. This one, showing all of the characters from the movie (and there are quite a few, hence the troubling one-dimensionality of some of them), is quite the eyesore. It all starts with the blueness, and then you wonder why half of these people are walking and the other half are just standing there looking menacing. James McAvoy probably came out worse off...I mean, look at how disproportionate his body is. Michael Fassbender looks like he is in pants that are miles too big to him and his turtleneck has made his neck disappear. And if you look really hard, you can see Lucas Till in the distance, all faded away. It's just such a silly poster.

2. I Don't Know How She Does It - Apart from having one of the most annoying titles of the year, this movie has an annoying poster to match. First of all, there is the colour. It makes me think of puke. Then there is Sarah Jessica Parker, who looks slightly uncomfortable and has a bizarre looking smile on her face. She's holding a teddy with her bag, just to show that no-one knows how she does it. On the right side of her she is a whole lot of things that she needs to do. I'm so glad that she has to make cookies. I don't know how she does that.

1. New Year's Eve - I don't know where to begin with this poster. It is just bloody awful. Just the way everyone looks. Some people look like they've been cut out of a tabloid magazine (ahem, Ashton Kutcher), some have been cut directly out of the official film stills, others just look purely idiotic. I'm talking about you,
Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges. I'm sorry, but you look like you're a prisoner applying to be Santa Claus, your smile is that un-genuine. There's just way too much gold. We get it, New Year's Eve is gold, but that doesn't mean it's the annual lottery holiday.

Best posters after the jump...

10 2011 Movies I Want to See

This is a totally unoriginal idea for a post, but since I've been so slack with my movie-watching lately (it's only going to get more slack this week since I have intense rehearsals as stage challenge nears), I'm running out of options. Anyway, this is a handy idea because there are so many movies I want to see, but I'm not sure about the ones that I want to make any special effort to see. And my first list I made at the start of the year was pretty much useless, as Sucker Punch topped that one. No, I didn't go and see that movie in the cinemas. Yes, I have lost all interest in it.

30 Minutes or Less - Jesse Eisenberg. From awkward geek to Oscar nominee within one year of being a household name. But what happens after the 27 year old that no-one expected big things from gets an Oscar nomination for his brilliant performance as Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network? Well, he's gotten more cats. But Jesse ain't looking to put himself out there as the best actor in the world just yet. Instead, he's reteamed with Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer for a comedy about a pizza delivery guy who's forced to rob a bank otherwise he'll be blown up. Sound stupid? It's a true story. And you know how Hollywood is with the true stories. I imagine Jesse will be up for a second Oscar nomination with this one.

50/50 - The trailer for this just hit the webbie and people seem to like what they see. So do I. I mean, first of all, it has the great Joseph Gordon-Levitt in it. And when you have Joey around in your flick these days, he can do no wrong. The rest of the cast is pretty top-notch too. I like the idea that Seth Rogen is the buddy in this movie, which means he is kinda back to the guy he was before he got all famous and such...the funny buddy. Anna Kendrick is also impressive and so is Bryce Dallas Howard. Plus, it's directed by Jonathan Levine, who did some brilliant work with The Wackness. I'm expecting big things, and I hope it can deliver.

Crazy, Stupid, Love - The trailer for this was very promising. Really, the cast itself it very promising. Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon...that's like, acting heaven. You can't tell me that all of these great people came together for a bad movie, can you? Well I certainly hope not. Anyway, if it fails, Ryan Gosling is still pretty hot and there are two redheads in this movie.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Okay, so last year I had major spazzes over Inception and I was just so excited to see it every time I heard that name uttered I'd go into cardiac arrest. I think I've found this year's Inception in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I must have watched that trailer like 50 gazillion times now. But the sad thing is that this doesn't come out in NZ until 26th January 2012. So technically, this is my most anticipated for 2012. Anyway, it's a 2011 release, so I'll keep having heart attacks over it all throughout the year.

Hanna - Yeah, all of you people are probably like "you should have seen that already!" Truth is, it should have been released here in less than a couple of weeks time. But no, some idiots decided it would be a good idea to release it here on September 1st. Smooth, guys, real smooth. Just under three months until I get to see Saoirse Ronan kicking ass, Cate Blanchett being a red-head, Eric Bana being all violent and my queen Olivia Williams? Yeah, I love you too.

The Help - Okay, I admit, I feel as if this movie was made decades ago. But have you seen the red-heads that are in this? Emma Stone. Bryce Dallas Howard. Jessica Chastain. Red-heads! Plus, there's Sissy Spacek, Viola Davis, Anna Camp and Allison Janney. This has a strong female cast, and damn, I've been waiting a long time for a strong female cast. I also think that Emma Stone will impress with this movie. She'll prove that she can be a strong dramatic actress, hopefully, and continue to wow us with her charm.

Melancholia - Yeah, yeah, yeah. This will be branded as 'that movie directed by that Jew who thinks he's a Nazi'. While Cannes banned Lars von Trier's ass from their show, I'm glad they didn't cut his film from contention. Because it looks freaking awesome. Strange, but awesome. Kristen Dunst is making her big comeback, and this film has made sure that she's welcome again. Oh, and I think it's worth mentioning that there are two Skarsgård's in this film: Stellan and Alexander. I have a strange infatuation with these two. Stellan just seems like an all-round great guy and Alexander might just be the sexiest man alive (that's what happenswhen you watch True Blood all week, folks).

Midnight in Paris - I ain't the hugest fan of Woody Allen. All of his recent works have been kinda 'meh'. However, his latest, Midnight in Paris, got some fantastic reviews. Which I thought was unlikely, since he teamed up with Owen Wilson. But no, apparently this one is splendid. The cast looks splendid, too. Rachel McAdams, Michael Sheen, Carla Bruni, Adrien Brody, Kathy Bates, Marion Cotillard...it all looks divine. I'm sure I'll like this one, even if I ain't the hugest fan of Woody.

In Time - First it was called I'm.Mortal. Then it was called Now. And now it is called In Time. I wouldn't be surprised if they changed the title again. Anyway, even though there hasn't been a trailer or much publicity for this movie yet, I'm excited. Sure, 95% of that comes down to the fact that Cillian Murphy is in it and in that picture he looks like the most excellent brand of bad-assery. The other 5% of my excitement over this movie comes down to Olivia Wilde, Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried. The story sounds cool too...it's set in a world where no-one can go over the age of 25. Yeah, most people would want that world to be real.

The Tree of Life - I'm sure I have no right to be excited over this, since I haven't seen any of Terrence Malick's other work, but it looks fantastic. I just love watching movies which just observe life. From what I've read, this movie has everything from dinosaurs to wordly shots to mean fathers. It sounds as interesting as anything. What makes it even more interesting is the fact that it won the Palme D'Or at Cannes even though many people gave it the 'boo' treatment. Now that is interesting.

Well, there's my list. What are you looking forward to for the rest of this year?

Rooney Mara...Can She Be The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?

This morning I woke up to the news that the teaser trailer for David Fincher's version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo had been leaked online, and I watched it in amazement. It looks as bad-ass as ever, even if the quality is a bit shonky because the trailer hasn't actually been released online. I must have watched the trailer about seven times today. There's just something about it which makes me very excited. But of course, any film made by David Fincher has the power to make me bloody excited.

Of course, the original Swedish version was a very good movie. The performances were all pitch perfect, the direction was tense and it was a very clever yet disturbing film. I actually preferred the film version to the book (mind you, I was rushed through that book and I have major troubles with reading). However, the biggest key to that films success was the amazing performance by Noomi Rapace. She was something new; an utterly fearless performance who was willing to put herself through just about anything to play the interesting role of Lisbeth Salander, a tortured, damaged girl who is also brave and intelligent. Noomi Rapace was so widely loved for her performances in the trilogy that many campaigned for her to reprise her role in the American version. She turned that opportunity down, and so Fincher went on a campaign to find his Lisbeth Salander, with early front-runners being young actresses like Carey Mulligan and Kristen Stewart, but yet, Fincher hadn't found his 'girl' yet.

Enter Rooney Mara. She had worked for Fincher before in The Social Network, but that remains as her only widely known flick. Sure, she was in A Nightmare on Elm Street, another remake, but it would be better if we just forget about that one, and also Youth in Revolt, which isn't widely regarded around here. Other than that, Mara was just as likely as any of the other candidates, but many disregarded her as she didn't seem like a true candidate because of her select filmography. However, it's like when David O. Selznick picked Vivien Leigh for the role of Scarlett O'Hara, he was taking a risk, and it paid off in the long run. We're yet to see if Fincher's risk will be worth it, but I think Rooney Mara will be beyond excellent in this film.

Now Lisbeth Salander is a role which isn't for the light-hearted. First of all, whoever is playing her must be prepared to put their appearance on the line. The hair has to go, and the short, uneven cut has to be died jet black. Piercings have to come in, wherever possible, especially around the face area. An already thin frame has to become even thinner, to the point that a scarecrow would be a similar figure. And you could probably forget about wearing pretty clothes. Black is the only likely candidate in a closet full of Salander clothes, and the accessories aren't exactly inviting either. Oh, and of course, as the title suggests Lisbeth has tattoos, a huge one of a dragon sprawled across her back, to be exact.

Then comes all of Lisbeth's problems. She has some less-than-gentle people surrounding her, including a dodgy guardian who believes that no deed goes unpunished. She distances herself as far away from the rest of the world as she can, hence the odd clothing and such. But she simply doesn't give a crap, because she won't change for anybody. She sleeps with whom she wants, when she wants, and won't give up without a fight. And boy, she can fight. She fights for herself. In fact, she is determined to do everything herself. If someone ticks her off, she'll get revenge, herself. Lisbeth is as tough as ever on the outside and the inside, and she's certainly not stupid, as she has more intelligence than she knows what to do with.

Lisbeth is undeniably one of the greatest female characters to pop up over the past few years, which is why she is such a coveted role. So, of course, the person who took the role had to be more than capable of carrying a film. When Rooney Mara was announced as the next girl with the dragon tattoo, people were sceptical over the choice. Was this because they felt that no-one but Noomi Rapace could fill the role? Or was it because they felt that Mara was too inexperienced to be handed a role as big and complex as this one?

Well, here here. First of all, at this point in time, I have trouble seeing anyone but Rapace in the role, because with those three films, she made Lisbeth entirely her own. While Mara is a very delicate and pretty looking girl, I think we can all see from the shoot she did a long time ago in Lisbeth mode that she has made a stunning transformation. She looks tough, less like a woman and as bad-ass as ever. The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that she doesn't have that beautiful long hair anymore, but sacrifices, right?

As for the inexperience problem, I feel as though if someone like Natalie Portman starred in it, it wouldn't be as surprising. Portman has starred in many films, and has built up a persona of being an innocent, sweet girl, which is far from what is required here. We all know what to expect from someone like her, and while the role would provide a great showcase for talent, that's not what makes this role special. What makes it special is someone who people barely even know to come in and have their own take on the character. Because, who says that someone inexperienced doesn't have talent? Sure, people get better as their careers go on, but people are born with talent. What they choose to do with that talent is entirely up to them. I thought Mara's performance in The Social Network was actually the best of the whole film, and if she can blow me away in three scenes, then what can she do with a whole movie? She'll be bad-ass, no matter what.

So basically, I think Rooney Mara's casting in this film is a stroke of genius. People don't really know what to expect from her...will she be a carbon copy of Noomi Rapace or bring the role into her own? But obviously, Mara is smart enough to know a good thing when she sees it, and I'm sure she'll do anything within her power to be awesome. Having the midas-like hands of David Fincher helping her along will only make it better.

So what do you think? Do you think Rooney Mara is a good fit for the role, or would you have preferred someone else? Also, are you looking forward to the remake?

What an R18 is Like for Someone Too Young to Watch Them

NZ isn't like America. The censorship system here is a load of crap. We have our G's and PG's, which absolutely anyone can hire or buy. Then we have our M's, which anyone could watch, but some shops which are far too strict with their DVDs say that people under 16 can't buy them, simply because the label says "Suitable for mature audiences 16 and over." But I could go and see any M rated movie at the cinemas without any trouble. Then we have an R rating, which means that people under 16 can only watch the movie if they have parental guidance. The same goes for RP13 and RP16 movies, but they are extremely rare. And of course, we have our restricted movies. First is an R13, which of course means that you have to be 13 or above to watch it legally. Following that are the R15 (very rare), R16 and the very worst, R18 movies. About 50% of the movies I watch are R16's, and I'm still a little shy of actually being 16. And to be honest, no one gives a crap about censorship anymore.

I usually refrain from watching R18 movies, since none of them are really that great unless they're directed by Quentin Tarantino or David Fincher, but the ones I have watched have mostly deserved such a strict rating. Yet, I haven't gone and shot anyone because I was so affected by the film. After watching a certain R18 film the other night, I decided I'd list some of the worst offenders of the great rating that I've seen. No, Antichrist or The Human Centipede are not of the list.

Offender One

Now, I admit, I wasn't disturbed by American Psycho's violence and killing and whatnot. Instead, I was disturbed by Christian Bale. We all know that Christian Bale is pretty much very different in every role he rakes, whether he be scarily skinny or huge and buff. But in this movie, he's just...scary. He really has fun with being this guy obsessed with status and power, and having the perfect business card with a watermark. But from the moment I saw him pulling off his facemask I was disturbed by this character. Seeing him run naked down a hallway with blood all over him after a hooker with a chainsaw only made it worse. And I do admit I let out a rather large gasp when he said he ate some of his victims brains. American Psycho is gloriously violent, even though it isn't the non-stop killing spree I'd thought it would be. So, while I wasn't so disturbed by the fact that he had heads in his fridge and likes to dance to 'Hip to be Square' before he axes a colleague, I was just disturbed by Patrick Bateman. He was an odd fellow, that's for sure.
The effect it's supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I'd probably want to go and kill people just because I want to. I might want to get a tanning bed. I could feel drawn to eating people. Om nom nom.
Actual effect on me: Since seeing the film, I really wanna get a morning routine. And "I have to return my video-tapes" is the best escape line ever.
The R18 verdict: 90% R18. I probably wouldn't rate it any less, as it is pretty graphic and the extended sex scene really doesn't do it any justice.

Offender Two

Ever since I first saw Requiem for a Dream I believe I haven't been the same. The movie literally damaged me. Now that's not because the movie is graphically violent or it has loads of sex or whatever in it. I think it's just an R18 because it is emotionally disturbing. Like, I don't ever want to turn out like any of these people. I don't want to get my arm chopped off (I must say I watched that scene through my fingers). I don't want to get addicted to diet pills because I have false hope. I don't want to turn to prostitution just because I want to pay to live in a fucked up life. I just can't stand to think that some people live like this. That's why, on the two occasions that I've experienced this movie, I cried so much it was like the world was ending. And I don't think it's so much a content issue as to why this movie is so heavily rated, it just must be because the rating people know that it isn't the most pleasant movie to watch. It was rated NC-17 because of that sex scene that happens in the middle of the film, but I don't think that adds much to the rating.
The effect it's supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I will suddenly be drawn to drugs. I'll want to lose weight via diet pills. I will do awful things just to get what I want.
Actual effect it had on me: I felt like my happy life ended after seeing this movie.
The R18 verdict: 50%. As far as content goes, it's actually not that bad. But then again, I wouldn't allow anyone under the age of 18 to watch it for their own sanity.

Offender Three

Any film depicting rape is at once worthy of the R18 sticker. Ironically, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was originally rated R16 when it was released in cinemas. However, when it was released on DVD and a lot more people started seeing it, it started receiving a lot of complaints for it's brutality, and about a month or two after the DVD was released, the rating was changed, and instead of just containing "sexual violence" it got changed to "brutal sexual violence". I'm actually glad the movie got moved up to such a rating, because that rape scene, in itself, is so graphic that it shouldn't really be seen by the young. But I could take it...twice. Apart from the rape scene, there are a few graphic murder-themed tales and scenes, as it's a very dark film. Other than that, there isn't much to complain about. I still wouldn't recommend that anyone my age watch it, though, because I know that people three times my age can't handle it.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: 'Men who Hate Women': the original title pretty much sums it up.
Actual effect on me: Even though it looks like a lot of shit goes down there, I still really really really wanna go to Sweden.
The R18 verdict: 75%. There are a few really shocking scenes scattered throughout the film, and it is a very hard film to watch.

Offender Four

Again, any movie with a rape scene is worthy of a high rating. The Poker House, a little seen gem starring Jennifer Lawrence before Winter's Bone shot her to fame, has a rather graphic, horrible rape scene in it, which gives it the R18 sticker fair and square. Like, after I saw that one scene, I just about wanted to shoot myself. It was freaking depressing to see someone who looks as fragile as Jennifer Lawrence being tormented by a big hulking guy. Other than that, the movie only has a bit of swearing, some violence, underage smoking/drug use and it's a little bit emotionally scarring. I'd totally recommend the movie though, especially coz I think I'm the only who has seen it.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I guess I should probably want to smoke more.
Actual effect on me: I learnt to stay away from my Mum's pimp. Except she doesn't have a pimp, so that lesson is pretty much useless.
The R18 verdict: 30%. The rape scene is the only thing that gets this movie the R18 rating.

Offender Five

The last R18 film I have chosen is Kick-Ass, one of my favourite movies, and one that I could watch over and over again. This rating is rubbish. I believe, if a film is to be an R18, it should have swearing, sex, lots of violence and it should be emotionally scarring. Okay, so Kick-Ass uses the word 'fuck' probably 200 times. That's R16 level, to me. There ain't much sex in this movie, as such, but there are a lot of suggestions about that matter. I think it's the violence that gets the film such a high rating, because the only reason I can think of as to why this movie would possibly be damaging is when Nicolas Cage is burning alive going "TAAAAAAAAKE COVERRRRR CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD! NOW SWITCH. TO KRYPTONIIIIIIIIIITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Yes, that was emotionally scarring. However, the violence is gloriously giddy and it's really happy just throwing around blood. What really hangs me up though is that people get really pissed when they hear someone young like Chloe Moretz using the foul language she does, because that's not okay. But yet she can kill around five people in one scene with her own bare hands and no one bats an eyelash. Because swearing is worse than killing people.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I shall want to wear a funny costume and going around killing bad people. I might want to swear all the time. I should probably get the wrong idea about superheroism.
Actual effect on me: Like Nicolas CAGE I have learnt TO put emphasis on THE wrong WORDS. I also MUST now name every CAT I see Mr. BITEY.
The R18 verdict: 10%. The violence is definitely at an R18 level, but I'm pretty sure everyone my age can handle it. Same goes for the swearing. Swearing is nothing to me anymore, as I'm pretty sure there aren't as many different swear words as their used to be.

Other notable R18 films I have seen which actually haven't really affected me:
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Machete, Reservoir Dogs, Se7en, Unthinkable, The Killer Inside Me, Perfect Blue, Harry Brown, Brooklyn's Finest, Women in Trouble, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, The Wackness.Plus, I'm a huge fan of True Blood, which is probably the biggest offender of all when it comes to the R18 sticker.

So, the point is, the R18 rating is merely a warning. People know that it isn't going to be all fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows because it's rated the highest possible censorship rating. And half the time, the content doesn't even match the rating. Bottom line is, when I finally turn 16, I'll be over the moon because I can finally go to R16 movies. When I turn 18, I'll be excited for...other stuff.

America: 'Hey Sweden, why don't we just remake your great films?'

Americans need to get their own ideas.
So yeah, remaking The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is understandable, because:
1. It is a critically acclaimed book series, which anyone-whose-anyone has read. So, if these people are a bit tired after reading those massive books, then they probably don't want to read the subtitles to a movie, which probably isn't as good as the book in the first place.
2.David Fincher's directing it. At least he's a director who knows what he is doing, not some guy who last directed a comedy which was 'Rotten'. If David Fincher is directing it, you know you have a winner.

But America has got their paws on Let the Right One In . Which is possibly the greatest vampire movie of all-time. And also one of the creepiest. This movie does not deserve to be given the American treatment. Because the Americans will literally take the idea, dumb it down to the lowest common denominator, and the magic left in it will be ruined by their idea of popular culture. Now, I don't mean to hate on the person that is the director of this- Matt Reeves , director of Cloverfield-because I'm sure he means well. But he just isn't David Fincher.

Let the Right One In has been changed to Let Me In, and the lead characters names have been changed from Oskar and Eli to... Owen and Abby.

Seriously?

Chloe Moretz will be playing Abby, and so far she has been proving to be one of the greatest young smart-ass actresses ever. Not that I hold that against her. She was terrific in (500) Days of Summer and has been getting quite good reviews for Kick-Ass. But can she handle the role of the she-vampire with the right intensity just as Lina Leandersson did? Well, she's been given a hoodie, so I guess that's starting a new punk look for the vampire...or maybe she found it too cold to be parading around the snow in a white blouse.

Chloe Moretz, complete with hoodie, as she-vamp Abby. Not quite the Eli we remember, but you know, I'd imagine that this 400 year old girl is quite down with the yong ones. Which is why she's in the hoodie, and making faces with her breath on the window, you see.

Lina Leandersson, playing the original 400 year old she-vamp Eli. No hoodie, just white blouse with a bit of blood coming out of her. You gotta love her for that.

Kodi Smit-McPhee will be playing Owen, who is a bullied young boy who befriends the she-vamp (haha, I like that way of putting it). Smit-McPhee is a young Australian actor who got his big break opposite Eric Bana in Australian flick Romulus, My Father. But you've probably seen him in the apocalyptic film 2012, just kidding, The Road. Not bad for a little Australian guy, starring in a film like this, which will get all of it's publicity from the controversy surrounding it.

Abby and Owen puzzle over a Rubik's cube-and possibly why they chose to remake this film-out in the cold courtyard. Look like a fine coupling to me. A little like a younger version of Bella and Edward. So if K-Stew and R-Pattz quit Breaking Dawn due to pay disputes, you know where to find Chloe and Kodi!

The director of the original, Tomas Alfredson, is understandbly not to happy with the Americanization of his film. That's because his film is a masterpiece, and he know's it. Everyone knows it. You just can't beat the originals, even if they are made in some funny language and require you to read for one and a half hours of your life.

Will I be going to see Let Me In? Probably not in cinemas. I understand it is going to be given a wide release, which is unfortunate because Let the Right One In was given a really small one. But I will see Let Me In one day. What I imagine it to be is full of gore and blood--just plain sillyness you get from average run-of-the-mill horrors these days. There will be an uber-awesome soundtrack, filled with rap music and possibly Justin Bieber (to, you know, keep up with the cool crowd), instead of the lovely harmonious pieces of music which can make even the hardest heart go soft. And Abby will become the next style icon--she will do for the she-vamp what Carrie Bradshaw did for the maxi-dress. Trust me, after you have seen Let Me In, you'll want to be seen in a hoodie (as pictured to the right, the simple black hoodie can make you look so much cooler).

So anyway, I did mention The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at the beginning of this post. I'd love to see Carey Mulligan playing Lisbeth Salander. Ten dollars says that they will change her name. It'll be interesting to see sweet Jenny playing a pierced computer hacker. And she'll still be going for the older men. Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Johnny Depp are all rumoured to be playing Mikael Blomkvist. This could be alternatively called An Education 2: Jenny Moves On? Because, you know, Americans like changing names of other peoples stuff so it seems like their idea.

Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander in the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. There's a really fun-loving, Care Bears watching, pink princess under all of that tough guy act, somewhere.

Ah, there's our Carey Mulligan playing Jenny in An Education. The Americans will water the role of Lisbeth down a little, because we would hate for Jenny's repuatation and look to be diminished! (oh right, she was having an affair with an older man...)

Just in case you were wondering:
Let Me In will be released in America in October 2010.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is slated for release in 2012. But the next two parts in the trilogy (all Swedish) will be coming later this year. However, critically speaking, the sequels haven't been doing well.