Saturday, March 10, 2012

An Ode to Ambition

"When there is a will, there is a way..."

Anyone heard that line before? It is one of my favourite clichéd, life lessons in one sentence kind of lines. Why? Because I have lived by it as much as I can.

Take for example, the time when my favourite horse Katie cut her leg open when she got caught in a fence. While my parents agreed to not put her down, they didn't hold much hope for her. Basically, it was me who kept her from going back to her former home. Every morning, I'd get up and rub honey on the wound. When she got a bit better, I started riding her in light work. When we got tired of that, I started jumping her to stretch her leg. And where could we go from there? Maybe to the races. Now she'd never been the fastest horse. And I had this thing where my favourite horses would always be the slow ones that would eventually leave us. But I thought that Katie might have something in her. People would always take one look at her leg and tell us that it was cruel to race her - but if we didn't, she would have gone crazy. She went on to win two races.

While I'm the first to admit I wasn't the driving force behind her winning two races (although I did take the two bottles of wine we got from them, which remain unopened in my room), there were a great deal of things involved that made the two victories ever so sweet. Drive, hard work, passion, love, but most of all, ambition.

Right now, I'm at the beginning of my second to last year of high school. It is like I'm standing in a city, looking up at the skyscrapers, and wondering how the heck I'm going to get to the top. And that scares me. I'm not the kind of girl who looks to the past and hopes for it to replicate itself. I am the kind of girl who always looks into the future - as you may be able to tell with my refusal to look at just highly-revered older films as the best films of all time, I seek out the new stuff and predict that they'll have a similar future. I worry about the future often. I worry that maybe things won't go right, that I won't get what I want. And most of the time, I don't. But there's this thing called ambition. Sometimes, it never gets fulfilled. But on the occasional chance that it does, the failures in the past and the work put into that fulfilment always outweigh anything in my world.

At the risk of sounding self-obsessed, I'll admit that I have achieved quite a bit in the last year or so. Someone actually said to me "what is there left for you to achieve?" They were sweet achievements too. I had spent a whole lot of time wondering how I could be better at what I do, thinking I wasn't good enough, but not giving up. I don't give up unless I have a really good reason to. I do think pessimistically sometimes, but is pessimism going to get me the results that I want? No. Realism might. More often than not, though, 'when there is a will, there is a way' got the better of me.

One thing that is going to test my ambition, though, is a new job which I got earlier this week. I got announced as the director of our school production. I'd half-heartedly put my name down the week before, thinking I would not get it. I had very good reason to think that way - usually year 13s, not year 12s, are chosen for such a job and to be honest, unless you read the local paper, I'm not that well known around the school. But here, it has happened, and I have a big future to look ahead to now.

This is not our average kind of school production. There's a much bigger budget, we have a bigger hall, a bigger production to do. When it gets going, it is going to be every single night, overseeing everything. I'm not going to have a life outside of school at all. Somehow, I don't mind all that much. Sure, my ultra-secret project will have to be delayed and this blog won't get as much love as it used to (which is a shame, I was hoping for some LAMMYs this year, haha). But every time I've been in a production, I've loved getting on stage after all of that hard work. And I know that this time, my ambitions will be fulfilled.

Plus, this is good for what I want to do when I 'grow up'. Yeah, I still want to be a director of films. Mainly because I don't want to be in a job that feels like a routine. I want to be in a job where ambition is the best way you can succeed. I'm an ambitious wee lassie, and it would take a lot for me to give up.

After all, if a guy like Michael Bay can make shit-tacular's like Transformers: Dark of the Moon, then who says I can't pick up a camera and shoot some robots?

I always feel bad about posting personal things, but I felt like this needs to be said. Soooooorry!

18 comments:

  1. Daww, this is a lovely post! I know your production will go well, wish I could see it! As long as you keep trying new things, and exploring new ideas, you'll always be finding there is more that you want to achieve. We never stop trying to achieve. I'm in my final year of uni, and I have a choice between another course, finding a job or trying my hand at freelancing, and I can't wait!!!

    (I have to ask this, because whenever I think of Peter Pan, I think of the Disney musical I watched growing up - is this production a musical? haha)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Good luck with whatever you do, too! I totally agree with what you sad about trying new things.

      As far as I know, it is a musical :)

      Delete
  2. Great post. I love these personal, in-depth revelations, and it's great when people choose to share them. Don't apologise for posting something personal, because that's what makes blogs unique: personality.

    Good luck with the production Stevee, I want to hear all about it. If your schedule means less blogging, then so be it. The best directors - stage or film - are the ones that persist with dedication and effort, always standing and never sitting, always thinking and never resisting. Take my advice, Stevee: Make it your fucking masterpiece.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trust your cast and crew, let your vision shine through!

      Delete
    2. I love reading personal posts, I wish people did them more often!

      I imagine I'm not going to get a lot of sleep in the next few months. I'll get so many ideas! And it shall hopefully be a masterpiece!

      Delete
  3. Oh this is lovely. I love your personal posts. I hope your production is absolutely amazing. Also that your directing dreams come true :D
    I directed a one-act play in 5th grade once and the teacher said I'm a good director :P Haha, I had talent then. But still, those things stick. And you have so much knowledge- I'm sure you'll be awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!

      Ooh, you directed at such a young age! I just put on fake French accents for all the plays I did back then. You're right though, those things do stick!

      Delete
  4. Hey Stevee! Stoked to hear you got production manager! Well done! You're going to be awesome at it I bet! I'll have to come back to Dannevegas to watch it! :) I assume by bigger hall you're performing in the town hall? That'll be totally rad!
    Ps. I liked what you're saying about ambition to, cos it really related to stuff I've been mulling over... ambition, a positive drive, and hard work will get you as far as you want it to go!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it is at the town hall this year - pretty exciting!
      And that is exactly right!

      Delete
  5. Stevee, you don't need to apologise, I always like personal posts, as I get to know the person behind a blog better!
    First of all, congrats on the job! Second of all, don't worry about it; I know it must be terrifying to be in charge of so many things and have so much responsibility and work to do, but it is worth it in the end, trust me! I was in your shoes a couple of years ago (not the same job, but I still had to manage a huge project), and I had a lot of bad times, but the results were much more better than those down moments.
    It's good that you have ambition and passion for what you do- that is what you need in order to make it and it will help you immensly in the future!
    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why I love personal posts too!
      I know there will be bad times (as there were when I was just acting in them), but the result will be great.
      And yes - that's exactly right!

      Delete
  6. Congratulations. I really hope you have good luck with this, but somehow i doubt you will need it ;)

    And like others have said you don't need to apologize for this post. 99% of the posts you make are film related, so i think a more personal post very now and then is fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I'll no doubt need some good luck along the way!
      Yes, I think personal posts are good every now and again. As long as they don't turn into rant fests...

      Delete
  7. I agree, this is a lovely post! I wish you all the best with the production, I'm sure that you're quite excited and you will make it awesome. Don't worry about blogging less. That will make us look forward to each new post even more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Hopefully that is the case... I don't wanna lose readership!

      Delete
  8. Congrats on your directing gig Stevee. Wish you the best of luck and may you put forward a great showing :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. We are the best writing company providing Research Writing Service written by native English speakers. Our Buy Essay Writing Service are natives of English speaking countries and have undergone testing from an international language certification board to verify their proficiency in written and spoken English.

    ReplyDelete

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails