Quick Limerick Reviews: Anonymous, One Day, Fright Night + More

Yeah, I'm rolling out the poetry again...even though I dislike it to no end. Just in case you don't know what a limerick is, here is the buzz:
-There are five lines.
-Lines 1, 2 and 5 all rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 rhyme with one another, too.
-Lines 1, 2 and 5 have between 7 and 10 syllables in each line.
-Lines 3 and 4 should have between 5 and 7 syllables in each line.
-Ideally, it should be funny (here's hoping).

With these stellar creations that are all about the syllables, I shall be reviewing Anonymous, One Day, Fright Night, Tanner Hall and The Three Musketeers.

Anonymous (2011)

So you think Shakespeare is a fraud?

That sure is a question for the bored.

And hath boring it is

Very pretty, but no fizz

And no apocalypse, thank the lord.

What I got:

One Day (2011)

Is it really that hard to be a Brit?

Or make romance that is romantic?

Good idea, at the time

But just as sweet as a lime

And Anne Hathaway's accent is shit.

What I got:

Fright Night (2011)

Another remake, what a surprise!

Its strange the things that money buys,

There aren't many scares,

Nor is it a funny affair,

But Anton Yelchin is still a cuddly guy.

What I got:

Tanner Hall (2009)

Back when Rooney Mara had long hair

And no dragon tattoos to wear

Being a girl was hard

But it's vision is quite marred

Still, here's the start of Rooney's big career.

What I got:

The Three Musketeers (2011)

A classic novel, the way to go

Just make it work for generation 'whoa'

Stick in some flying boats,

Then it's only fun for goats,

Is it at all cool? Heavens no.

What I got:

What do you think of these movies? Have any poetry to share about them?

Stevee's Best and Worst Posters of 2011...

Well, it's December (how, I do not know), so it's the time of the year when everyone rolls out their 'best of' lists for the year. While I might make a top ten films list (though it would be better if I did one at the end of next year), I'm going to look at all of the promotional stuff that I can see with the click of the fingers. Now, I'm quite the expert on movie posters, so I'll take a look at the five worst and ten best posters of 2011 films.

Here are the top five worst posters from 2011:

5. Main St - I already talked enough about this poster in this post. I still haven't seen this movie (I kinda plan to, just to see what went wrong), but here's some wishful thinking: it might be better than whoever photoshopped this hideous Coronation Street-esque poster.

4. The Darkest Hour - Sure, this isn't a horribly bad poster compared to some other ones. When it was one of the featured trailers on my IMDB app, the poster was so bad that I stopped using the app for a while until they changed it. Working at a DVD store, I see a whole lot of Z-grade straight-to-DVD disaster films, and this one - which is actually going to cinemas - looks exactly like one of those. I mean, just look at the lame lightning ripping through the city. And the awful colouring of the tagline. And that tagline being bigger than the title. It just makes it look really awful.

3. X-Men: First Class - The large majority of the X-Men: First Class posters were the victims of someone who got a bit too excited about photoshop. This one, showing all of the characters from the movie (and there are quite a few, hence the troubling one-dimensionality of some of them), is quite the eyesore. It all starts with the blueness, and then you wonder why half of these people are walking and the other half are just standing there looking menacing. James McAvoy probably came out worse off...I mean, look at how disproportionate his body is. Michael Fassbender looks like he is in pants that are miles too big to him and his turtleneck has made his neck disappear. And if you look really hard, you can see Lucas Till in the distance, all faded away. It's just such a silly poster.

2. I Don't Know How She Does It - Apart from having one of the most annoying titles of the year, this movie has an annoying poster to match. First of all, there is the colour. It makes me think of puke. Then there is Sarah Jessica Parker, who looks slightly uncomfortable and has a bizarre looking smile on her face. She's holding a teddy with her bag, just to show that no-one knows how she does it. On the right side of her she is a whole lot of things that she needs to do. I'm so glad that she has to make cookies. I don't know how she does that.

1. New Year's Eve - I don't know where to begin with this poster. It is just bloody awful. Just the way everyone looks. Some people look like they've been cut out of a tabloid magazine (ahem, Ashton Kutcher), some have been cut directly out of the official film stills, others just look purely idiotic. I'm talking about you,
Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges. I'm sorry, but you look like you're a prisoner applying to be Santa Claus, your smile is that un-genuine. There's just way too much gold. We get it, New Year's Eve is gold, but that doesn't mean it's the annual lottery holiday.

Best posters after the jump...