Tuesday, February 22, 2011


or: Ocean's Eleven minus the cool

One word to sum it up: Tacky

What do you get when you give someone a list of all the things that should happen in a heist thriller, get a cast full of rapstars and white hotties (and Matt Dillon), and give the camera to someone who likes blue tones EVERYWHERE? Takers, the latest heist movie that tries to be Ocean's Eleven with the amount of guys in suits it has, but also tries to make acting careers out of people who don't really deserve it. Oh well, I guess every dog has it's day.

A seasoned team of bank robbers, including Gordon Jennings (Idris Elba), John Rahway (Paul Walker), A.J. (Hayden Christensen), and brothers Jake (Michael Ealy) and Jesse Attica (Chris Brown) successfully complete their latest heist and lead a life of luxury while planning their next job. When Ghost (Tip T.I. Harris), a former member of their team, is released from prison he convinces the group to strike an armored car carrying $20 million. As the "takers" carefully plot out their strategy and draw nearer to exacting the grand heist, a reckless police officer (Matt Dillon) inches closer to apprehending the criminals.

Seems like a rather run over plot idea, doesn't it? Trust me, it feels run over. It was like someone just decided to take a whole lot of ideas from similar movies and smack them into one, but they also made sure they didn't miss any of the typical heist movie components out. There was the aging cop who took more attention of his job then he did of his family, even if it didn't get him anywhere. There was the pretty white guy who rolled around in his suave suits but seemed to have all the right ideas. There was the big dude who was looking for a change but couldn't resist doing one last job. There was the big family of criminals and the girl who respected them all, no matter how terrible they were, because she was rolling in the cash they were getting.

However, there was one original thing Takers had: Hayden Christensen in a really dorky hat. Seriously, what was up with that, and while we're at it, what was up with his character? I don't quite know what they were aiming for there. The acting was just okay, some were worse than others. Chris Brown surprisingly showed a little talent, it was just a shame that his character resembled Junior off My Wife and Kids. While it has all of its two dimensional characters and flat story, Takers is some okay entertainment. Just a shame that the big finale was horribly corny, and whatever music they were playing was so pitchy my ears nearly died. One would have to wonder why they still make movies like this, but at least it wasn't a total failure.

THE VERDICT: Takers is flat in the way of characters and story, but there are some admirable scenes which keep things afloat.

What I hoped for:

What I got:

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