A Conversation with Safe House

Time for another entry to the LAMMY award nominated 'A Conversation with...' series! I'm sure Christopher would be right proud to have a nomination. I mean, the poor guy has to be a figment of my imagination, talk to some bad movies, and on top of all that be named after a ginger cat that doesn't exist. So do the young man a solid and flick him a vote at the LAMMYs. Because tonight he has to talk to Safe House. A movie which I had to take a nap during, and it was the middle of the freaking day (granted, I am extremely tired).

CHRISTOPHER: Well I'm back again, and this time I get the pleasure of talking to Safe House, Denzel Washington's...whoa whoa WHOA! Put down the gun!
SAFE HOUSE: I will not put the gun down. I know that you're going to betray me. 

C: Well I'm not...I promise.
SH: Promising isn't enough. Any time soon you're gonna pull a gun outta nowhere and shoot me right in the head.

C: I can promise you that I've never owned a gun in my life. Let alone seen one.
SH: You're lying.

C: I am not lying. 
SH: You tell a hundred lies a day, and then you think they sound like the truth.

C: I have not told one lie today.
SH: Yes you have. I overheard you telling Dwayne Johnson that he looked good in a purple tutu. We all know that he only looks good in a pink tutu. That's why I'm holding a gun to your head. 

C: Ummmm...okeydokey, then.
SH: You can't trust anyone. Espeically if you think Dwayne Johnson looks good in a purple tutu.

C: I'm not even going to question that. So trust...is that what you're all about?
SH: I guess. And Denzel Washington beating the crap out of people. And pulling guns on people. You know, just the basic action/thriller shit that everyone loves. With a bit of smart political/CIA talk to trick people into thinking I'm really smart.

C: I'm sure you succeeded in many cases.
SH: Well yeah. I mean, having good old Denzel was enough. He would scare people into thinking anything. Except for thinking that Dwayne Johnson looks better in a pink tutu, apparently.

C: For God's sake! Let the tutu thing go!
SH: I will not let it go. I'll get the CIA onto you. Aha, now you think I'm really smart!

C: Yes. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that I was talking to Albert Einstein. Starring alongside Denzel is Ryan Reynolds. Is he the next big action star?
SH: Well Green Lantern was a bit of a fail, wasn't it? That's why Dwayne Johnson don't wear no green tutu, either. I think he's heading for like, the next Matt Damon sort of thing, but he's taking a few unagreenable (ha) choices along the way. Mind you, I wouldn't go past a buddy cop movie starring he and Denzel one day. If Denzel ever stops doing political action/thrillers.

C: He's pretty much made up his own genre of action/thrillers.
SH: One day I'll be part of the special cinematic movement called 'The Denzel Wave'. How you like that, cinephiles?!

C: It'll be like 'The Dwayne Johnson Wave', where he pops up in lots of kids films even though he's not suited to them. 
SH: No. Tutu's don't deserve their special place in cinematic history. Denzel kicking butt deserves a special place in cinematic history.

C: Well...if you say so. 
SH: I do say so.

C: Now can you please move the gun away from my head?
SH: Ae?

C: You're pointing a gun at my forehead still.
SH: Huh? I didn't even notice. BADASSSSSSSSSS!

What I got:

DVD--Buried

or: 90 minutes of Ryan Reynolds in a box.

One word to sum it up: Exhilarating.

If anything, 2010 was the year when films decided to trap people. They trapped James Franco in a canyon and made him lop his arm off in 127 Hours. They trapped a whole lot of people in an elevator written by Shyamalan in Devil. They trapped a whole lot of people in the cinema to witness the horrible Sex and the City 2. But the most exciting of all? When they trapped Ryan Reynolds, a.k.a the sexiest man alive, in a coffin six feet under for 90 minutes, in Buried. Being the big Reynolds fan that I am, this was to be my dream. And it was my dream. Even if the ending pissed me off to no end and I was envious of the creativity within this film.

So, the plot is extremely straightforward. Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) is a truck driver working as a contractor in Iraq. He wakes up in a box. He soon realizes he can't get out of the box. And there isn't a lot of air left for him. He has a cigarette lighter to help him along and a working mobile phone which allows him contact with the outside world. One part of the outside world tells him that he will only be let out if someone gives his captor "5 million money". The rest of the outside world doesn't give Paul much of a chance. But he ain't ready to die!

I imagine anyone going into this film will be like: "90 minutes in a box? How would that even begin to be interesting?" I was like that. After this film, I was like: "Where did my 90 minutes just go? And why am I hanging off the edge of my seat?" This film was more interesting and exciting than most other movies I have seen. Some may call it gimmicky, but I call this unique film making, aching to make people more claustrophobic than they would be in a crowd of people. It moves fast, and it has the right tension and narrative structure...and yet, it never, ever, not once, leaves the box. It's basically just a movie with a guy and a whole lot of phone calls. Which is funny, because the voices on the other end of the calls have just as much of a presence as a normal person in a film. The only problematic voice is that of Conroy's captor, who has a slightly comical voice that you'd expect from parodies of this topic, but hey, that's some humour added to a story not very humourous at all.

I'm not saying this is better than 127 Hours - it definitely isn't - but this film achieves a lot more than that one did. Ryan Reynolds acts entirely by himself, only aided by various phone calls. He's long been dabbling in romantic comedies, but here he shows some true acting chops. It goes without saying, he manages to anchor the entire thing. I'd like to see more dramatic Reynolds. He was extremely good in this. Rodrigo Cortés does an amazing job directing this. He manages to get every angle out of that box, which makes the whole thing even more exciting. He does use painfully saturated slow-mo once...but I got over that pretty quick. I don't know how this guy did what he did, but all I know is that I want what ever he is having for breakfast.

One of the only things that undid this amazing experience was the end. It was such an annoying ending. I don't want to go too into detail, but I guess it was made to annoy the viewer. It just felt so dead-end, though I do realize that it was actually quite a good way to finish such a film. I just didn't like it. However, it's a film like this which reminds the audience that films are always better if they've stripped right back to the basics. It's a film which builds up such suspense in such a short time, and holds it for the entire duration of the film. It's a film which I really, really enjoyed, and became really, really scared of.

THE VERDICT: A twisted suspense thriller with all the goods and more. Plus an amazing turn from Ryan Reynolds.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

Top 10 actors I wouldn't mind spending my Valentines Day with...

Authors note: this is a totally vain list. I'm really only doing it because I get to post pretty pictures of hot guys. And also because I have no life and I easily fall in love with men like following. Please forgive me. Though you'll be happy that there is none of that Twilight shit in here...or Justin Bieber.

10. Aaron Johnson

Aaron Johnson has changed quite a bit since he got involved with Sam Taylor-Wood, but I like to remember Aaron when he was in such films as Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging and Nowhere Boy, and I like to think of him as having a similar personality to Dave Lizewski in Kick-Ass. I have the capacity to geek.

9. Ryan Reynolds

Reasons why The Proposal is a fantastic movie: Sandra Bullock dancing in the forest and RYAN REYNOLDS NAKED!!!! Hey, you don't get called the 'sexiest man alive' for nothing, right?

8. Cillian Murphy

Anyone remember my Cillian Murphy obsession back in August/September? It's all in those eyes. Those beautiful, amazing, stunning, coloured by angels blue eyes. And his amazing cheekbones. And the way he looks when he's a girl. That sounds weird, but Cillian is beautiful.

7. Armie Hammer

I swear Armie Hammer is perfect looking in The Social Network. Like, really beefy and really tall and really cute. Don't have much more to say there.

6. James Franco

He made at least half an hour of Eat Pray Love bearable. His face made 127 Hours a lot easier to go through. He's going to totally own with Anne Hathaway at this years Oscars. He is James Franco. Therefore, he is amazing.

5. Leonardo DiCaprio

In 2009 I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio. It was like the equivalent to Leo-mania just by myself. He's my favourite actor, and unlike most people, I still think he's hot. He used to be cute, now he's sexy. Love it.

4. Jesse Eisenberg

There is something about Jesse Eisenberg's geekiness and awkwardness which I'm really attracted to. Dunno why that it is, but all I know is the more I see of Jesse, the more I fall in love with him. Especially after The Social Network. Even though I'm sure that movie was supposed to have the opposite effect.

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Who doesn't love a little Joseph Gordon-Levitt? He's just such a lovable guy, and a great actor to boot. Just watch (500) Days of Summer and tell me you don't love him. That's what I thought.

2. Nicholas Hoult

When I saw A Single Man, I instantly fell for Nicholas Hoult and that gorgeous sweater he wears. After perving on all the ads he did for Tom Ford and whatnot, I was pretty much in love with Mr. Hoult. I just recently started watching Skins, and while he plays a complete asshole, he is extremely easy on the eye. Perhaps a little too easy.

1. Andrew Garfield

Dear Andrew Garfield,

Why you have to be so good looking?

Yours sincerely,

Stevee.

Andrew Garfield is perfect. His hair, his face, his personality...Jesus Christ, his girlfriend is so lucky. Did I mention that he is an awesome actor? I'll finally get to watch Never Let Me Go in a month, and then comes the long wait until Spider-man comes out. What ever will I do until then?!

Who are some actor/actresses you'd like to spend Valentines with? And while we're at it, what are your plans for Valentines? 

DVD--Paper Man

or: Imaginary Friends

One word to sum it up: Oddball

"When the world is imperiled. When evil surrounds you. When danger is lurking. Who do you call?" "Captain Excellent." Those are words you would expect to come from a real superhero and a young kid. In Paper Man, that is not the case. The superhero is imaginary, and comes in the form of Ryan Reynolds as a man who wears his undies on the outside. The imaginer of the superhero is in fact a grown man, failing writer Richard Dunn (Jeff Daniels). What happens when the grown man gets a real friend (Emma Stone) with some problems of her own? He gets some lessons on how to grow up, even if his long-suffering wife (Lisa Kudrow) and Captain Excellent disapprove.

Paper Man houses a very interesting sort of story which sees it's protagonist dealing with leaving his past behind--his past being an imaginary friend. In some ways, it succeeds in being a charming, coming-of-age-of-sorts. But the movie takes the focus too much off Richard's relationship with Captain Excellent and puts it on the relationship he forms with Emma Stone's stuffed up teenager. The film almost feels like it has been done before, with all the trimmings to make us feel bad for the characters (particularly Stone's, with her twin dying by her 'fault'). It's many flaws may prove too much for some, but I really enjoyed this flick, mainly because it's exactly my type of thing.

Jeff Daniels is good in the lead role, but his character keeps the stereotype that 'all writers go a little mad when they can't think of ideas to write about'. Emma Stone proves that she can do drama quite well, and can really carry an emotional monologue to make us feel for her. Lisa Kudrow is good, even though she's always Phoebe from Friends, but she really pulls off the role of the bored wife. Really, it's the imaginary friends who steal the show. Ryan Reynolds has always been the kind of picture of a superhero, and seems to make fun of that image, especially with the outlandish costume and the peroxide blond hair. He serves as the comic relief of the film, which is good since the rest of it is quite depressing. Kieran Culkin, last seen as Wallace Wells in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, plays the emo imaginary friend, and is fantastic being clingy and clinically depressed. Emma Stone isn't the only star on the rise, Culkin is too.


THE VERDICT: It can be funny, it can be heart-breaking, but that doesn't make Paper Man perfect. The performances lift it from what it could have been.

7/10