A Jessica Chastain Appreciation Post

Today is the lovely Jessica Chastain's birthday. This time last year, so few of us had heard of her. And then, out of nowhere, she starred in more than enough films to last an actor a decade. Sure enough, she's became my favourite actress, and I've endeavoured to see her in as much as possible. So let's take a look at the performances of hers that I've seen (there's some that haven't reached us here), and where they stand against each other.

6) Sally Ann in Stolen Lives (2008)

Admittedly, I only watched this movie because I'd heard that she was in it. And because the DVD slip said that there was a man called "John Hammm" (no jokes) in it. You probably can't expect great things from a movie which can't even spell it's headlining star right, but the film isn't too bad. It is just a very standard straight-to-DVD made-for-TV feel kind of movie. If I'm being honest, I can't really remember Jess all that much in it because her role is so small, but she was pretty cute.

Quick Limerick Reviews: Jane Eyre, Footloose, Super + more

Okay, so I'm no poet. I loathe poetry. Well, the poetry you have to write at school filled with metaphors and similies and crap like that...yeah, I don't like it. However, I have tried my hand at poetry on the blog in the past, and it was quite a hit. So, to clear up a few movies that I'd like to get some recognition on the blog but can't be bothered doing a full review on, I've decided to review them via limerick, a poetry technique we learn in our fourth year of school (I think) here. What's a limerick, you ask? Well, in case you don't know, it is like an extended haiku: it is all about the syllables. Here are the basic rules:
-There are five lines.
-Lines 1, 2 and 5 all rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 rhyme with one another, too.
-Lines 1, 2 and 5 have between 7 and 10 syllables in each line.
-Lines 3 and 4 should have between 5 and 7 syllables in each line.
-Ideally, it should be funny (here's hoping).
I shall be reviewing Jane Eyre (2011), Footloose (2011), Super, Texas Killing Fields, What's Your Number?, and Chalet Girl. Here goes...(remember to remind yourselves of the new rating system here)

Jane Eyre (2011)

Charlotte Bronte's book Jane Eyre

A book that film adapters never fear

Has a fresh re-run

That's stylish and handsome

All without revealing Fassy's man gear.

What I got:

Footloose (2011)

A town where dancing is still outlawed?

MTV thinks that will still strike a chord

Add in some hip-hop shakin'

Take out Kevin Bacon

...Wait, why did this need to be restored?

What I got:

Super (2010)

Yeah, this is just like Kick-Ass

It just didn't move as fast

Instead, it was really dark

I mean like really dark

But my oh my, it's darkness was a blast.

What I got:

Texas Killing Fields (2011)

One of the many films with Jess Chastain

And where Worthington's 'accent' is a pain

It's gothic and bleak

Not really my cup of tea

BUT OMG JESSICA CHASTAIN!

What I got:

What's Your Number? (2011)

Okay, I'm not going to pretend,

That this rom-com was my friend.

Entertaining, yes

But one huge cliché mess

Oh, she sleeps with Chris Evans in the end.

What I got:

Chalet Girl (2011)

I always find the Brits quite funny

And Felicity Jones is sweet like honey

She is the saving grace

Nothing else falls into place

I do wish that I was a ski-bunny.

What I got:

What do you think of these films? Got any limericks of your own?