A Conversation with Whomever Voted at the MTV Movie Awards

I didn't watch the MTV Movie Awards, and no, I wasn't particularly interested in them all. It doesn't take any shine off my boots to know that Eclipse beat Inception for the top prize. Because after all, it's just a bunch of teenage girls voting like, a million times for a movie which they think is a masterpiece. I voted, and I didn't vote for that vampire shit. I was the one who voted for Inception in every bloody category.

So anyway, I'm going to be a whole raft of made-up people explaining why the one that won was the best possible choice (just imagine the most obnoxious voice ever, and just imagine that I'm the dumbest person in the world).

(BTW, I saw X-Men: First Class today. There'll be a review up within the next couple of days, but I felt this post was a 'spirit of the moment' kinda thing, y'know?)

BEST MOVIE: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

OMG, like, Eclipse is sooooo intense. The love triangle between Bella and Edward and Jacob is sooooo realistic. I mean, Edward's a vampire and Jacob's a werewolf. Which one should Bella take? That's a huge decision for her. But I hate Bella, coz it should be me who has those two guys fighting over me. Bella is so ugly, you know what I'm saying? Edward and Jacob are so HAWWWWWT. Like, when you have people that HAWWWWT in a movie then how can it not win? Yeah, that's why it one, bitches, coz it has hot guys in it.

BEST ACTOR: Robert Pattinson - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

It was a really hard decision between Taylor and R-Pattz. They were both really amazing in their roles. I mean, I could not understand that Jesse fella in that movie about Facebook. He talked too fast. He was way better in that movie with Kristen Stewart coz she's my idol. Harry Potter is just so gay, coz he has glasses and they make his face look weird. Zac Efron shouldn't be in any other movies coz he's always Troy Bolton to me (ILY 4EVA ZAC xoxo). Anyways, I chose R-Pattz coz he's really white and he looks perfect. Taylor just got too much muscle for one girl to handle, you know what I mean?

BEST ACTRESS: Kristen Stewart - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

That Natalie Portman already won an Oscar for her performance so she don't need another one. Kristen Stewart is so amazing. She really knows how to act, coz she keeps doing weird things with her eyes and hair. That shows real acting skills. I don't even care if Natalie learnt how to dance. I could learn how to dance. As for the other chicks in this category, they don't even compare to K-Stew. Coz they ain't got two hot guys fighting over them.

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE: Emma Stone - Easy A

(this is actually me talking now) Well done, voters. At least you didn't choose Ashton Kutcher.

BEST SCARED AS S**T PERFORMANCE: Ellen Page - Inception

(back to the obnoxious people) I didn't even see Buried, Piranha, The Last Exorcism or The Roommate. So I'll just pick Inception because that movie really confused me and I'd be as scared as shit if I was in that because I wouldn't get what's happening. And OMG I'd be scared if someone blew up Paris while I was in it!!!!!!

BEST LINE FROM A MOVIE: "I wanna get chocolate wasted!" - Grown Ups

Grown Ups is like, the funniest movie since Norbit!!!!!! And I like, so totally use this line all the time because I like chocolate. ROFL!!!!

BEST BREAK-OUT STAR: Chloe Moretz

Kick-Ass was really scary to watch coz there was so much blood and they kept beating up the real hot guy who was wearing the funny green condom. But that chick who played Hit-Girl was pretty awesome. She's so young too, and I thought she owned in that movie. And like, it's really hard being 11 years old, which is why  I thought she wanted to kill so many people. I felt like we could relate there!

BEST VILLAIN: Tom Felton - HP7PT1

I was gonna vote for that Mickey Rourke fella coz I thought he was pretty mean towards plastic surgery. I mean, like, seriously? He freaks me out more than when Jacob and Bella kissed! But then I was like, no, I have watched Harry Potter so I gotta vote for that good looking blonde guy.

BEST KISS: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

I don't even care if two of the hottest chicks ever kissed in some ballet movie. I don't even care if Hermione and Harry kissed after all those years of being wizards. I don't even care if that guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun had a cheeky kiss with Juno. I don't even care if Jacob and Bella kissed. What matters is Edward and Bella kissed coz they love each other!!!! TEAM EDWARD FOR LIFE XOXO

BEST FIGHT: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

So, Inception had a fight scene without gravity? The Fighter had that cutsie chick from Enchanted battling seven annoying sisters? An 11 year old beat the crap out of some old gangster? Pffffft, that has nothing on my boy Edward going up against Victoria and Riley. Victoria was going to kill Bella! Edward did it out of true love! TEAM EDWARD FOR LIFE XOXO

BEST JAW-DROPPING MOMENT: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

Some guy cuts off his own arm? That's nothing compared to Justin Bieber! He's just so amazing. Yes, I am a Belieber! And us Belieber's have got to stick together for our boy Biebs because he's so hot! When I'm not in love with R-Pattz, I'm all for you, Justin! I love you! I want to marry you! I'm going to stalk you!

BIGGEST BAD-ASS STAR: Chloe Moretz - Kick-Ass

So, like, two years ago, I wore a purple wig to this party and it made my cheekbones look fat. And then I saw Chloe Moretz in Kick-Ass. She wore a purple wig. And her cheekbones did not look fat! OMG that is so bad-ass.

Anyway. I know that the MTV Movie Awards are a load of crap. And I'm sorry if I have offended any Beliebers, Team Edward's or chocolate wasted people with my poor characterization. Truly, I am. But you brought this on yourself.

What an R18 is Like for Someone Too Young to Watch Them

NZ isn't like America. The censorship system here is a load of crap. We have our G's and PG's, which absolutely anyone can hire or buy. Then we have our M's, which anyone could watch, but some shops which are far too strict with their DVDs say that people under 16 can't buy them, simply because the label says "Suitable for mature audiences 16 and over." But I could go and see any M rated movie at the cinemas without any trouble. Then we have an R rating, which means that people under 16 can only watch the movie if they have parental guidance. The same goes for RP13 and RP16 movies, but they are extremely rare. And of course, we have our restricted movies. First is an R13, which of course means that you have to be 13 or above to watch it legally. Following that are the R15 (very rare), R16 and the very worst, R18 movies. About 50% of the movies I watch are R16's, and I'm still a little shy of actually being 16. And to be honest, no one gives a crap about censorship anymore.

I usually refrain from watching R18 movies, since none of them are really that great unless they're directed by Quentin Tarantino or David Fincher, but the ones I have watched have mostly deserved such a strict rating. Yet, I haven't gone and shot anyone because I was so affected by the film. After watching a certain R18 film the other night, I decided I'd list some of the worst offenders of the great rating that I've seen. No, Antichrist or The Human Centipede are not of the list.

Offender One

Now, I admit, I wasn't disturbed by American Psycho's violence and killing and whatnot. Instead, I was disturbed by Christian Bale. We all know that Christian Bale is pretty much very different in every role he rakes, whether he be scarily skinny or huge and buff. But in this movie, he's just...scary. He really has fun with being this guy obsessed with status and power, and having the perfect business card with a watermark. But from the moment I saw him pulling off his facemask I was disturbed by this character. Seeing him run naked down a hallway with blood all over him after a hooker with a chainsaw only made it worse. And I do admit I let out a rather large gasp when he said he ate some of his victims brains. American Psycho is gloriously violent, even though it isn't the non-stop killing spree I'd thought it would be. So, while I wasn't so disturbed by the fact that he had heads in his fridge and likes to dance to 'Hip to be Square' before he axes a colleague, I was just disturbed by Patrick Bateman. He was an odd fellow, that's for sure.
The effect it's supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I'd probably want to go and kill people just because I want to. I might want to get a tanning bed. I could feel drawn to eating people. Om nom nom.
Actual effect on me: Since seeing the film, I really wanna get a morning routine. And "I have to return my video-tapes" is the best escape line ever.
The R18 verdict: 90% R18. I probably wouldn't rate it any less, as it is pretty graphic and the extended sex scene really doesn't do it any justice.

Offender Two

Ever since I first saw Requiem for a Dream I believe I haven't been the same. The movie literally damaged me. Now that's not because the movie is graphically violent or it has loads of sex or whatever in it. I think it's just an R18 because it is emotionally disturbing. Like, I don't ever want to turn out like any of these people. I don't want to get my arm chopped off (I must say I watched that scene through my fingers). I don't want to get addicted to diet pills because I have false hope. I don't want to turn to prostitution just because I want to pay to live in a fucked up life. I just can't stand to think that some people live like this. That's why, on the two occasions that I've experienced this movie, I cried so much it was like the world was ending. And I don't think it's so much a content issue as to why this movie is so heavily rated, it just must be because the rating people know that it isn't the most pleasant movie to watch. It was rated NC-17 because of that sex scene that happens in the middle of the film, but I don't think that adds much to the rating.
The effect it's supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I will suddenly be drawn to drugs. I'll want to lose weight via diet pills. I will do awful things just to get what I want.
Actual effect it had on me: I felt like my happy life ended after seeing this movie.
The R18 verdict: 50%. As far as content goes, it's actually not that bad. But then again, I wouldn't allow anyone under the age of 18 to watch it for their own sanity.

Offender Three

Any film depicting rape is at once worthy of the R18 sticker. Ironically, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was originally rated R16 when it was released in cinemas. However, when it was released on DVD and a lot more people started seeing it, it started receiving a lot of complaints for it's brutality, and about a month or two after the DVD was released, the rating was changed, and instead of just containing "sexual violence" it got changed to "brutal sexual violence". I'm actually glad the movie got moved up to such a rating, because that rape scene, in itself, is so graphic that it shouldn't really be seen by the young. But I could take it...twice. Apart from the rape scene, there are a few graphic murder-themed tales and scenes, as it's a very dark film. Other than that, there isn't much to complain about. I still wouldn't recommend that anyone my age watch it, though, because I know that people three times my age can't handle it.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: 'Men who Hate Women': the original title pretty much sums it up.
Actual effect on me: Even though it looks like a lot of shit goes down there, I still really really really wanna go to Sweden.
The R18 verdict: 75%. There are a few really shocking scenes scattered throughout the film, and it is a very hard film to watch.

Offender Four

Again, any movie with a rape scene is worthy of a high rating. The Poker House, a little seen gem starring Jennifer Lawrence before Winter's Bone shot her to fame, has a rather graphic, horrible rape scene in it, which gives it the R18 sticker fair and square. Like, after I saw that one scene, I just about wanted to shoot myself. It was freaking depressing to see someone who looks as fragile as Jennifer Lawrence being tormented by a big hulking guy. Other than that, the movie only has a bit of swearing, some violence, underage smoking/drug use and it's a little bit emotionally scarring. I'd totally recommend the movie though, especially coz I think I'm the only who has seen it.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I guess I should probably want to smoke more.
Actual effect on me: I learnt to stay away from my Mum's pimp. Except she doesn't have a pimp, so that lesson is pretty much useless.
The R18 verdict: 30%. The rape scene is the only thing that gets this movie the R18 rating.

Offender Five

The last R18 film I have chosen is Kick-Ass, one of my favourite movies, and one that I could watch over and over again. This rating is rubbish. I believe, if a film is to be an R18, it should have swearing, sex, lots of violence and it should be emotionally scarring. Okay, so Kick-Ass uses the word 'fuck' probably 200 times. That's R16 level, to me. There ain't much sex in this movie, as such, but there are a lot of suggestions about that matter. I think it's the violence that gets the film such a high rating, because the only reason I can think of as to why this movie would possibly be damaging is when Nicolas Cage is burning alive going "TAAAAAAAAKE COVERRRRR CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD! NOW SWITCH. TO KRYPTONIIIIIIIIIITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Yes, that was emotionally scarring. However, the violence is gloriously giddy and it's really happy just throwing around blood. What really hangs me up though is that people get really pissed when they hear someone young like Chloe Moretz using the foul language she does, because that's not okay. But yet she can kill around five people in one scene with her own bare hands and no one bats an eyelash. Because swearing is worse than killing people.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I shall want to wear a funny costume and going around killing bad people. I might want to swear all the time. I should probably get the wrong idea about superheroism.
Actual effect on me: Like Nicolas CAGE I have learnt TO put emphasis on THE wrong WORDS. I also MUST now name every CAT I see Mr. BITEY.
The R18 verdict: 10%. The violence is definitely at an R18 level, but I'm pretty sure everyone my age can handle it. Same goes for the swearing. Swearing is nothing to me anymore, as I'm pretty sure there aren't as many different swear words as their used to be.

Other notable R18 films I have seen which actually haven't really affected me:
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Machete, Reservoir Dogs, Se7en, Unthinkable, The Killer Inside Me, Perfect Blue, Harry Brown, Brooklyn's Finest, Women in Trouble, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, The Wackness.Plus, I'm a huge fan of True Blood, which is probably the biggest offender of all when it comes to the R18 sticker.

So, the point is, the R18 rating is merely a warning. People know that it isn't going to be all fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows because it's rated the highest possible censorship rating. And half the time, the content doesn't even match the rating. Bottom line is, when I finally turn 16, I'll be over the moon because I can finally go to R16 movies. When I turn 18, I'll be excited for...other stuff.

5 Favourite Screencaps meme: Kick-Ass

Last night I decided to go back to the old days and watch one of the coolest movies of last year: Kick-Ass. I'm pretty sure I have watched it at least ten times. It just never gets old and is always really funny! And it has one of my most favourite lines:

"Fuck this shit, I'm grabbing the bazooka!"

Man, that's like my line for whenever I get homework. Anyway, let's take a look at five rather colourful shots from this awesome movie!

See! I knew Nic Cage was bonkers!

And here is another collage, made by yours truly...



Better Late than Never: My Top 10 Movies from 2010

I've wondered whether I should even bother doing this list since it's now March. Then again, if the Academy can honour movies so 'late', then why can't I?
One of the movies I've chosen is classed as a 2009 film, but it came out here in cinemas in May and I finally saw it in September last year. So that's why it is here. The rest are all 2010 releases in America, and some only came out here this year, but they still get a mention.

Here are some honourable mentions:
True Grit, Nowhere Boy, The King's Speech, Winter's Bone, Me and Orson Welles, The Losers, Iron Man 2, Boy, The Hurt Locker, How to Train Your Dragon, Tangled, The Runaways, Cemetery Junction, Despicable Me, Harry Brown, Unstoppable, Tomorrow When the War Began, Easy A.

10. City Island

This tenth spot has caused me a lot of trouble. But I believe I have picked the right one in City Island. Gosh, I loved City Island. Such an underrated gem which should have been nominated for a screenplay award at the Oscars. It was that good.

9. Black Swan

I don't really need to say anymore than I have over the course of the awards season. Black Swan is beautiful. Darren Aronofsky is a master. Natalie Portman is brilliant. Mila Kunis is so goddamn good looking I want to cry.

8. 127 Hours

James Franco may have failed in hosting the Oscars, but he didn't fail in lifting this whole film on his own. Without Franco in the lead and Danny Boyle doing his amazing directing 127 Hours would have just been some weird film with a guy chopping off his arm. But no, 127 Hours suceeded in making me feel sick, making me love my arm even more and feel instantly uplifted. Too few films do that.

7. Kick-Ass

I know I'm obsessed with a movie when I watch one every day for a whole week (I am not joking). By now, everyone has forgotten about the crazy shenanigans of that 12 year old killing-machine Hit-Girl. Which is a shame because Kick-Ass is damn awesome.

6. A Single Man

I feel like this film should be a little higher up in the list, but there are only so many spots and so many films. I loved A Single Man. It was so heartbreaking and beautifully made by Tom Ford, not to mention the scene stealing jersey that Nicholas Hoult wears (haha). Jeez, everytime I think of this film I feel like crying. It's just so gorgeous.

5. Animal Kingdom



Damn, those Australians done good this time. When I first saw Animal Kingdom, I wasn't overly impressed by it, but then I saw it again and I fell head over heels for it. It has such terrific structure and narrative which gives it this 'pizzazz' which stops it from feeling like another generic crime movie.

4. Toy Story 3

How could you not love Toy Story 3? I mean, there's that scene, at the end, when Andy...(excuse me while I cry into my laptop which will explode soon since it isn't water resistant...)

3. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Scott Pilgrim vs the World is the bomb. The caffiene fuelled, eye popping, totally funny bomb. There are simply no more words I can use to describe my love for this film.

2. The Social Network

Yes, I would have rather seen this movie win Best Picture over The King's Speech. It really is the film of our generation. And I just got my 2 disc collector's edition of it! I'm so happy I could die! I finally have my eighth favourite film of all time in my hot little hands!

1. Inception

Yeah, I know how much you were expecting to see Sex and the City 2 here. Sorry to surprise you with this one being number one. I'm Stevee Taylor, I'm a Christopher Nolan-aholic, it's unhealthy, but I don't give a crap. Inception is one frickin' awesome movie, and I won't have anyone tell me otherwise.

Top 10 lessons I learned in 2010 movies.

Last year we may have seen some crap movies being released, but at least we can feel happy in saying that we have learnt 10 valuable lessons which we can apply to everyday life. Okay...maybe that is going a bit far, but once you read this, you’ll be jumping for joy that you now know these things. And my teachers say I don’t learn anything from movies...

10. ‘Women in the Middle East really wear ridiculously expensive clothes under their burqas.’

Movie: Sex and the City 2
If there is a way to get a message about female liberation into a mainstream Hollywood movie, then, by all means, make a group of Middle Eastern women wear designer clothing under their burqas and shove it in an overlong sequel to the Godmother of chick flicks. Because that is not only the most ridiculous thing ever, but it is also the funniest thing about that horrendous movie. While you’re at it, throw in whole lot of other digs on the Middle Eastern race and make a whole lot of jokes around that bad representation. Well done, you are almost as funny as a dog eating a pair of $650 Prada boots.

9. ‘Saying goodbye to toys is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.'

Movie: Toy Story 3
Luckily, I’ve never had to experience this as I just locked my toys away in my closet (where they are undoubtedly trapped up 10 tonnes of dust...ew). But watching that glorious PIXAR creation made me come to the conclusion that there is one thing I never want to do: say goodbye to my toys. So many great memories! And if I couldn’t handle watching the great parting in a movie (I think I used a whole box of tissues at the end), then I certainly can’t handle it in real life.

8. ‘Need to plant an idea during a ten hour flight? Just buy the whole airline...it’s neater.’

Movie: Inception
If you are planning to plant an idea in someone’s head, while going through many layers of dreams to get there, you are going to need a long plane ride so the mark has no idea. While you’re practical point man may suggest just buying out the whole cabin in a 747 plane, plus the first class flight attendant (who also happens to be Christopher Nolan’s cousin), there is no need to be so plain. Just make sure you have a rich Japanese businessman on the team so he can buy the airline, because ‘it seemed neater’. Thank him by getting him shot by the mark’s subconscious, having a woman-whose-actually-a-man hit on him and then sending him to limbo, where he gets remarkably wrinkly. Once he wakes up, stare at him for ages, and then he will get you back to your family. What can we say? You get your time’s worth with this guy.

7. ‘Vampires are made out of cement.’

Movie: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
In the first movie, we discover that vampires can go out in the sunlight and not burst in flames. In the second movie, we discover that werewolves don’t like to wear shirts. In this movie, we discover that when you kill a vampire (by going on one of those head-to-head rampages Lord of the Rings styles), they break like cement. Hmmmmm, I always knew they were dead creatures, but do they really turn into cement? Reason #5689 to believe True Blood more than this shonky Twilight series.

6. ‘Don’t just be a slut. Be a super slut!’

Movie: Easy A
Or, rather, this lesson should be ‘lie to advance your financial standing’. Olive lies to lose her virginity, which helps get her attention. Then she helps her friend lie about his sexuality to get him more attention. Then she helps a whole lot of other guys lie about how they got the girl so she can get a label maker. All while doing this, she dresses in some ‘whore couture’ and symbolizes herself with a red ‘A’ for ‘adulterer’. She could have just stopped at the first lie, but she went all the way. All without losing her V-card. Go Olive!

5. ‘Always keep a long jersey in the safe.’

Movie: 4.3.2.1.
For those of you haven’t seen the film (i.e. most of you), I’ll give you a rundown on why this is such a great idea. Cassandra, who is played by the tall and beautiful up-comer Tamsin Egerton, goes to New York to not only try and get into a prestigious music school, but to meet her internet boyfriend. He doesn’t meet her as originally planned, and she goes for a bit of retail therapy to spend her sorrows away. However, her ‘internet boyfriend’ turns up at her hotel room, and they have a rather physical first date. When she wakes up in the morning, she finds that all of her clothes are gone, and she’s reduced to her smalls. But, never fear! Luckily, in the safe, she finds a pink jersey which is long enough to not be revealing. In this jersey she goes on a one woman crusade to find her clothes (when she finds out that her internet boyfriend isn’t the one she slept with...he’s really a nerd), then to seek revenge on the nerd and the thief, and then to audition for her music school (way later than her planned audition). She did this all in her trusty pink jersey. And that’s why you should always keep a jersey in the safe.

4. ‘If you want to disguise your voice as you are a superhero, PUT emphasis ON all the WRONG words.’

Movie: Kick-Ass
Whether this be just Nicolas Cage’s useless acting, or his attempt at an ‘Adam West’ impersonation, all I can say is that doesn’t make him sound tough or super at all. No, it makes him sound like an idiot. But, then again, it’s more understandable than Christian Bale’s emphysema-like voice as Batman. Either way, it’s damn annoying, and it’s further proof that Monsieur Cage needs to go back to drama school to learn how to successfully apply inflection and emphasis to his voice.

3. ‘Don’t trust the old lady who comes into the diner.’

Movie: Legion
In the most unintentionally funniest movie moment of the year, Legion gives us a lesson that we wouldn’t think of ourselves: an old lady could attack you at any given moment. Warning signs: she orders a bloody steak, she makes polite conversation, she tells you ‘all the little babies are gonna burn’. Just don’t try and be a hero, because she will bite you, then attempt to be Spiderman, before some guy shoots her. Yeah, she was supposed to be an angel. As the whole movie was supposed to be about angels, but turned out being a movie with religious undertones, B-grade horror and some more of that apocalyptic shit the Hollywood gods think we love watching.

2. ‘You can’t feed chicken to a chicken.’

Movie: The Social Network
Forced cannibalism. One of the many themes which are part of the amazingness that is The Social Network. I mean, who would have thought ‘the Facebook movie’ would have so many great messages? I never knew you couldn’t feed chicken to a chicken. Poor Eduardo, he seemed so down when this story got out. But in his defence, he had thought about it: “Don't fish eat other fish? The marlins and the trouts!” This was the best of the many lessons I learned throughout this film, which include: Girls will actually like Mark, even if he is a nerd, but they won’t because he is an asshole; We lived in cities, then farms, and now on the internet; and that dating Mark Zuckerberg is like dating a Stairmaster. So much for this movie being as interesting as a photo album called ‘Random’!

1. ‘Pacman was originally called Puck-man.’

Movie: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
In Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, we learnt that bread makes you fat, chicken is not vegan and the ‘L’ word is in fact lesbian, but none of those lessons were as valuable as Pacman’s true origins. “Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,' which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever.”...Scott Pilgrim’s favourite pick up line, which is so interesting that he got to date Ramona Flowers (I’m joking, it failed...lesson #55 of this movie: never use that as a pick up line). As Kim would say: “Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.”

Best and worst movies of 2010...so far

Okay, so I won't be able to do one of those fancy lists that has every awardsy movie in there. Why? Two reasons: 1) Most of them don't come out here until next year. 2) I don't often go to the cinemas because they are so far away and there are probably age restrictions on them meaning I can't watch them until they come out on DVD. It will be so much easier next year when I have my restricted drivers license so I can drive myself everywhere and when I am 16 so I'll be able to legally watch most of these movies.

Anyway, I haven't seen such films as Black Swan, The King's Speech, The Fighter, 127 Hours, The Kid's are All Right...the list goes on. But what I have seen you will find on here. I'll give you the best of each genre, some overrated films, some underrated films and some really bad films. Beware...I haven't seen a lot.

BEST DRAMA

Yeah, I'm a huge fan of The Social Network. I don't mind if it sweeps up every award at the Oscars. I was so interested in the story of Facebook before I had even heard of this movie, so seeing it all come to life was just amazing for me. The way Aaron Sorkin wrote it--as what could have possibly been a highly intelligent thriller--made the movie what it was. Hearing Jesse Eisenberg drone out his words in complete monotone was music to my ears. On that topic, Eisenberg has really grown into a proper actor with this role. Who would have thought that awkward lanky nerd would be an Oscar nominee (well I'm guessing he will be)? And where did Andrew Garfield come from? Thank God he's arrived on the scene. Justin Timberlake quashes all those thoughts on how a musician can't act. Complete with superb direction from David Fincher and an amazing score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, The Social Network is the movie event of the year.

BEST ACTION

Does this need an introduction? Ever since I first laid eyes on Inception back on July 22nd, I fell head over heels for it. And since getting it on DVD and watching it eight times, I think it's fair for me to say that Inception was my favourite film of the year. I still love it, even though most critics have forgotten about it. Truth is, Inception will probably live on a lot longer than the likes of The Social Network because it is so creative and original, and that ending sticks in your mind long after you have watched it. Christopher Nolan has topped his efforts on The Dark Knight (even though that remains as my favourite film of all time), and now we just have to wait and see if he can top those two with The Dark Knight Rises in 2012. Should be all in a days work for the guy.

BEST COMEDY

While Kick-Ass is probably recognized as an action film, I thought it was simply the funniest thing I had seen all year. I am totally obsessed with this movie. It's so gloriously violent, crazily colourful and all out entertaining that I couldn't help but fall in love with it. That probably all comes down to a nerdy Aaron Johnson, a fellow nerdy Christopher Mintz-Plasse, a sweet but outrageous Nicolas Cage, a wickedly evil Mark Strong, and, well, a fantastically talented Chloe Moretz. With all the foul-mouthery and raunchiness of a general R-rated comedy, plus all the violence one could hope for, Kick-Ass was 2010's major win.

BEST HORROR

I don't generally watch a lot of horrors, though mostly every one I have watched this year has been crap (see further down the list). However, one--which is probably more along the lines of sci-fi--which stood out for me was Splice. Despite the fact that it was so stuffed up, I really enjoyed it, and thought it was a stunning piece of modern cinema with great performances from Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley. Edgar Wright, the director of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, put this on his list of underrated movies of 2010, and said this: "This film was awarded a Cinemascore of F on the basis of two audience losing sex scenes that caused audible ‘What the fuck’ cries when I saw it in the cinema. I applauded them. This is a great twisted little piece of science fiction that deserved to be lauded for its smarts and guts." I couldn't agree more. While it does cause a few jaw dropping moments, Splice is still damn good.

BEST THRILLER

By now every one has probably forgotten about Martin Scorsese's delayed thriller Shutter Island, but it still deserves it's place on here. While it wasn't as good as I expected it to be, it was definitely edge-of-your-seat stuff, with a thrilling conclusion that was nothing but utter mindfuck. Featuring another superb and underrated performance from Leonardo DiCaprio, along with fine showings from man-of-the-moment Mark Ruffalo, Michelle Williams and Ben Kingsley, Shutter Island was a powerhouse of fun and pulpy horror blended in with a twisty thriller, and I applaud Scorsese for his achievements.

BEST ANIMATED

I don't think I have ever cried so much in a movie as I did at the end of Toy Story 3. It was a bittersweet farewell to those lovely toys I grew up with, and a pleasant reminder that Pixar will always make the best animated films. No other animated movie could come close to the greatness of this one, because no other animated movie could possibly capture the poignant moments or heart warming scenes that this one parades so well. Are we ready to say goodbye to Woody, Buzz, Jessie and the gang? Hmmmm...I don't know.

WORST FILM

Yay! A remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street! Because we soooooooooo needed one of them! Jeez, this movie was a mess. From it's unbelievable gore to it's generally laughable script and everything in between, it was awful. I feel sorry for Jackie Earle Haley, who may have put his all in, but he ain't no Freddy Kruger. And poor Rooney Mara. On her way to becoming a well respected actress in The Social Network and on to being Lisbeth Salander: version 2.0, she had to star in this crap. I don't hate it, it just could have been a hell of a lot better.
OTHER BAD FILMS FROM 2010:
The Last Song, Open House, Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time, The Bounty Hunter, Tooth Fairy, Legion, Killers, Eclipse, The Karate Kid, Clash of the Titans, Sex and the City 2, Dear John, Green Zone.

MOST OVERRATED FILM

I feel liked I should have loved I Am Love, considering European films which focus more on style are somewhat of a specialty for me. But I just couldn't. I found it generally boring (I hate using the word 'boring' to describe a film, but it really was). Yes, the aesthetic appeal of it was amazing, but it certainly wasn't as stunning or as triumphant as many made it out to be. I think this was because the film was lacking in story and felt genuinely unstructured, leading up to a ludicrous ending which only just won my attention. Tilda Swinton was undeniably gorgeous in this movie, and spoke Italian like she had been speaking it all her life, but even her dedication couldn't save this movie from the melodramatic soap it really was.

MOST UNDERRATED FILM

Last week I gave Cemetery Junction another look, and I fell in love with it. It's actually gut-bustingly funny, but moreso the movie is entirely true. The characters all represent that part of becoming an adult, which makes it so great. Add in appearances from Ricky Gervais (co-writer and director), Matthew Goode and a fierce Ralph Fiennes, and this movie has got it made. Cemetery Junction made me so happy, but also so sad that not many people have seen this British delight. Either way, it's bloody good and deserves some more audience.

BEST OVERALL FILM

This beast of nature deserves my highest honour as best film of 2010. Well done, Inception, you may not win Best Picture at the Oscars, but that doesn't stop you from being the actual best picture of the year. Now, Nolan, I expect to see you at the top of this list again in 2012!

HONOURABLE MENTIONS...OTHER GREAT MOVIES OF THE YEAR

What were your top movies this year? Drop a comment...I'd love some recommendations for when we finally get some more movies!