Top 10 reasons why Clash of the Titans is nothing but a blockbuster.

10. It has Sam Worthington in it.

Coz, you know, once you've played a giant blue person, you're a bankable star. Take note, aspiring Australian actors.

9. Liam Neeson shines like...he's been attacked by the glitter used on Edward Cullen.

He's a good actor, and that's why he is in this blockbuster. But his acting skills aren't enough. No, you have to make him look ridiculous. Even though I'm sure he was supposed to look like Zeus.

8. Memorable quotes!

"Let me loose upon them!"

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"

7. Inspirational quotes!

"One day, somebody's gonna have to make a stand. One day, somebody's gonna have to say enough."

"I'd rather die in the mud with those men than live forever as a god."

6. Men with long hair.

Long hair was sooooooooo hot back in the day. It's also soooooooooooo hot for people who like watching brainless blockbusters too. And it still baffles me why Sam Worthington gets the short hair, too.

5. Some random hot lady coming to help our hero.

Who's played by Gemma Arterton, who seems to be right at home in these sandy kinds of movies. She just pops up out of nowhere. Which I think would turn some men on.

4. Voldemort 2.0

Woops...I mean, Hades (who has hair and a nose). I just don't think Ralph Fiennes is over playing the bad guy with the strange voice.

3. All sorts of mythical creatures.

Such as the KRAKEN! You just throw in some things we have never seen before, or things that don't look particularly authentic because they have been made by a computer, and there you have it: a cash cow.

2. Throwing stuff at the screen!

Yeah, I realize that this was made in 3D, but when you are watching it on a laptop screen, it kinda seems like they are throwing stuff at the screen to try and get us to stop watching it.

1. It's a remake...


'An Epic Entertainment Spectacular!' vs. 'The Clash Begins in 3D'

...of a movie which wasn't even good in the first place. So what the hell? No one saw it. Barely anyone knows it's a remake. They just want to make the idea look really original.

Week #5 in summary...! JGL, devilishly gorgeous clothes and Playboy bunnies?

This week was probably a bit better than previous weeks have been to me. Or was that just three rewatches of some of my favourite movies??
Recap on what I watched and blogged:

• The House Bunny (2008) Anna Faris playing a dumb Playboy bunny who takes some nerds under her wing. Sound stupid? It is. 4/10


• Iron Man (2008) Robert Downey Jr. at his best in an awesome superhero movie that doesn't really have a 'superhero'. Haven't seen it? Please, for the love of God, go get it out! 10/10


• Clash of the Titans (2010) Proof that 2010 has failed in giving us lots of high quality blockbusters? Look no further than this. 4/10


• The Butterfly Effect (2004) Even though Ashton Kutcher isn't my favourite person in the world, I still enjoyed this confusing thriller. 7/10


• Waitress (2007) One of my favourite movies of all time...and also the movie that makes me the hungriest. 10/10


• The Devil Wears Prada (2006) Also one of my favourite movies of all time...and a movie which makes me get some major wardrobe envy. 10/10


• Back to the Future: Part III (1990) It was about time I watched the final installment to the trilogy, right? 6/10


• Brick (2005) Joseph Gordon-Levitt...need I say more? 8/10
  

Best movie of the week? Non-rewatch...definitely Brick.

Worst movie of the week? Clash of the Titans. Yawn.

Highlight of the week? Start to 'birthday season'!

Lowlight of the week? Being sick for the six zillionth time this year.

Clash of the Titans

I'm going to be upfront about this. I only watched just over half of Clash of the Titans. No, I didn't turn it off because of boredom (although, I probably could have), it was because the middle half of the movie wouldn't play on either of my DVD players. So I watched the start and the end, and I think I can pretty much churn out an average review on it.
Perseus (Sam Worthington) has been living his life with a family which found him and his mother washed up during a storm. He finds out that in fact his father is the powerful God Zeus (Liam Neeson). Perseus embarks on a journey to stop evil from spreading to Earth and the heavens, but can this demi-God do all of this by himself?

This film had a pretty decent cast (Worthington, Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton, Jason Flemyng and Mads Mikkelsen to name but a few), but definitely did not do much to benefit it's star power. The script is pretty weak, and it pretty much relies on all these mythical creatures to make it seem better than it actually is. While watching this, I was thinking "Hey story, I didn't see you there behind all that CGI." I can only imagine what a disaster this film would have been in 3D. Just because Avatar was mindblowing in 3D doesn't mean every other film is going to be.

Even though I do admire him, Sam Worthington was a bit weak in his role. He was on what I like to call Popcorn Auto-Pilot. Like he knows he's in some huge blockbuster which regardless everybody will see, so he will be getting the huge paycheck at the end of the day. Therefore he can just do a slack job of the role because it doesn't realy matter. I think he was just a bit miscast, and all that could save him were those perfectly carved muscles.

Boring, simple CGI-enhanced blockbuster.

4/10