Thursday, March 29, 2012

A Conversation with Immortals

I thought 'interviewing' Immortals would be perfect right at this very moment because today we have Tarsem Singh's latest directorial effort, Mirror Mirror coming out, and also the similarly themed Wrath of the Titans hitting theatres. Yeah, it is another bad film, but I have fun with them being the way they are. So yeah.

If you're unsure about what the hell this post is going to be about, basically I have an interviewer, Christopher (a.k.a the name of my dream ginger cat that I'm not allowed until I leave home) who interviews a movie. It is light-hearted fun - so don't criticise me too much if my jokes aren't funny (which they usually aren't), it is too vague (which it is) or you think it is a sack full of ignorance. Cynicism isn't in this season.

CHRISTOPHER: Hi there. You look look very tan. Tell me, what's your secret?
IMMORTALS: CGI. Or maybe it is just the fact that you sir, are so pale.

C: I suppose that's a justifiable reason. Or that I'm not a Greek God.
I: That too. Maybe you've picked the wrong career. Go throw some stones about or carry buckets of water up steep mountains to your homestead, you'll get very fit like myself. I understand that in your time you don't just get blessed with a perfect body. Now, don't worry about that tan, the CGI will do that for you. Just get some gold armour and a sword and you will be one of us. 

C: I don't think I would be that brave, though.
I: Oh don't worry, all you have to do is look angry and yell really loudly when you slice someone's head off. There's nothing to it.

C: Okay then. If I ever happen to be transported to 1228 BC I will take that advice on board. Now for you to give some advice to the readers...what exactly are you about?
I: What do you mean by that?

C: What is your story?
I: Oh, the story. Do you think that your readers care about the story? Because I think all they'd care about is the way I look and the action sequences.

C: That may be so, but these readers are a smart bunch. Looks will only get you so far...
I: Alright. It is about Gods and Titans. The Gods must stop the titans. And a young peasant named Theseus is the only one who can do that. So he has the godly task (hahaha, you get it?) of trying to save the world.

C: Sounds a bit like Clash of the Titans, if you ask me.
I: Clash of the Titans sounds like me, I do not sound like Clash of the Titans. And I do not look like Clash of the Titans. I am better than Clash of the Titans. 

C: Well at least there probably isn't that much of a chance of you getting a sequel, then.
I: Anything is possible. That's what Theseus symbolises.

C: Ah, symbolism. No doubt a big factor which you worked on a lot.
I: Not really, no. There are more important things to do. Such as make everything look good and have good action sequences. After all, isn't that what everyone wants?

C: They're very standard values. 
I: Are  you calling the way I look 'standard'?

C: No, you look good. But there's more to just half naked men trying to fight Mickey Rourke, I tell you.
I: That's what happened in The Wrestler. And you can't tell me that's not a good movie.

C: Yes but...never mind. Henry Cavill will be saving the world next with Zack Snyder's take of Superman. Do you think he is a good fit?
I: Looks? Check. Acting chops? Check. Capability of dealing with indulgent slow motion sequences? Check.

C: Aha. So what I've gathered is that you're all about the looks, the violence, and Mickey Rourke. Anything else you want to add?
I: Something that I think will resonate with the readers who have seen Braveheart: Stand your ground! Fight for order! Fight for the man beside you! Fight for those who bore you! Fight for your children! Fight for your future! Fight for your name to survive! Fight! For immortality!

C: That was so inspirational I couldn't tell whether you were directly quoting Mel Gibson or not.
I: At least I look better than Mel Gibson.

What I got:


  1. I haven't seen IMMORTALS or CLASH OF THE TITANS or WRATH OF THE TITANS, but now would be a good time to recite a great tweet I read just today, via @darkhorizons:

    "WRATH OF THE TITANS is a mild improvement in the same way a sharp knife is better than a blunt one while undergoing castration."

    Also, on the subject of Tarsem Singh, I will be seeing his film THE FALL next week hopefully.

    1. Haha, that sound about right. Why Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes, WHY?

      And I'm seeing The Fall next week, too. What a coincidence.

  2. If the theory in the movie "Another Earth" where everyone has a replica on another planet is applied here, then Immortals' outer-space replica would be "Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen".

    Both have loads of CGI & beautiful people,good guys versus bad with puny mortals caught in between, and lord-who-knows-whats-happening-on-the-screen-coz-everthing-seems-so-busy.

    Then, there's a female version of the two. It's called "Sucker Punch".

    I know, mean. But still...

  3. I'm sure I willl watch it one day since Henry is in it and he is just so yummy :) Fun post!

  4. I love Immortals. It was one of my favorites from last year. Sure, the story leaves a little to be desired... but as a fan of mythology, I found it a lot of fun. And as you said (or Christopher, rather), it was really pretty and the action was freakin' AMAZING.

    1. I should get more into mythology, it has always interested me. But yeah, it was really pretty!

  5. I liked the movie all right. I thought the visual flair was pretty cool and the action scenes were impressive, albeit a bit repetitive by the end. The story was totally generic but whatever, at least there were titans in this movie ahah...

    1. The story was pretty generic. And yes, at least there were!

  6. HAHA Nice one Stevee

    I thought this was OK... that is all.

    Average, which looked stunning on blu-ray projected on my huge screen... I can't remember the story much though

    1. Oh gosh, it looked great on Blu-Ray, but it would look way better on a big screen!


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