Saturday, July 3, 2010

Blockbusters ain't succeeding these days...

Take a look at the current US Box Office Top 10...I'll tell you what's wrong.

1. Toy Story 3 (99%)

So there isn't much wrong with this film, as it is currently rated #6 on's Top 250 (the most drastic move since The Dark Knight went straight to #1 the day it was released). At least Americans are clearly going to something good in their spare time.

2. Grown Ups (10%) No, the cast isn't grown up. This cast is ooooooooold. Really, it's just all of the people we have grown sick of in the past few years who are using this film as a 'return to form'. Sorry, guys, but I don't think a 10% Tomatometer rating is a return to form. When was the last time Adam Sandler was funny? Was David Spade ever funny in the first place? It's weird because I thought this movie might be good, but I know the only people who will like it are delinquents that I unfortunately have to recognize as my peers.

3. Knight and Day (52%)

Whilst watching the trailer in the cinema before another movie, I tasted the popcorn a lot more. So I guess what my taste buds were trying to tell me is that Knight and Day is a bit of a popcorn movie. And hey, I don't go hating on the popcorn movies, but this movie has a really hideous poster and this whole 'CRUISE' 'DIAZ' thing really doesn't float my boat. 'CRUISE' I haven't been able to take seriously as an actor since...okay, Top Gun didn't help him. 'DIAZ' needs to make up her mind on whether she wants to win an Oscar or the laughs of unintelligent people. However, this movie may work in their favour because 'CRUISE' is back in sunnies and 'DIAZ' is in a bikini, so some people win.

4. The Karate Kid (70%)

Since when have remakes been critically successful? That's all I have to say about that.

5. The A-Team (49%)

I have seen this and I would like to say that it's not as bad as some people make it out to be. Sure, it's pretty silly and it's an average action film, but would people loosen up and enjoy it?! It has a really good cast, but the always-great-looking-though-now-ripped-and-chiseled-even-hotter Bradley Cooper and the best new actor around Sharlto Copely make this film worth watching. If people are looking fun, this should be their first stop.

6. Get Him to the Greek (73%)

Surprisingly, this year hasn't churned out many good solid comedies like last year. Get Him to the Greek is probably the best to come out all year. People seem to really like Jonah Hill and Russell Brand, which is a good thing, because they are actually funny. Maybe if they were cast in Grown Ups then it wouldn't have been such a failure.

7. Shrek Forever After (57%)

The fourth and last installment to the Shrek series may have lost it's charm but audiences still came out to see it. I think the series lost everything after #2, because a Kiwi wasn't directing it. However, it's good to hear that this is better than #3. In fact, that's the best news ever.

8. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (37%)

"Quick! Lets hope that no-one sees us while we sneak out of cinemas to hide our shame in this movie!"

I haven't seen this, but it's a video game adaption, which usually means death. Despite it's attractive leads, the very chunky Jake Gyllenhaal and beautiful up and comer Gemma Arterton, it failed to wow audiences and critics alike. But really? Disney needs to stick to animation, coz I'm damn sure this live action feature hasn't done them much good. Poor Jake, all of that muscle for no figurines. I'm guessing that's the only reason why he took interest in this film.

9. Killers (12%)

Okay, so I didn't think that this film would be particularly great. But I have to admit, those posters of Katherine Heigl looked really mysterious and cool, so I was hoping this film would be sorta funny. Little did I know back then, the film also starred Ashton Kutcher, who has vanished since marrying Demi Moore, and it is Robert Luketic, who previously teamed up with Heigl for The Ugly Truth. And you know what? This film looks remarkably similar to The Ugly Truth, but with guns. Which don't necessarily make things better.

10. Jonah Hex (13%)

I was so surprised when I saw that this film hadn't been well received. I mean, it's a western, which usually equal win with critics because we don't see so many of them these days, and it also stars Josh Brolin, who is a fantastic actor. The bad news is that it does have Megan Fox in it, which I believe is the reason that audiences flocked into seeing it. I couldn't help but thinking that the trailer was borderline awkward, and hey, who wants to pay to be awkward? Or pay to listen to Miss Fox put on a terrible Southern accent she probably learnt off Girls of the Playboy Mansion.

So what's wrong with the state of the Box Office?

All but three films are 'Rotten', even though many of them showed quite a bit of promise before their release. Yet, all of these films have to sit behind a critics darling Toy Story 3 which dominates because it is family oriented and people can trust PIXAR. Not that I suggest that everyone goes and makes PIXAR-type films to get a good Box Office hit. We'll just have to wait for the release of Inception to restore faith in the fantastic Box Office hit for smart people. If any of us are left after watching these films.


  1. You should see Knight and Day, it's a lot of fun. Why can't an actress both win Oscars and make people laugh? As for the A-Team, it always shocks me when people like this movie because it's probably the worst made film of the summer. I agree it could be fun action, if only you could see any of it.

  2. I found the direction a bit too much to handle in The A-Team because it was really really fast. And as for Knight and Day, I have no idea when it comes out in NZ but it's not really my thing. Or 'CRUISE' and 'DIAZ' aren't really my thing. I'm just gonna wait for Inception instead.


You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.


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