Welcome to the final part of my official Oscar predictions, the big one that this 2013 series of Annual Awards Nerdism has come down to. Tonight, I'll be looking at the Acting and Best Picture awards, complete with poetry. Enjoy!
PAST PREDICTIONS: Sound and Design, 'Bests' and Visuals, Writing and Directing
Just in case you need a refresher on the rankings:
Sparkling Silva - Who I want to win.
'Overjoyed' David - Who will win.
Loopy Looper - Who definitely won't win.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook / Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln / Hugh Jackman in Les Miserables / Joaquin Phoenix in The Master / Denzel Washington in Flight
There's no way this category can possibly surprise,
Daniel Day-Lewis is the winner in everyone's eyes,
Hugh Jackman may have been the perfect Jean Valjean,
Joaquin Phoenix may think that awards are wrong,
Bradley Cooper did everything right,
Denzel probably won't win for Flight,
But there's simply nothing they can do,
Day-Lewis will be adding another Oscar to his two,
For he is pretty much Abraham Lincoln,
And a surprise win would be wishful thinkin'.
I would love for Daniel Day-Lewis to not win for this one (although I haven't seen Lincoln still so I can't judge), but that's not going to happen. There's a sliver of hope for Bradley Cooper if he were to ride on the Silver Linings Playbook wave, even though he lost the Spirit award today. He's still the best thing about that movie. By far. I'm more on Team Jackman, though.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty / Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook / Emmanuelle Riva in Amour / Quvenzhane Wallis in Beasts of the Southern Wild / Naomi Watts in The Impossible
This category caters for the young and old,
But it is pretty hard to tell who'll take the gold,
Naomi Watts brings up the rear,
Quvenzhane Wallis is the spoiler to fear,
Jennifer Lawrence has won most of the awards,
But Jessica Chastain has won lots on her own accord,
While it is very much a race between these two,
Picking Riva seems like the thing to do,
Since all of the others have many chances left,
Riva should win for her beautiful portrayal of death.
This is a very difficult category because there are likely winners coming from every corner. Jennifer Lawrence supposedly has the award locked up but I don't want to believe it since I'm not the hugest fan of her performance in Silver Linings Playbook and she just doesn't seem like a clear winner. Jessica Chastain is supposedly her arch-nemesis in this race and she looks like a better winner, especially because she won just about every critics award (but that didn't mean too much for Kathryn Bigelow). However, as much as I love J-Chas, I can't see her winning just yet. I do, however, envision Emmanuelle Riva winning, which may seem like a longshot to some but again, I'm not dismissing this whole Amour takeover. Let's be honest here - Riva is by far the most deserving. I'll probably end up being wrong, but I'm not sold in Jennifer Lawrence winning tomorrow.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Alan Arkin in Argo / Robert De Niro in Silver Linings Playbook / Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Master / Tommy Lee Jones in Lincoln / Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained
How to pick a winner when they've all won before?
And there aren't even any surprise awards to go to Amour,
Long ago this was Leo DiCaprio's to win,
But his spot was taken by Alan Arkin,
There won't be an acting award for Argo,
But there might be one for Robert De Niro,
His gold lining will make it three,
Though he could be beaten by Tommy Lee,
This would only make Jones sad of course,
But Philip Seymour Hoffman is the dark horse,
I think they'll go for Christoph Waltz again,
For being Django's bounty hunter friend,
Hopefully he has the award within his reach,
Because all I want is another Waltz acceptance speech.
I'm going to put my money (lol, wut money) where my mouth is and wager that Christoph Waltz will take the award. I mean, he's taken the Golden Globe and the BAFTA, and the only reason he didn't get the SAG was because he wasn't nominated - thanks to the down-to-the-wire release date for Django Unchained. So he's looking like the best prospect out of a wide open field. However, I can see Tommy Lee Jones taking it away because he just seems like the kind of performer the Academy would go for. I have heard whispers about De Niro and Hoffman being possible winners, and I definitely wouldn't dismiss them. The only person I would dismiss is Alan Arkin. I could be wrong about that, though.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams in The Master / Sally Field in Lincoln / Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables / Helen Hunt in The Sessions / Jacki Weaver in Silver Linings Playbook
I don't really need to put this into a rhyme,
Anne Hathaway has won every time,
And certainly nothing will change,
There's no one close in range,
This isn't Amy Adams' year,
Jacki Weaver's presence leaves nothing to fear,
They certainly won't go for Helen Hunt,
Sally Field seems like an unlikely punt,
While Hugh Jackman won't win his,
Anne Hathaway will fly the flag for Les Mis.
LOL to anyone who thinks that Anne Hathaway won't win. And LOL to anyone who thinks she doesn't deserve it.
Best Motion Picture of the Year
Amour / Argo / Beasts of the Southern Wild / Django Unchained / Les Miserables / Life of Pi / Lincoln / Silver Linings Playbook / Zero Dark Thirty
Here we are, the Best Picture of the Year,
It seems that Argo will get the most cheers,
Even without a Best Director nom,
Which could be where it will all go wrong,
Les Mis probably won't hit the right note,
Life of Pi will miss this boat,
Beasts of the Southern Wild was a nice debut,
But it's chances here are small and few,
I still think there'll be a surprise from Amour,
Though Lincoln's chances are coming to the fore,
Silver Linings Playbook is the big entry from Weinstein and Co,
And could look to take it from Argo,
But my favourite has had a lot of hate,
Zero Dark Thirty seemed to be the favourite out of the gate,
As the season has gone on people have liked it less,
So it won't be the big winner in the press.
This is almost certainly Argo's, but I still don't see it as a clear winner. It is quite the bummer that I don't get to see this until the day after the Oscars. I haven't seen Lincoln and Life of Pi either - they just didn't entice me enough to get my ass over to the cinema. Out of the others, though, I'd rank them like this:
6. Beasts of the Southern Wild
5. Les Miserables
4. Silver Linings Playbook
2. Django Unchained
1. Zero Dark Thirty
I suppose it is quite the controversial choice to have Zero Dark Thirty topping the range, but it is just everything I want in a movie. Plus, it is possibly the most challenging (aside from Amour) of all the nominees, so if it won, I'd be immensely happy. This is Argo's to lose, though, and I wouldn't be surprised if either Lincoln or Silver Linings Playbook took it away.
What do you think? Who do you think will take out these awards?