A Conversation with New Year's Eve

Sorry for the day's delay. Someone decided it would be a good idea to have new releases spread out on three different days this week, leaving New Year's Eve and The Iron Lady until Friday, so I could only but watch it on Thursday. New Year's Eve was a film I wanted to 'converse' with from the get-go, and after seeing it I've realised how much fun I shall have with this one. So let's get going, shall we?

CHRISTOPHER: Even though it is the 27th of April, I figure it is always okay to interview New Year's Eve. After all, it didn't come out on New Year's Eve. Geez, even Valentine's Day made the effort to come out on Valentine's Day.
NEW YEAR'S EVE: I didn't want to undermine everyone's actual New Year's Eves by making them want to come see me instead of getting drunk and actually having a good idea. So I thought, why not come out at the start of December? Then I'd just undermine Christmas.

C: I don't recall you ever being successful. Christmas still went ahead. 
NYE: Still, I was top of the box office.

C: And in your second week you got beaten by some singing chipmunks.
NYE: I ended up earning more than the singing chipmunks.

C: The singing chipmunks have a higher rating than you do on Rotten Tomatoes.
NYE: I have a better cast than the singing chipmunks.

C: The singing chipmunks are probably more comfortable to listen to than you and your whiny cast are!
NYE: TOO FAR. I'll have you know that people enjoy seeing Katherine Heigl in romantic comedies!

C: Do they? Name some, then.
NYE: ...singing chipmunks?

C: Very convincing. Now, tell me a bit about yourself.
NYE: There is just so much to say. Well, it is New Year's Eve, a night where everyone falls in love and stuff and everyone's happy because they've started a new year and I tell the story of a whole lot of people who want to find love/have love on this magical night. First, there's...

C: Please don't feel compelled to tell us a brief summary of everyone involved in this film. I'm afraid if you did that you'd probably give away your entire storyline.
NYE: But really, I don't mind, everyone's probably figured it out anyway...

C: We really don't have time. If we did, we'd be here until Christmas, by which time you'd probably have another holiday themed movie out.
NYE: Well, you see, we thought that, but some British movie...I don't know, what is it called? Ah, Love Actually, already bet us to the punch with that one.

C: I guess being British helps when you're making holiday themed multi-plot films with big casts.
NYE: Yes, I've realised this, but the fact they've taken Christmas kind of shot that horse in the face. Maybe, we could set the next holiday film in Britain about a British holiday, starring American people. What's a British holiday?

C: Queen's Birthday?
NYE: Perfect. Maybe the Queen could fall in love, on her birthday.

C: For one thing, it isn't her real birthday. For a second thing, she's already married.
NYE: Damn. I thought Josh Duhamel would have been quite the catch for her. Well what about that king guy from The King's Speech?

C: I'm afraid he's dead.
NYE: COLIN FIRTH IS DEAD?

C: No. The actual...never mind.
NYE: Hmmmmmmmmm. I bet there are lots of ways we can show that people really feel the love of Queen's birthday. We have to involve Katherine Heigl and Sarah Jessica Parker. And make a really photoshopped photo, filled with blue and red because that what is on the British flag - but the Americans will think it is all about them since their flag is blue and red too. Genius. And we'll also have another musical montage, because that went down a treat. Maybe we'll get Colin Firth in there, even though you say that he is dead. But I dunno, I hope he has gotten over that stutter. That could prove problematic when he's filming his love story with acting maestro Katherine Heigl.

C: You really need to stop thinking.
NYE: I've got a tagline!

C: Oh good lord.
NYE: "Even though it isn't really the Queen's birthday, you can still find right royal love on this holiday."

C: And just when I thought you couldn't get much worse than 'Let love be your resolution'

What I got:

Reviews Round Up: Skyline, Devil, Life As We Know It.

Skyline

There are many reasons why a few people who are more skilled in the visual effects area shouldn't make a whole movie themselves. Skyline is definitely one of them. The visual effects are great, I'll give it that, but the rest of the movie? Not so much. It's an alien invasion flick. Oops, I should have said *SPOILER ALERT*. This movie doesn't make any attempt to avoid all the clichés that you usually see in these types of movies. Instead, it takes everything you've ever seen before, gets some below average actors to act it out, and throws a whole lot of nice effects just to keep the audience mildly interested. The only thing is, the finale is so stupid it was as if the aliens had thought of it themselves. Which is a shame because, up until then, the movie wasn't 'so bad it's funny'. That ending made me laugh. I just wish I knew why the aliens were doing what they were doing, and I also wish we left the same stock characters we had to deal with the entire movie. They weren't exactly the heroes that could have made this movie a little bit better.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

Devil

'From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan'. Judging by his latest works, that's not something that you ought to be throwing out there as the main marketing tool for a movie. The great thing about that one sentence is the fact that Shyamalan had little to do with the movie, apart from the fact that he wrote the story that goes with it. Devil didn't exactly make me change my opinions on Monsieur Shyamalan, but it did show that he can still write a good story, with a lot of suspense and tension. Like similarly themed 127 Hours and Buried, this film makes good use of it's claustrophobic premise, but it doesn't really take off like the others do. It's kinda scary, yes, though it did feel a bit like Paranormal Activity, and it did drag in some places. The ending feels a little too 'Hollywood', as it tries to get all sentimental and emotional, but it's a satifying ending to what is essentially a 'whodunnit' tale. There were a lot of flaws within this film, but I felt the payoff was worth it. I'm actually looking forward to what the rest of the series will bring.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

Life As We Know It

As I said in last week's 'What's Happening Where I Am', I feel guilty (and somewhat ashamed) to say that I really enjoyed Life As We Know It. Okay, yeah, I admit it was quite predictable and pretty much the same as every other romantic comedy Katherine Heigl has ever been involved with. But I had a good time watching it, and I even cried a little bit as well. And with a baby that cute, how could I resist? Seriously, get over it, it's not that bad. I do admit I was in the mood for a romantic comedy (especially after watching the two other movies in this post). I wasn't in the mood to be challenged intellectually. Surprisingly, Katherine Heigl wasn't that annoying (like she was in Killers). And Josh Duhamel was...uh...Josh Duhamel. I actually think this is a movie that can be easily enjoyed by the most part of the female variety. But if you ain't going into this with an open mind, it will probably suck for you. Which is a shame, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

DVD--Killers

or: Katherine Heigl in another rom-com.

One word to sum it up: Laughable.

When will Katherine Heigl stop? She is quickly becoming the next Jennifer Aniston. I never watched Grey's Anatomy, but if she was turning down Emmy awards for it then she must have been good. And she left that show to star in all these rom-coms, where she plays pretty much the same character. No, honey, it's not good for your career. The critical flop of Killers should have been enough evidence to back that up. Because the only thing worse than reteaming Katherine Heigl and her The Ugly Truth director Robert Luketic is adding Ashton Kutcher to the mix.

Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) is just your average, undercover, government-hired super-assassin accustomed to a life of exotic European locales, flashy sports cars and even flashier women. But when he meets Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl), a beautiful, fun-loving computer tech recovering from a bad break-up, he finds true love...and happily trades international intrigue for domestic bliss. Three years later, Spencer and Jen are still enjoying a picture-perfect marriage - that is, until the morning after Spencer's 30th birthday. That's when Spencer and Jen learn he's the target of a multi-million dollar hit. Even worse, the hired killers have been stalking the happy couple for years, and could be anyone: friends, neighbors, the grocery store clerk, even that crabby old guy shuffling across the street. Now Spencer and Jen are on the run for their lives. As their suburban paradise turns into a paranoid game of dodge-the-bullet, they must find out who wants Spencer dead and why, all the while trying to save their marriage, manage his in-laws, keep up neighborly appearances...and just plain survive.

This movie is oddly fun...that is after you dig three feet deep under the boringness of it all to find it. It takes aaaaaages to find out where it's going and actually start. When it does get going, it unfortunately succumbs to badly put together action sequences and lacklustre dialogue. Weaving a pregnancy scare into all of this is not only a cheesy but a rather sad way to try and get the audience to feel for the particularly unlikeable and wooden characters. Killers tries so hard to be every genre it can be: light comedy, romance, action, thriller, drama...but it fails in it's execution. The whole thing is bogged down by a particularly unfunny and boring script and actors who can't be bothered trying to lift the material.

Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher have no chemistry, which really lets this film down. I think that comes from the fact that Kutcher just didn't feel like acting in this, and instead put on his 'best' assassin impression and went a long for the ride. Catherine O'Hara has a disturbing character--some sort of wild alcoholic--which was bordering on being like the stoned mother out of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Tom Selleck, is probably the best of them all, because he is the only one who appears to be taking this film seriously. To be perfectly honest, this movie is kinda fun, and it was a lot better than I thought it would be. But really, Killers is dull and everything a movie shouldn't be: unlikeable, resorting to strange ways to grab your attention, and laughably stupid.


THE VERDICT: Extremely light material, which is snowed under by layers of dullness, thanks to a chemistry-less relationship between Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl.

4/10