DVD--Machete

or: Killing people!!!

One word to sum it up: Violent.

Who knew that the fake trailer shown before Grindhouse would make a full length film? Well well well, amazingly, it did make a movie lasting 100 minutes. Machete. You'd think, from Robert Rodriguez's previous attempt at malevolent violence with Planet Terror, he'd go absolutely full on here. And, well, he did. You know a film really doesn't take itself seriously when five people get their heads chopped off in the first five minutes. But the problem is, even though you can't take the film itself seriously, the film actually seems to take itself seriously.

I expected a lot of fun from this film, which certainly came through in it's non-stop violence, but it all seemed so unhappy. Maybe I'm too young to get all the jokes or something, but this film seemed almost too set on trying to be good instead of awesome. I wanted awesome, not a bloody critical delight. Somehow, though, this film won positive reviews from the critics, which leads me to wonder how it got there. It's a good, entertaining film, but it's just not as outrageously funny as I had hoped it would be. However, Robert Rodriguez did a perfectly good job of capturing an old, grotty style of action violence which was pretty fun to watch. Heads were severed, bodies were chopped in half and that end fight was pretty damn exciting. Did any of it make sense? I can't say I got the entire gist of it, mainly because of all the characters coming in and out of it, but what did you expect from a movie like this?

The story is really messy, even though it seems perfectly straight forward on paper: Machete (Danny Trejo) was betrayed and set-up by his boss, resulting in his wife and child being murdered by drug kingpin Torrez (Steven Seagal). Now, in Texas, Machete resurfaces when hired to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), an extreme advocate against illegal immigration. Once again betrayed and set-up, Machete plots his revenge against the men who've wronged him with the help of resistance fighter Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), ICE Agent Sartana (Jessica Alba), and the shotgun-toting Padre (Cheech Marin). Yeah, it's pretty average material. Considering the Z-grade nature of the project, it is just right. Robert Rodriguez seems to have a lot of fun putting as much cheese as he can in this story. Which is cool, because cheesiness is damn entertaining to me.

The characters are all pretty interesting, even though the only really outrageous one is Machete. Danny Trejo, who has been a zillion straight to DVD movies which I've never even heard of, is a perfect fit for this character. He's a character of very little words, which makes him wildly interesting to watch as he runs around on his little mission. And of course, he and I have something in common: "Machete don't text". His support is okay, but again, with the quality of this feature, the acting doesn't really matter. Robert De Niro is back (again) and is still the best actor alive, even if he hasn't got the material to back that opinion up. Jessica Alba is perhaps a little more deserving of her Razzie win for this one than she was for The Killer Inside Me, and is pretty forgettable. Steven Seagal is in his first theatrically released movies in God knows how long. Michelle Rodriguez is Michelle Rodriguez, plain and simple. Lindsay Lohan was one of the people I really had a problem with, though. I don't know how her character had any relevance to the story at all. Then again, an appearance from actress Lindsay Lohan is always good.

It's clear, with the over-the-top violence, messy storyline and barrel load of characters that Robert Rodriguez had fun making this film. I, for one, loved the style in which this film was made. The real problem was the fact that the movie wasn't amazingly fun to watch...it all seemed a bit dreary.

THE VERDICT: It shouldn't be taken seriously, but Machete tries very hard to be serious, which is precisely the problem with this otherwise violent, messy, Z-grade feature which packs some real punches.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

DVD--The Killer Inside Me

or: Violence...lots of violence.

One word to sum it up: Disturbing.

The Killer Inside Me has everything going for it. It is based on the acclaimed novel by Jim Thompson. It stars Casey Affleck, Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba, who gave particularly good performances. It is helmed by Michael Winterbottom, who also directed A Mighty Heart. It's attention to detail and stylish direction is really fantastic. However, the film itself was so empty. So, so empty. There was just a lot of killing, and when there wasn't a lot of killing there was a lot of sex, and when there wasn't a lot of violence and sex there was...um, not a lot. And, for me, violence and sex can't make a movie work.

The problem with living in a small town is the fact that everyone thinks that they know everyone. But in this case, no one really knows who the true Lou Ford (Casey Affleck) is. On the outside, he appears to be just a normal sheriff's deputy. On the inside, however, he is a disturbed man with a killer instinct. After beating a prostitute (Jessica Alba) he was sent to run out of town, he visits her for daily sex and decides that he may be in love with her. But he is also in a relationship with Amy Stanton (Kate Hudson), who he decides he will elope with later. Just for now, though, he is happy killing people, and as the murders pile up, signs start to point to the seemingly innocent Mr. Ford.

Lou's story is an interesting one, but unfortunately the fact that it is told in first person from his point of view causes a bit of a problem. Because Lou is so unlikeable it makes the film so hard to connect with, and pretty much lost me from the very beginning. It's a good idea, and looking into the mind of a killer is an intriguing way of telling the story. But there's such distance in the character, which just really confused me. There wasn't a clear explanation as to why he did what he did. He was just doing all this stuff and I was like "he is completely nutters!" That, alone, isn't much of an explanation for me. And that was the reason why I didn't find this film as good as I had hoped it would be.

Though the scripting, characters and context are all out of line, there is some amazing cinematography to look at. Gosh, this film was decadent. There is so much attention to detail and Winterbottom was clearly trying to make a classy noir, but there was just everything else which stopped it. I haven't read the source material, but from what I've heard it was supposed to 'unfilmable'. Winterbottom filmed the hell out of it...the actual material just didn't come to the party. However, this film is brutally violent. Not the gruesome kind of violent, just the really painful to watch kind of violence. Both of the leading ladies are involved in this, and it is so horrible to watch that you really start to question what kind of movie this is trying to be. My guess is that, with the amount of sex in this darn thing, probably a porno for sadistic people.

Casey Affleck is also a great reason to watch. His dedication to looking like a cold blooded killer was scary. From what I've seen of him, he looks like a pretty sweet guy, but here is completely devoid of sweetness. He's like the serial killer of the year. Kate Hudson is brilliant. Forget all that romantic comedy stuff she's been doing lately...she is still a fantastic actress. I really liked Amy, too, even if I felt she wasn't really in the movie enough. I don't even know why Jessica Alba won a Razzie for her role in this (but that was helped by her performances in Machete, Valentine's Day and Little Fockers). Sure, at some points she was weak, but she displayed a lot of talent in her role. Simon Baker and Elias Koteas also provided fantastic support. With the performances and direction being top notch, The Killer Inside Me failed to impress me on so many levels, and I just felt like I was watching a very psychotic movie with absolutely no heart.

THE VERDICT: Take the connectivity out of a movie and not even great performances and direction can help it up...The Killer Inside Me is just so empty.

What I hoped for:

What I got: