Monday, July 18, 2011

Alex Pettyfer: The Next Big Teen Thing?

You remember how it was. Back in late 2008, a little 'indie' movie called Twilight came out and suddenly, everyone was liking this guy who played a grumpy old vampire. His name? Robert Pattinson. All the teenagers started fainting at the sound of his name, flying to odd places just to stalk him and kissing a poster of him every night before they went to bed...that shit got weird, trust me. This 'teen heart-throb' version of R-Pattz is going to be around for a while until the Twilight saga is finally dead and buried (I'm pretty sure it is now...we just have to wait a while for the last movies to roll around), but who do I think is going to take the cake after that? Alex Pettyfer. He's yet another good-looking British guy who seems to be taking the road to becoming a success for his looks, instead of becoming that serious actor I'm sure he's going to be.

Now, I'm sure that Alex is going to get better at acting in time, but considering everything he has starred in (Stormbreaker, Wild Child, Tormented, I Am Number Four and Beastly), I am fairly certain that it will only take one more film to be the next boy on the poster being kissed by an adolescent teenage girl at 10pm every night. Anyway, why have I chosen to talk about this guy? Because in the past couple of weeks I have watched I Am Number Four and Beastly, both huge Pettyfer vehicles, and both films which many of my 'peers' have been rushing up to rent out since their release.

First, let's take a look at I Am Number Four. This is exactly like Twilight with aliens. Produced by Michael Bay (yes, him) and directed by D.J. Caruso, who has done things like Disturbia and Eagle Eye, I Am Number Four is a loud, explosive, lighty action flick which has the all important teen romance in it. Alex plays a guy who has had to hide his 'gift' for years, because, you know, he's really an alien. This alien moves to a new town and starts a new school, falling for a bullied amateur photographer (Dianna Agron) and getting a bit bullied himself. So that's where we have our first problem. I don't think anyone would ever bully someone of Alex's rather large and totally unnatural stature, and Dianna is far too pretty to ever have people hurt her. Oh well, each to their own, I guess. The bones of the whole story is the fact that old Alex plays 'Number Four'. This is quite troublesome because Number One, Two and Three have all been killed, and he's next. Therefore he is obliged to run around hiding himself from death and get the girl in the end. Kid's stuff, really.

I'm sure I Am Number Four would have been great had it had a better script. The script was really cheesy. It was exactly like watching Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen, except with teenage girls in mind. Apparently, 'we' can watch a movie filled with senseless action sequences and explosions as long it has some cheesy sweet romance in it. Is it weird that I can't like this stuff? I probably would have had it taken it's premise and done amazing things with it. Anyway, it did have a pretty awesome soundtrack and Teresa Palmer was kick-ass as usual. As for Alex...well. Let's just say, if he's applying to be the next Robert Pattinson, then he should submit this film as his audition. He's lifeless, and seems to be going off his looks just to try and get him somewhere. Which makes me think that, even though he's 21, he should probably stop playing teenagers. Because he focuses too much on the brooding aspect of his character's age instead of giving it emotion and heart. I'm sure he'll succeed with more age appropriate character, when he can just play himself.

What I got:

 Beastly is a modern retelling of 'Beauty and the Beast'. I have some huge problems with these 'modern retellings' because they're usually over-sexed and completely lose the point of the original story. The thing with Beastly is that it could really give some people around here a reality check. The movie starts with a montage of Kyle's (Alex) morning routine...which means taking his top off and doing all of these different exercises. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought this was taken straight out of Tony's big introduction in the first episode of Skins. I was pretty dubious of the way the movie would turn out after this introduction, but then Kyle was turned into an ugly monster, which is exactly what he deserved. Of course, as the story goes he has to find true love within a year so the spell can be reversed and he can go back to being a hottie. The love he tries to get is from Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens, of High School Musical fame), who just so happens to be on some most wanted list. Yeah, it's as simple as anything.

Now Beastly isn't a very good movie at all. But I enjoyed it a heck of a lot more than I Am Number Four. I guess I just actually 'got' this one, mainly because I would love to see a few people given the ugly treatment. Anyway, as far as movies go, this one is let down by several things: a slightly cheesy script, a very predictable story and wooden acting. Alex is simply terrible in this movie, showing that he really isn't suited to the romantic lead. Vanessa Hudgens has some talent, but she squanders it here, instead choosing to be the generic teen girl with a bit of romance in her heart. Neil Patrick Harris is really entertaining though, playing a blind tutor. He's really good because he actually chose to wear opaque contacts so he couldn't actually see, making him seem less phony. Anyway, while I thought the movie wasn't that great, I just really enjoyed it. I don't know why, but I just did. Probably because it was only 83 minutes long and moved really fast.

What I got:


  1. Great write ups Stevee.

    I have only seen I am Number 4. And although i found it pretty dreadful the final 20 mins were actually pretty good, when it started to be a bit more tongue in cheek and less teen angst. Also Kevin Durand was pretty awesome!!

    Beastly looks well, er, beastly?

    Not for me although my girls would like the play on the beauty and the beast theme i guess.....

    Pattyfer is sucky in my opinion. Aren't we over these big broody teens? Don't we want to see kids actually enjoying life?

    I don't knw, I am waffling, sorry.


  2. Bahaha...Twilight-indie :)

    Anyways, I think Pettyfer is a terrible terrible actor. I've actually seen a number of his films because, well let's face it, he is pretty hot. However, god, that guy cannot act to save his life! I though I am Number Four was pretty terrible too. My friend saw Beastly and said that Red Riding Hood is like an Oscar nominee compared to it, so I will not be seeing that for a while.

    I am still one of those people who think Robert Pattinson can sort of act. So no, Pettyfer will not become the next RPatz.

  3. I think Pettyfer has no talent whatsoever. I fucking hate that he's making kids think that all you need to have a good movie is some teen sex symbols shirtless promoting some fantasy world where everything is all right ad love prevails. Get fucking real, you self indulgent cunts.

    Actually, it's probably better that you wrote this post. If I'd done something like this it would be a swear-filled rant. Mind you, the idiot who produces these movies deserves nothing less than a swear-filled rant. I'm sorry if my antagonistic ranting has disturbed you.

  4. Pettyfer has definitely been tapped by a couple of the studios as a potential 'next big thing' so I think your prediction that he could be the next Pattinson isn't far off. However, you don't have to look too far to find stories about him misbehaving on set, in interviews or in salary negotiations (the last story I read particularly mentioned the last one - he seems to be 'demanding' rather a lot of cash for these films). It seems like he's in real danger of 'biting the hand that feeds him' and if he keeps on making films that aren't that well received (neither of the films you mention here were well-reviewed) then I think he's going to have a hard time fulfilling the potential the studios obviously think he's got.

  5. Custard - The last 20 minutes were pretty alright, in comparison with the rest of the film.
    Yeah, I don't like Pettyfer either. Or these broody teens. Now, I know we have problems, and those make for some good movies, but y'all probably think I sit at home wondering why I can't marry Robert Pattinson and crying into my pillow every night because my hair straightener broke. I don't do that, by the way...

    Nikhat - Oh no, Twilight apparently was an indie film. In what universe, I don't know...
    I've seen all of Pettyfer's films, which is pretty sad, but he's been in hardly anything. He is pretty hot, but acting skills? Na.
    Rob can act...he showed that in this Brit film I watched called 'How To Be'...he just needs a bit more oomph.

    Tyler - Woah. Let's put this in a milder context: Alex Pettyfer is good looking but he can't act, so why is he famous? Ah, because he is good looking. That's all it takes, really.

    Film Intel - I've heard some crazy stories about him...he sounds like an arrogant prick. And has he ever starred in a good film? No. Yeah...he's nothing more than a sex object.

  6. See, I forgive Robert Pattinson because of How to Be (where he's kind of amazing) and his expressed love of Pierrot le fou. Alex Pettyfer ruined my favorite childhood book series and talks about his dick a lot. There's a difference, you see.

  7. Definitely a difference. Alex also has issues, considering he goes with a girl for like a week and then he's already got their name tattooed on him. That's not attractive...that's creepy.


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