Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A Conversation with Jack and Jill
CHRISTOPHER: After going through an entire conversation with Safe House sticking a gun in my face, I think it's high time that I talk to the multi-award winning Jack and Jill. What an honour. So, Jack and Jill, how does it feel to have so many accolades to your name?
JACK AND JILL: It feels GOOD!
C: Why do you feel the need to yell at me in a really high-pitched voice? I'm right next to you.
JAJ: I just want you to realise how dumb you look because you don't have as many awards as me!
C: That's right, I don't.
JAJ: Shame on YOU!
C: No no, I have no shame. As you can plainly see, I'm a man being a man. You are a man being a woman. And also being a man. Both of which are really silly.
JAJ: Silly?! You don't know the meaning of silly!
JAJ: No you wouldn't! That's not possible! Al Pacino is one of my stars!
C: And he calls himself 'Dunkaccino' in it.
C: And he pretends to be in love with Adam Sandler dressed as a woman.
JAJ: That is totally fine! I'm all for equality!
C: So that's why you have a whole lot of offensive jokes to spurt out?
JAJ: They're FUNNY jokes!
C: Nope. They're silly jokes.
JAJ: Your face is a silly joke.
C: That was a silly joke.
JAJ: You're a silly joke.
C: Is that seriously all you can come up with?
JAJ: Nope. I'll tell you a joke. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
JAJ: Because he felt crummy.
C: Wow. You didn't just get that from Googling 'lame jokes'.
JAJ: That's right, I didn't. But Googling 'lame jokes' is actually really helpful. That's how my script was written.
C: Do you want to hear my joke?
JAJ: What's that?
C: How did Jack and Jill wind up with so many awards?
JAJ: Because I'm the best Adam Sandler film EVER?!
C: Because all of the awards it won were Razzies! HA.
C: Thank goodness, I found a way to shut Adam Sandler up. For five minutes.
JAJ: That's My Boy is in cinemas now! Y'all have to go see it because no-one else has!
What I got: