"Never forget where you came from."

Film: Colombiana
Year 2011
Director: Olivier Megaton
Written by: Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen
Starring: Zoe Saldana, Jordi Molla, Lennie James, Amandla Stenberg, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, Beto Benites, Jesse Borrego, Cynthia Addai-Robinson.
Running time: 108 min.

I must admit, I watch a lot of action films. But when I was watching Colombiana, I couldn't help but think, how do people write these films? How do they write these complex and intricate action scenes where people do stuff that no human should be able to do? How do they think of all these different ways to kill people? How do they make up all of these escape routes? How do they time when each explosion is going to be? When you think about it, writing an action film must be quite hard. Except, we can't put these action writers on a pedestal just yet, because more often or not, they're so tied up in trying to create the most perfectly set up action sequences that no-one can understand that they forget the basic things, like: a proper story, proper characters, and heart. Colombiana is a perfect example of that. While it has intricately detailed action sequences, it skips out on being a proper film and instead becomes a gallery of violence with some dull, lifeless scenes thrown in between.

DVD--Death at a Funeral (2010)

or: Another remake.

One word to sum it up: Dark.

Time for a confession: I haven't seen the original Death at a Funeral. I shall go hide under a rock now. So I can't really do any comparisons between the Brit flick and the American remake. All I know is that the original was a huge hit for some reason, and it may be too soon for America to stick their teeth into it, but the results weren't that bad. My opinion could change once I see the first one, though.

Aaron's (Chris Rock) father's funeral is today at the family home, and everything goes wrong: the funeral home delivers the wrong body; a cousin (Zoe Saldana) gives her fiancé (James Marsden) a Valium from her brother's apartment, not knowing her brother is dealing drugs - it's LSD and the fiancé arrives at the funeral wildly stoned; Aaron's younger brother, Ryan (Martin Lawrence), a successful writer, flies in from New York broke but arrogant; one uncle is angry over his daughter's choice of boyfriends, and the other is cranky and coarse. Add an ovulating wife, a jealous ex-boyfriend, and a short stranger who wants a word with Aaron - what could he want? Would another death solve Aaron's problems? And what about the eulogy?

This is about what you would expect from America. There are lots of 'black' jokes thrown in and the general homophobia and other funnies that are sure to offend a certain group of people. However, it's not all that bad. There is a very fine cast which manage to keep you watching, despite the fact that the script isn't amazingly funny. Peter Dinklage, who was also in the original, reprises his role as the blackmailing midget Frank. Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence take the lead roles, and are pretty much as funny as they've always been...it just depends whether you like them or not. To add more star power, the currently cool Zoe Saldana and Tracey Morgan come along for the ride. James Marsden, however, is the standout, playing the stoned boyfriend. Gosh, that guys an amazing goofball.

If you're looking for cheap laughs that are satisfying enough, then Death at a Funeral is a good watch. It's not fulfilling or won't be winning any awards, but the cast make it worthwhile and it's an easy, laidback watch. Even if there are more stereotypes then you can shake a stick at.


THE VERDICT: An alright remake, just riding on the starpower.

6/10

DVD--The Losers

or: Ah...the winners?

One word to sum it up: Cool (as).

Even though I am always strangely drawn to adrenaline filled action films and comic book movies (I'm pretty sure like half of my Top 50 favourite movies are action films), I really thought I wouldn't like The Losers. To be honest, the name put me off a bit, and so did Zoe Saldana, who, thanks to Avatar, is now seen to be an international godess. Yeah, she's a good actress, but there's no need for her to walk around in films like she is Megan Fox or something. However, I secretly hoped for the day when I could use the following cliched line to describe the film: "The Losers is a winner!" I think that adequately sums it up.

The Losers centres around the members of an elite Special Forces unit sent to the Bolivian jungle on a search-and-destroy mission. But the team-Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Jensen (Chris Evans), Roque (Idris Elba), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Oscar Jaenada)-soon find that they have become the target of a deadly double cross instigated by a powerful enemy known only as Max (Jason Patric). Making good use of the fact that they’re now presumed dead, the group goes deep undercover in a dangerous plot to clear their names and even the score with Max. They are joined by the mysterious Aisha (Zoe Saldana), a beautiful operative with her own agenda and capable of scoring a few points of her own. If they can take down Max and save the worlds at the same time, it’ll be a win-win for the team now known as 'The Losers'.

I really, really enjoyed The Losers. More than a girl my age should, I might add. It has everything the average action fan could want: a really cool direction style which takes some inspiration from the original comic to make it shine; a truly great cast who don't get lost in everything that is happening and actually remember to act; and, well, it's unrelentingly violent, which proved to be a little too much for me, but I'm sure others will absolutely relish in it. The characters are what really make this movie, though. They are all extremely different, which makes for a colourful ensemble which are a delight to watch...even if one or two times I didn't know why they were shooting at someone or blowing something up.

You wanna know why I really enjoyed The Losers? The character of Jensen, who is played by Chris Evans. He is hilarious; a super intelligent nerd who likes role-playing. Trust me, Jensen makes the movie. Of course, the film's success doesn't just lie with a single character, but if you remember anything from the movie, it'll be Jensen. And then you are likely to remember how awesome it is, how mind-blowingly violent it is, and if you're a guy, probably how hot Zoe Saldana is. It's not a movie which breaks boundaries in terms of action films, but it sure is worth the watch.

THE VERDICT: A fantastically made action films which does have a little too much going on, but ultimately satisfies the viewer thanks to a great ensemble cast.

8/10