Thursday, June 3, 2010

America: 'Hey Sweden, why don't we just remake your great films?'

Americans need to get their own ideas.
So yeah, remaking The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is understandable, because:
1. It is a critically acclaimed book series, which anyone-whose-anyone has read. So, if these people are a bit tired after reading those massive books, then they probably don't want to read the subtitles to a movie, which probably isn't as good as the book in the first place.
2.David Fincher's directing it. At least he's a director who knows what he is doing, not some guy who last directed a comedy which was 'Rotten'. If David Fincher is directing it, you know you have a winner.

But America has got their paws on Let the Right One In . Which is possibly the greatest vampire movie of all-time. And also one of the creepiest. This movie does not deserve to be given the American treatment. Because the Americans will literally take the idea, dumb it down to the lowest common denominator, and the magic left in it will be ruined by their idea of popular culture. Now, I don't mean to hate on the person that is the director of this- Matt Reeves , director of Cloverfield-because I'm sure he means well. But he just isn't David Fincher.

Let the Right One In has been changed to Let Me In, and the lead characters names have been changed from Oskar and Eli to... Owen and Abby.


Chloe Moretz will be playing Abby, and so far she has been proving to be one of the greatest young smart-ass actresses ever. Not that I hold that against her. She was terrific in (500) Days of Summer and has been getting quite good reviews for Kick-Ass. But can she handle the role of the she-vampire with the right intensity just as Lina Leandersson did? Well, she's been given a hoodie, so I guess that's starting a new punk look for the vampire...or maybe she found it too cold to be parading around the snow in a white blouse.
Chloe Moretz, complete with hoodie, as she-vamp Abby. Not quite the Eli we remember, but you know, I'd imagine that this 400 year old girl is quite down with the yong ones. Which is why she's in the hoodie, and making faces with her breath on the window, you see.
Lina Leandersson, playing the original 400 year old she-vamp Eli. No hoodie, just white blouse with a bit of blood coming out of her. You gotta love her for that.
Kodi Smit-McPhee will be playing Owen, who is a bullied young boy who befriends the she-vamp (haha, I like that way of putting it). Smit-McPhee is a young Australian actor who got his big break opposite Eric Bana in Australian flick Romulus, My Father. But you've probably seen him in the apocalyptic film 2012, just kidding, The Road. Not bad for a little Australian guy, starring in a film like this, which will get all of it's publicity from the controversy surrounding it.
Abby and Owen puzzle over a Rubik's cube-and possibly why they chose to remake this film-out in the cold courtyard. Look like a fine coupling to me. A little like a younger version of Bella and Edward. So if K-Stew and R-Pattz quit Breaking Dawn due to pay disputes, you know where to find Chloe and Kodi!
The director of the original, Tomas Alfredson, is understandbly not to happy with the Americanization of his film. That's because his film is a masterpiece, and he know's it. Everyone knows it. You just can't beat the originals, even if they are made in some funny language and require you to read for one and a half hours of your life.

Will I be going to see Let Me In? Probably not in cinemas. I understand it is going to be given a wide release, which is unfortunate because Let the Right One In was given a really small one. But I will see Let Me In one day. What I imagine it to be is full of gore and blood--just plain sillyness you get from average run-of-the-mill horrors these days. There will be an uber-awesome soundtrack, filled with rap music and possibly Justin Bieber (to, you know, keep up with the cool crowd), instead of the lovely harmonious pieces of music which can make even the hardest heart go soft. And Abby will become the next style icon--she will do for the she-vamp what Carrie Bradshaw did for the maxi-dress. Trust me, after you have seen Let Me In, you'll want to be seen in a hoodie (as pictured to the right, the simple black hoodie can make you look so much cooler).

So anyway, I did mention The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at the beginning of this post. I'd love to see Carey Mulligan playing Lisbeth Salander. Ten dollars says that they will change her name. It'll be interesting to see sweet Jenny playing a pierced computer hacker. And she'll still be going for the older men. Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Johnny Depp are all rumoured to be playing Mikael Blomkvist. This could be alternatively called An Education 2: Jenny Moves On? Because, you know, Americans like changing names of other peoples stuff so it seems like their idea.
Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander in the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. There's a really fun-loving, Care Bears watching, pink princess under all of that tough guy act, somewhere.
Ah, there's our Carey Mulligan playing Jenny in An Education. The Americans will water the role of Lisbeth down a little, because we would hate for Jenny's repuatation and look to be diminished! (oh right, she was having an affair with an older man...)
Just in case you were wondering:
Let Me In will be released in America in October 2010.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is slated for release in 2012. But the next two parts in the trilogy (all Swedish) will be coming later this year. However, critically speaking, the sequels haven't been doing well.


  1. I've not seen Let the Right One In, and I'll just presume that maybe they're a little smarter than to make a really bad one, but I still love this post. I could see the hoodie coming back...

  2. Yes, this is a good post. I'm glad Andrew's linking has steered me to this space. I can never really get upset about American remakes anymore. They've been doing it forever. They remake Seven Samarai, Breathless, Yojimbo so really, that those have been remade, Let the Right One In, although very good, doesn't even register with me. It does America now has a quicker turnaround time for remakes but the last one I judged just based on that criteria (Death at a Funeral) I really ended up liking and even more than the original. Plus, if Fincher is remaking Girl he must see something in it that he can bring it. The reality is, foreign films don't get to huge audiences so if you need to remake them so that more people see them, I'm not 100% opposed to that, especially if they act as a gateway to go seek out the original after.

  3. Lol this is funny. I hate remakes, except for that of Little Women in 1994 and True Grit in 2010. Hollywood seems to have run out of ideas now though, and it seems like they're just remaking everything. Shame, isn't it? I'm also a little bit disappointed in your attitude towards Americans lol. I promise we're not that bad.
    Anyways, I just found your blog and it's quite nice. Keep up the good work :)


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