DVD - No Strings Attached

Romantic comedies. Arguably the most hated upon genres of film out there at the moment. Many people would put that down to the fact that we are all too cynical to even care about Jennifer Aniston finding the man of her dreams or having Gerard Butler falling in love with someone even though that is against his nature. But you know what I think it is? It's too hard to watch a romantic comedy because we're all jealous of how predictable these people's lives are. And, well, I guess we are all jealous of the fact that these people are in love. Sweet, sugary, syrupy love.

So instead of watching people being all happy because they're in love, what do we watch in a romantic comedy these days?

We watch people having sex. Because instead of being in a sweet, sugary, syrupy loving relationship, these people are 'sex friends'. Therefore, we skip all of the cute little dates, the many gift-giving ceremonies, and all of those painful kisses in the rain. They don't mean anything. Watching sex friends on film, however, means something. Because, on the off chance that the pair forget something, we could have a sequel featuring an infant. Which would be very entertaining, indeed.

Anyway, the latest film in the ongoing 'sex friends' trend is No Strings Attached. Starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. Which is where we have our first problem: a lot of people hate Ashton Kutcher, and a lot of people love Natalie Portman (in that respected actress kind of way). Don't worry. Kutcher will be Kutcher, but Portman is Portman. And that's how this film has class.

The story, of course, is about two people who decide to ditch the seriousness of a relationship for sex. Emma (Portman) is a medical resident in LA, who has seen Adam (Kutcher) a few times since a summer camp that they shared together when they were kids. One night Adam discovers that his father (Kevin Kline) has shacked up with his girlfriend (Ophelia Lovibond), and Adam decides to get drunk and call every woman in his phone, ending up passed out in Emma's room. And thus, their 'relationship' begins. Emma doesn't have a good handle on her emotions, and decides that starting a serious relationship with Adam is just a plain bad idea. Instead, they use each other for the sex.

I bet you've already guessed what happens at the end. I ain't gonna ruin it for you by saying whether or not your prediction is true. But yeah, No Strings Attached is a pretty straight forward movie. It doesn't try to be anything different and there are those cringe-worthy predictable moments that always pop up in films like these. One thing I do have to say, though, is that this handles the whole 'sex friends' thing a lot better than Love and Other Drugs. Because, unlike that movie, this one actually knew what it wanted to be. It didn't want to be a medical drama crossed with soft-core porn crossed with a love story of sorts. It just wanted to be a cute story about a relationship that isn't serious, even though one party wanted it to be. That doesn't come without some cute moments either. I mean, after watching this film, I want some guy to bring me cupcakes and make me a period mix CD. Seriously, that's like, the best idea I've ever heard.

No Strings Attached certainly isn't a great film, but I really did enjoy it. I'm willing to put that down to the fact that I'm going through a bit of a Natalie Portman phase at the moment. She was really adorable in this movie, even though she wasn't supposed to be. I actually did feel a little sorry for Ashton when she kept brushing him off, and it takes a good actress to make anyone feel sorry for Ashton. Speaking of him, he was average, pretty much as good as you could expect. I really liked the supporting cast, even though they didn't get a lot of time to shine. Greta Gerwig really impressed me with her lovely performance in the otherwise unlovable Greenberg, and she's still as lovely here. Olivia Thirlby was so underused it wasn't funny. Seriously, give her some better stuff! Kevin Kline was amusing as Adam's father. Ophelia Lovibond was really cool too, in a stereotypical way. Lake Bell's character, however, really cheesed me off, for some unknown reason.

You can expect what you want to expect from No Strings Attached. You can let yourself think the worst of this because it's an Ashton Kutcher comedy. You can feel like it has some class because Natalie Portman is in it. Truth is, the concept itself is already dated, but the film is very simple. And this time, simplicity works.

THE VERDICT: It is a funny and sassy rom-com, plagued by many of the usual downfalls in the genre. Natalie Portman's star power gets us through.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

DVD--Killers

or: Katherine Heigl in another rom-com.

One word to sum it up: Laughable.

When will Katherine Heigl stop? She is quickly becoming the next Jennifer Aniston. I never watched Grey's Anatomy, but if she was turning down Emmy awards for it then she must have been good. And she left that show to star in all these rom-coms, where she plays pretty much the same character. No, honey, it's not good for your career. The critical flop of Killers should have been enough evidence to back that up. Because the only thing worse than reteaming Katherine Heigl and her The Ugly Truth director Robert Luketic is adding Ashton Kutcher to the mix.

Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) is just your average, undercover, government-hired super-assassin accustomed to a life of exotic European locales, flashy sports cars and even flashier women. But when he meets Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl), a beautiful, fun-loving computer tech recovering from a bad break-up, he finds true love...and happily trades international intrigue for domestic bliss. Three years later, Spencer and Jen are still enjoying a picture-perfect marriage - that is, until the morning after Spencer's 30th birthday. That's when Spencer and Jen learn he's the target of a multi-million dollar hit. Even worse, the hired killers have been stalking the happy couple for years, and could be anyone: friends, neighbors, the grocery store clerk, even that crabby old guy shuffling across the street. Now Spencer and Jen are on the run for their lives. As their suburban paradise turns into a paranoid game of dodge-the-bullet, they must find out who wants Spencer dead and why, all the while trying to save their marriage, manage his in-laws, keep up neighborly appearances...and just plain survive.

This movie is oddly fun...that is after you dig three feet deep under the boringness of it all to find it. It takes aaaaaages to find out where it's going and actually start. When it does get going, it unfortunately succumbs to badly put together action sequences and lacklustre dialogue. Weaving a pregnancy scare into all of this is not only a cheesy but a rather sad way to try and get the audience to feel for the particularly unlikeable and wooden characters. Killers tries so hard to be every genre it can be: light comedy, romance, action, thriller, drama...but it fails in it's execution. The whole thing is bogged down by a particularly unfunny and boring script and actors who can't be bothered trying to lift the material.

Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher have no chemistry, which really lets this film down. I think that comes from the fact that Kutcher just didn't feel like acting in this, and instead put on his 'best' assassin impression and went a long for the ride. Catherine O'Hara has a disturbing character--some sort of wild alcoholic--which was bordering on being like the stoned mother out of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Tom Selleck, is probably the best of them all, because he is the only one who appears to be taking this film seriously. To be perfectly honest, this movie is kinda fun, and it was a lot better than I thought it would be. But really, Killers is dull and everything a movie shouldn't be: unlikeable, resorting to strange ways to grab your attention, and laughably stupid.


THE VERDICT: Extremely light material, which is snowed under by layers of dullness, thanks to a chemistry-less relationship between Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl.

4/10